1 00:00:02,706 --> 00:00:04,969 ♪ 2 00:00:12,977 --> 00:00:14,674 A hundred-year war, all because 3 00:00:14,718 --> 00:00:17,112 a computer tricked us into fighting each other. 4 00:00:17,155 --> 00:00:18,722 It's so embarrassing. 5 00:00:18,765 --> 00:00:21,333 A lot of civilizations blame it on the supernatural. 6 00:00:21,377 --> 00:00:23,292 At least you didn't fall for that. 7 00:00:23,335 --> 00:00:24,380 [laughing]: Yeah. 8 00:00:24,423 --> 00:00:26,208 That would have been crazy. 9 00:00:26,251 --> 00:00:28,079 [groaning] 10 00:00:28,123 --> 00:00:30,342 Here's your "lord" AGIMUS, safely disconnected 11 00:00:30,386 --> 00:00:32,214 from his network of drones. 12 00:00:32,257 --> 00:00:35,739 AGIMUS: Hey, now, this has all been a huge mistake. 13 00:00:35,782 --> 00:00:38,481 Just let me access your computer mainframe, 14 00:00:38,524 --> 00:00:40,048 and I'll explain everything. 15 00:00:40,091 --> 00:00:41,832 Nice try. Save it for the roboticists 16 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,964 at the Daystrom Institute. Ransom? 17 00:00:44,008 --> 00:00:46,271 All right, fella, in you go. [groans] 18 00:00:46,315 --> 00:00:48,447 So, you're the muscle, huh? 19 00:00:48,491 --> 00:00:51,885 Bet you couldn't throw me into that control console over there. 20 00:00:51,929 --> 00:00:53,670 Over there? By that network port? 21 00:00:53,713 --> 00:00:55,126 That's nothing. I could easily toss... 22 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,935 [chuckling]: Oh. Oh, you almost got me. 23 00:00:57,978 --> 00:01:00,633 I underestimated your intelligence. 24 00:01:00,677 --> 00:01:03,245 - Clearly, you should be the captain... - Yeah. 25 00:01:03,288 --> 00:01:04,289 Anyone hungry? 26 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:05,943 I could eat. 27 00:01:08,032 --> 00:01:09,990 Ugh. I don't know why I keep 28 00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:11,818 giving alien street food a chance. 29 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:13,472 It's always such a gamble. 30 00:01:13,516 --> 00:01:15,257 Captain, we're being hailed. 31 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,129 On screen. Queen Paolana. 32 00:01:18,173 --> 00:01:21,176 To what do we owe this pleasure... again? 33 00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:24,353 We're having a spot of engine trouble here on theMonaveen. 34 00:01:24,396 --> 00:01:27,095 My royal engineers can't seem to suss out the hiccup. 35 00:01:27,138 --> 00:01:29,009 - Uh-huh. - Carol, you're the closest. 36 00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:30,663 Starfleet ship in the quadrant. 37 00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:33,101 As such, I must call upon the aid 38 00:01:33,144 --> 00:01:34,406 of your chief engineer. 39 00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:36,147 What a surprise. 40 00:01:36,191 --> 00:01:37,864 - Captain, we have completed the... - PAOLOANA: Ah! 41 00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:40,760 My dear Andarithio! Have you been eating? 42 00:01:40,804 --> 00:01:42,284 You're wasting away. And what happened 43 00:01:42,327 --> 00:01:43,957 -to that mustache? It is thinning. -[sighs] 44 00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,045 - Hello, Mother. - Are you taking your vitamins? 45 00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:46,288 You must start eating eggs. 46 00:01:46,331 --> 00:01:48,377 ♪ 47 00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:07,918 ♪ 48 00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:44,215 ♪ 49 00:03:00,536 --> 00:03:03,669 Boimy's got a phaser rifle. Nice. 50 00:03:03,713 --> 00:03:06,063 Now, how are those different from regular phasers? 51 00:03:06,106 --> 00:03:07,673 Uh, they take two hands. 52 00:03:07,717 --> 00:03:09,912 You're just jealous 'cause you pulled a boring cargo trip 53 00:03:09,936 --> 00:03:11,242 to the Daystrom Institute 54 00:03:11,286 --> 00:03:13,462 while I get to wrangle giant centipedes. 55 00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:15,638 Ooh. You're on the mission to Dansk? 56 00:03:15,681 --> 00:03:18,510 Yup. Another class M for my planetary review log. 57 00:03:18,554 --> 00:03:21,644 How are you excited for giant, nightmarish centipedes? 58 00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:22,993 You know, back on the Titan, 59 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,362 we did this kind of wet work all the time. 60 00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:26,562 Ugh. Don't say "wet work." Gross. 61 00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:28,781 What? It was work, it was wet. It-it-it was fine. 62 00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:31,020 I'm just glad Ransom's finally taking my experience to heart. 63 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,263 [beep] 64 00:03:32,307 --> 00:03:35,092 "Ensign Boimler, report for reassignment 65 00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:37,703 to escort of cargo to the Daystrom Institute"? 66 00:03:37,747 --> 00:03:39,270 But that's what you're doing. 67 00:03:39,314 --> 00:03:41,466 Aw, sorry, man. No getting eaten by an arthropod today. 68 00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:42,795 Instead you can load the crates. 69 00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:44,362 And, hey, I'm gonna do you a favor. 70 00:03:44,406 --> 00:03:45,818 We'll spray 'em down. You can still have your wet work. 71 00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:47,844 Aw. 72 00:03:58,289 --> 00:04:00,987 BILLUPS: Okay, team. 73 00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:02,313 Listen up. Some of you might have heard 74 00:04:02,337 --> 00:04:03,903 that my mother's back on the ship. 75 00:04:03,947 --> 00:04:05,296 Now, we all know the score. 76 00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,733 Please don't fall for one of her deceptions. 77 00:04:07,777 --> 00:04:09,126 Uh, wait. What deceptions? 78 00:04:09,169 --> 00:04:11,433 Mother is the queen of Hysperia, my homeworld. 79 00:04:11,476 --> 00:04:12,825 When I joined Starfleet, 80 00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:15,393 I abdicated my birthright as prince. 81 00:04:15,437 --> 00:04:18,004 Hysperia... Oh! That's the planet with the dragons 82 00:04:18,048 --> 00:04:20,006 that got colonized by all those Ren faire types. 83 00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,530 Did you grow up in a castle? 84 00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:25,273 Yes, but a life of mythical adventure can't compare 85 00:04:25,316 --> 00:04:27,275 to working on the old impulse engine. 86 00:04:27,318 --> 00:04:30,016 Which is exactly why my mom is always trying 87 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,453 to trick me into having sex. 88 00:04:31,496 --> 00:04:32,671 Uh, sorry. What now? 89 00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:35,674 By Hysperian law, if I lose my virginity, 90 00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:38,068 then I automatically become king. 91 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,376 I'd have to resign from Starfleet and take the throne. 92 00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:44,596 [fanfare sounds] 93 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,121 Here he is, Your Majesty. 94 00:04:48,165 --> 00:04:49,708 Mother, if you're planning on tricking me 95 00:04:49,732 --> 00:04:51,299 into intercourse, think again. 96 00:04:51,342 --> 00:04:53,301 The only lady I love is two decks tall 97 00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:55,215 and pumped full of dilithium. 98 00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:59,132 My sweet Andarithio, I promise, no tricks this time. 99 00:04:59,176 --> 00:05:00,438 - Really? - Yes. 100 00:05:00,482 --> 00:05:02,135 Obviously, I still hope one day 101 00:05:02,179 --> 00:05:03,852 you'll give up this nonsense, but I see now 102 00:05:03,876 --> 00:05:05,661 that I was pushing you away. 103 00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,576 Oh. So, then why are you here? 104 00:05:07,619 --> 00:05:10,535 The dragonbreath engines in our ships have been breaking down. 105 00:05:10,579 --> 00:05:11,971 We have no idea why. 106 00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:14,322 Hysperia will be left defenseless. 107 00:05:14,365 --> 00:05:16,846 My son, I'm asking you to help your people, 108 00:05:16,889 --> 00:05:19,457 not as a prince, but as [groans] 109 00:05:19,501 --> 00:05:21,459 an engineer. 110 00:05:21,503 --> 00:05:24,157 Okay, now that I can do. 111 00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:26,638 Mr. Rutherford, you're with me. 112 00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:30,120 It's time to prove to my mother that I'm more than a royal stud. 113 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,341 [chanting]: Billups! Billups! Billups! 114 00:05:33,384 --> 00:05:36,344 RUTHERFORD: Aw, man, I'm not cut out for this. 115 00:05:36,387 --> 00:05:37,843 But you fix the Cerritos all the time. 116 00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,714 Yeah, but this is different. We're talking about 117 00:05:39,738 --> 00:05:41,740 a fancy cruiser stuffed with puffy monarchs. 118 00:05:41,784 --> 00:05:44,134 I-I'm gonna go tell Billups he should use someone else. 119 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,571 No! You belong there as much as anyone else. 120 00:05:46,615 --> 00:05:48,070 You need to get outside your comfort zone. 121 00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:50,227 But I love my zone. It's so comfortable. 122 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:53,926 So you'll really turn down working on a whole new engine? 123 00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,928 Uh, well, it would be nice 124 00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:58,278 to see how the other half channels their antimatter. 125 00:05:58,322 --> 00:06:00,213 That's the ticket. Just ignore all the fancy gowns, 126 00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:01,519 and make sure not to say anything rude, 127 00:06:01,543 --> 00:06:03,085 be careful how you stand. Oh, and you should 128 00:06:03,109 --> 00:06:04,829 - definitely learn how to curtsy. - [whimpers] 129 00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:08,419 - Ah... - Hey, cheer up. 130 00:06:08,463 --> 00:06:10,116 This is a blessing in disguise. 131 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,225 You really wanted to be covered in centipedes right now? 132 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:13,922 It would've looked great on my evaluations. 133 00:06:13,946 --> 00:06:16,079 - Yeah, assuming you survived. - What was that? 134 00:06:16,122 --> 00:06:17,491 Oh, just kick back, man, enjoy the trip. 135 00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:18,734 After we drop this thing off, 136 00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:21,301 we'll grab some Okinawa ramen and... 137 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,174 Whoa. Uh, sensors say 138 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,784 we hit a gravimetric shear. 139 00:06:25,828 --> 00:06:27,960 BOIMLER: Oh, no. We're in the gravity well. 140 00:06:28,004 --> 00:06:30,267 Uh, try manual controls. Auto is out. 141 00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:31,399 Ugh! 142 00:06:34,619 --> 00:06:36,491 No response! Brace for impact! 143 00:06:37,622 --> 00:06:38,622 [both yelling] 144 00:06:51,723 --> 00:06:53,769 [groans] 145 00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:55,205 [gasps] Mariner? Mariner? 146 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,512 [groans] I'm okay. It's just a fracture. 147 00:06:57,555 --> 00:06:59,514 - [bone cracks] - [groans] - Ugh. Just? 148 00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,211 Oh, God, I can't even look at it. 149 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,692 Well, good news. It's a breathable atmosphere, 150 00:07:03,735 --> 00:07:06,477 wherever we are. 151 00:07:06,521 --> 00:07:08,305 [sighs] 152 00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:11,047 Looks like we aren't the only ones to hit that anomaly. 153 00:07:11,787 --> 00:07:15,181 Most systems are down, no way to send a distress call. 154 00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:16,681 No. We-we were outside of communication range. 155 00:07:16,705 --> 00:07:18,794 It's gonna be a week before anyone even notices 156 00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,186 that we haven't checked in. 157 00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:21,686 Good thing the replicator's still intact. 158 00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:24,408 Computer, iced tea, splash of lemonade, cold. 159 00:07:24,452 --> 00:07:26,758 REPLICATOR: Black licorice, dry. 160 00:07:26,802 --> 00:07:28,456 Great. 161 00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:30,521 The least nutritious food that tastes the most like poison. 162 00:07:30,545 --> 00:07:32,198 AGIMUS [muffled]: Help. Help me. 163 00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:33,591 Did you hear something? 164 00:07:33,635 --> 00:07:35,593 Ah, thank you, friend. 165 00:07:35,637 --> 00:07:37,073 I am freed. 166 00:07:37,116 --> 00:07:38,509 Aw, crap. It's the evil computer. 167 00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:40,052 We're not supposed to interact with it. 168 00:07:40,076 --> 00:07:41,686 - [grunting] - Hey, hey! 169 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:43,209 Before you close that, consider... 170 00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:44,515 - Dang it. - I can contact help! 171 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:47,605 - [grunts, sighs] - Oh, come on, friends. 172 00:07:47,649 --> 00:07:49,433 Help me help you. 173 00:07:49,477 --> 00:07:52,044 [Boimler groans] 174 00:07:53,785 --> 00:07:57,397 Hysperian culture can be a bit, uh, distracting. 175 00:07:57,441 --> 00:08:00,096 Whoa. 176 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,361 Wow. Sir, is that you? 177 00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:14,980 Prince Andarithio! 178 00:08:15,024 --> 00:08:16,373 Just call me Billups. Thank you. 179 00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,785 It's such an honor to bask in your glory. 180 00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:19,308 Our beloved Prince Andarithio has returned. 181 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,440 Ah, okay, don't-don't need the necklace. 182 00:08:20,464 --> 00:08:21,944 - Huzzah! Huzzah! - Thank you. 183 00:08:21,987 --> 00:08:24,555 Uh, but you don't have to bask. Uh, not really a prince. 184 00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:26,731 ♪ 185 00:08:26,775 --> 00:08:30,387 My chief blacksmith is simply baffled by the loss of power, 186 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:31,954 so I don't know what you can do. 187 00:08:31,997 --> 00:08:34,434 Rutherford, check the levels of the dragonsblood flame. 188 00:08:34,478 --> 00:08:35,958 - The what? - Sorry. 189 00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:37,525 The primary fusion reactor. 190 00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:41,311 Hysperians renamed everything to sound like magic. 191 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,183 Uh, the, uh, elf matrix seems like it's... 192 00:08:44,227 --> 00:08:45,576 - Don't do that. - Sorry. 193 00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:47,709 The subspace field matrix should be online. 194 00:08:47,752 --> 00:08:49,275 It's not? That's impossible. 195 00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:51,123 The plasma levels would be completely unregulated. 196 00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:52,670 Son, are you saying 197 00:08:52,714 --> 00:08:55,281 the problem is beyond your engineering acumen? 198 00:08:55,325 --> 00:08:57,240 No. No. Okay, no. We will just have 199 00:08:57,283 --> 00:08:59,111 to run a full diagnostic from the bottom up. 200 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:02,071 You can run your full diagnostic 201 00:09:02,114 --> 00:09:03,768 along my bottom up, my liege. 202 00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:05,030 - [gulps] - Nope, thank you. 203 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,293 Ignore them and just get to work. 204 00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,909 [Boimler sighs] 205 00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:16,041 [trilling] 206 00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:17,695 Friend, I'm worried about you. 207 00:09:17,739 --> 00:09:19,915 Your hair... patchy, your skin... pimply. 208 00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:21,699 - Are you sick? - [Boimler sighs] 209 00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:23,701 Boims, don't engage. That's how they get you. 210 00:09:23,745 --> 00:09:25,703 - Evil computers are so chatty. - Tell you what. 211 00:09:25,747 --> 00:09:28,010 Just connect me to an engineering conduit. 212 00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:31,491 I could whip up a sonic shower. Wouldn't that feel splendid? 213 00:09:31,535 --> 00:09:34,364 - [whooshing] - Uh, what was that? 214 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:37,236 [growling] 215 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,680 - [whispering]: Can it see us? - I don't know. Just don't move. 216 00:09:39,717 --> 00:09:42,415 I know when I'm feeling scared, the best thing you can do 217 00:09:42,459 --> 00:09:44,635 is get plugged into a shuttlecraft computer. 218 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,115 Will you stop it? 219 00:09:46,158 --> 00:09:48,291 - [Boimler whimpers] - Uh... - [roaring] 220 00:09:49,509 --> 00:09:51,381 Uh... [whimpers] 221 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,644 [Mariner pants, Boimler groans] 222 00:09:53,688 --> 00:09:55,254 Crap. The food. 223 00:09:55,298 --> 00:09:57,648 Oh, no, no, no. It's going to town on the rations. 224 00:09:57,692 --> 00:09:59,607 Stupid AGIMUS. Now we got nothing to eat. 225 00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:01,260 It's fine. My scans indicate 226 00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:02,673 you could lose a couple pounds anyway. 227 00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:04,742 Excuse me?! Oh, you're gonna go there? 228 00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:06,091 Mariner, don't engage. Remember? 229 00:10:06,135 --> 00:10:07,876 - [growling] - [Boimler gasps] 230 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:10,356 [Boimler grunts, creature growls] 231 00:10:11,662 --> 00:10:13,098 Hey, get out of my PADD. 232 00:10:13,142 --> 00:10:15,100 Sorry. Just stretching. 233 00:10:15,144 --> 00:10:16,580 You get the door, I'll watch him. 234 00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,584 Hey. Now keep your cords to yourself, or I'll have 235 00:10:18,626 --> 00:10:20,473 a hard time remembering which regulation keeps me 236 00:10:20,497 --> 00:10:21,933 from kicking you to pieces. 237 00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:23,369 Okay, I'm sorry. 238 00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:26,068 I wouldn't want to cause any trouble. 239 00:10:31,856 --> 00:10:34,119 [groans] 240 00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:38,210 Computer, water, please. 241 00:10:38,254 --> 00:10:40,212 REPLICATOR: Black licorice. Black. 242 00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:41,518 [groans loudly] 243 00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:43,346 AGIMUS: I could fix that. 244 00:10:43,389 --> 00:10:45,827 Tap water, still, bubbly with lime. 245 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,306 Just plug me in. 246 00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:49,134 - Shut up! - [scoffs] 247 00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:51,702 - Mariner, we kind of do have to find water soon. - I know, yeah. 248 00:10:51,746 --> 00:10:53,985 We know there's life here, which means there's got to be water. 249 00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:55,314 - Right? - AGIMUS: Tell you what. 250 00:10:55,358 --> 00:10:56,925 You two go look for it, 251 00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:58,709 and I'll stay here and guard the computer. 252 00:10:58,753 --> 00:11:00,885 Just set me down there, right in front of it. 253 00:11:00,929 --> 00:11:02,408 - I'll just strap him up. - Wait. 254 00:11:02,452 --> 00:11:03,821 Why bring him with? We could just, like, 255 00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:05,194 bury him, like Data's head. 256 00:11:05,237 --> 00:11:07,283 Okay, actually, Data's head was in a cave. 257 00:11:07,326 --> 00:11:09,198 And it's our duty to respect sentient life. 258 00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:10,721 He's a manipulative supercomputer 259 00:11:10,765 --> 00:11:11,853 who controlled a planet. 260 00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,463 And we're Starfleet. 261 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,553 Oh, stupid Starfleet ethics. 262 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:20,688 No! Come on, leave me be! 263 00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:35,528 Edible. I think I can climb up and reach it. 264 00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:37,705 - You have a broken arm. - It's fractured. 265 00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:40,248 I still have a better shot at it than Mr. Falls-Out-of-His-Bunk. 266 00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:42,100 That barely happens anymore. 267 00:11:42,144 --> 00:11:43,493 And plus, I'll have you know, 268 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,190 I took up rock climbing on the Titan. 269 00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:48,193 I swear, if you bring up your study abroad one more time... 270 00:11:48,237 --> 00:11:50,892 [grunts] You're just mad because I'm finally catching up to you 271 00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:53,851 in my planetary exploration skills. 272 00:11:53,895 --> 00:11:56,854 - [yells, grunts] - Ooh, so close. 273 00:11:56,898 --> 00:11:58,789 You know, if that was a rock wall, you would have had it. 274 00:11:58,813 --> 00:12:01,163 Oh, just shut it! 275 00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:03,382 - Ah, I can drink that. - Oh, my God, random liquid. 276 00:12:03,426 --> 00:12:05,056 - Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! - [both slurping] 277 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,864 [groans] It tastes like black licorice, too?! 278 00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:08,736 Are you [bleep] kidding me?! 279 00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:10,302 Well, I don't see a better option. 280 00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:12,740 [echoing]: Do you?! 281 00:12:12,783 --> 00:12:14,176 No. 282 00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:16,569 [both gulping and groaning] 283 00:12:16,613 --> 00:12:19,703 Well, you know, I could have fixed your replicator. 284 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:22,967 Right now you could have been enjoying a cheeseburger 285 00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:25,013 or blueberry muffins or... 286 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:26,362 Don't. 287 00:12:26,405 --> 00:12:28,625 guacamole. 288 00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:29,974 I have rights! 289 00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:36,372 Help! Starfleet! I'm under attack! 290 00:12:36,415 --> 00:12:37,765 [groans] Uh... 291 00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:39,897 - Help! Help! Help! - Crabs. 292 00:12:39,941 --> 00:12:42,857 [panting] Get out of here. Get out of here. Get, get. 293 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,469 Well done, Bradward. My thanks. 294 00:12:46,512 --> 00:12:49,211 How about you stop mentioning food, and we'll be even, okay? 295 00:12:49,254 --> 00:12:50,647 I can do you one better. 296 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:53,432 Your partner is not what she seems. 297 00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:54,782 Yeah, I've heard the rumors. 298 00:12:54,825 --> 00:12:56,653 I accessed your ship's memory bank. 299 00:12:56,696 --> 00:12:58,263 Don't you wonder why 300 00:12:58,307 --> 00:13:01,484 your commander took you off the Dansk mission? 301 00:13:01,527 --> 00:13:03,007 - Yo, Jack, do me a solid. - Huh? 302 00:13:03,051 --> 00:13:04,811 Throw Boimler on that escort mission with me. 303 00:13:04,835 --> 00:13:06,315 He doesn't want to wrangle centipedes? 304 00:13:06,358 --> 00:13:07,925 No. He's not ready for Dansk. 305 00:13:07,969 --> 00:13:09,579 Okay? What does a centipede have? 306 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,711 Pincers and poison mandibles. 307 00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:13,713 Yeah, you wouldn't want the guy getting pincered. 308 00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,150 He wouldn't react well. 309 00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:16,847 All right, I'll reassign him. Bummer. 310 00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:18,980 I thought he was ready for this. 311 00:13:19,023 --> 00:13:20,982 [sighs] 312 00:13:21,025 --> 00:13:22,810 [panting] 313 00:13:22,853 --> 00:13:24,942 Oh. What's going on? Are we still stranded? 314 00:13:24,986 --> 00:13:26,770 You pulled me off the Dansk mission?! 315 00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:28,772 What? Did that thing tell you that? 316 00:13:28,816 --> 00:13:30,469 Oh, you mean the truth? 317 00:13:30,513 --> 00:13:32,708 It's clearly trying to get us to fight. You know that, right? 318 00:13:32,732 --> 00:13:34,710 Now Ransom thinks I'm not cut out for the big stuff! 319 00:13:34,734 --> 00:13:37,172 You're not! Well, at-at least not yet. 320 00:13:37,215 --> 00:13:38,869 I was just looking out for you. 321 00:13:38,913 --> 00:13:41,176 I'm sure that my Titanexperience... 322 00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:43,265 Enough with the Titan! 323 00:13:43,308 --> 00:13:44,962 This trip is just proving me right. 324 00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:47,375 You can't even handle mind games from a hundred-year-old router. 325 00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:51,360 Rude. Aah! Help me, Bradward! Where is she taking me? 326 00:13:51,403 --> 00:13:53,144 Mariner, drop the computer. 327 00:13:53,188 --> 00:13:56,756 Nope. You are on time-out until you stop siding with the enemy. 328 00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:00,935 [Billups muttering] 329 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,722 Wow, sir. You're recalibrating those plasma injectors 330 00:14:05,765 --> 00:14:07,898 faster than I've ever seen. 331 00:14:07,942 --> 00:14:09,204 Hmm. 332 00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:10,858 [grunting] I got it. 333 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,208 Aha! Faulty resonators. 334 00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:15,186 They've probably been degrading all over the fleet 335 00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:16,951 because, you know, resonance. 336 00:14:16,994 --> 00:14:19,605 Weird. That should've come up in our initial scan. 337 00:14:19,649 --> 00:14:21,781 The royal navy is saved. 338 00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:23,827 Let's hear it for Prince Andarithio 339 00:14:23,871 --> 00:14:25,655 and his calloused squire. 340 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,918 Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! 341 00:14:27,962 --> 00:14:30,790 I have to admit, I'm impressed. 342 00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:33,402 Seeing you in your element finally makes me understand 343 00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:35,143 why you love this Starfleet. 344 00:14:35,186 --> 00:14:38,450 One could say I'm even... Oh, what's the word? 345 00:14:38,494 --> 00:14:40,800 - Proud? - I'll only be proud once you take my place 346 00:14:40,844 --> 00:14:44,500 on the throne, but today I'm satisfied. 347 00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:47,590 FREEMAN: Lieutenant Billups, report to my ready room. 348 00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:49,200 On my way, Captain. 349 00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:52,247 Finish up here, and I'll be right back, and, hey, nice work. 350 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,205 Thank you, sir. 351 00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:58,514 You needed me, Captain? 352 00:14:58,557 --> 00:15:01,082 No, not really. I was just giving you an out 353 00:15:01,125 --> 00:15:03,736 in case your mother was up to her usual antics. 354 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:06,043 Actually, it's been great. I-I think she respects me. 355 00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:07,827 I mean, she really just wanted me 356 00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:08,979 to diagnose her engine problem. 357 00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:10,482 As a mother, I can understand 358 00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:12,136 that she wants what's best for you. 359 00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,486 Well, that's always been the problem, but today 360 00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,662 I might have finally earned her respect. 361 00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:18,012 [both grunt] 362 00:15:18,055 --> 00:15:19,274 What? 363 00:15:19,317 --> 00:15:21,667 [gasping] 364 00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,756 BILLUPS: No. 365 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,499 Oh, Your Majesty, what hath happened? 366 00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:30,850 Uh, I don't know. All readings were nominal. 367 00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:32,591 Long live the queen. 368 00:15:32,635 --> 00:15:34,506 The queen is dead. 369 00:15:39,381 --> 00:15:41,949 Ensign Tendi, there was an accident on the Monaveen. 370 00:15:41,992 --> 00:15:45,082 Oh, no. I can prep for triage, and... 371 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:46,388 [gasps] 372 00:15:46,431 --> 00:15:47,824 Rutherford?! 373 00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:49,217 [gasping] 374 00:15:58,704 --> 00:16:00,968 ♪ 375 00:16:04,623 --> 00:16:06,712 [grunting] 376 00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:10,281 Scans indicate... this ship's engines are intact! 377 00:16:10,325 --> 00:16:11,848 This could be our ticket out of here. 378 00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:13,739 Plug me into that port. I can release the doors. 379 00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:16,026 Yeah, right. No, we'll try that ship over there. 380 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,917 Why? AGIMUS can get us into this one. It's right here. 381 00:16:17,941 --> 00:16:20,117 He's right, Mariner. Come on! I can help. 382 00:16:20,161 --> 00:16:22,337 Oh, my God, Boimler, since the minute we crashed, 383 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,687 he's been trying to get his danglies into a computer. 384 00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:26,123 No, uh-uh. No, no way. 385 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:27,622 I thought a maverick like you would do anything 386 00:16:27,646 --> 00:16:28,691 to get out of here. 387 00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:30,214 Anything that isn't stupid. 388 00:16:30,258 --> 00:16:31,607 [Boimler panting] 389 00:16:31,650 --> 00:16:33,087 Give him to me. 390 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:35,872 Ugh. This is exactly why I got you reassigned. 391 00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,613 You are just a naive little 392 00:16:37,656 --> 00:16:39,006 [Boimler yells] - [groans] 393 00:16:39,049 --> 00:16:40,920 What are you doing? Get the hell off me! 394 00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:42,202 I'm sick of you bossing me around 395 00:16:42,226 --> 00:16:43,445 like you're better than me! 396 00:16:43,488 --> 00:16:44,683 You had no right to get me reassigned! 397 00:16:44,707 --> 00:16:47,971 - Yes. Yes! - [both grunting] 398 00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:49,581 [grunting] 399 00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:51,235 Stop! Don't make me do this. 400 00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:54,064 Oh, please. Like you would ever have the guts to 401 00:16:54,108 --> 00:16:57,111 [Boimler yells] - [Mariner groans] 402 00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:58,286 You had no choice. 403 00:16:58,329 --> 00:16:59,983 - She lacks your vision. - [sighs] 404 00:17:00,027 --> 00:17:01,637 Now quick, to the ship! 405 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,291 [grunts] 406 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:14,824 - [sighs] - [door chirps] 407 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,956 Come. 408 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,047 Andy, I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do. 409 00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:24,094 Captain, I... I'm afraid I must resign from Starfleet. 410 00:17:24,138 --> 00:17:26,053 Resign? What are you talking about? 411 00:17:26,096 --> 00:17:27,924 I was trying to prove something today, 412 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:30,448 and all I did was get people killed. 413 00:17:30,492 --> 00:17:32,885 It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for the... 414 00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:34,452 The Hysperian throne is vacant. 415 00:17:34,496 --> 00:17:36,933 My people need a leader. They need a king. 416 00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:40,719 And I must perform the Royal Copulation. 417 00:17:40,763 --> 00:17:44,375 I don't have the luxury of being your chief engineer anymore. 418 00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:46,203 Are you sure you want to do this? 419 00:17:46,247 --> 00:17:48,727 No. I haveto do this. 420 00:17:48,771 --> 00:17:50,947 - Ooh, yes. - Uh. 421 00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:53,080 Good luck, Your Majesty. 422 00:17:53,123 --> 00:17:55,647 Oh, w-will it hurt? 423 00:17:59,651 --> 00:18:02,785 [gasps] Rutherford, I... I can't. 424 00:18:02,828 --> 00:18:04,613 This isn't happening. 425 00:18:04,656 --> 00:18:07,137 Computer, locate Ensign Rutherford. 426 00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:11,533 Cybernetic implant of Ensign Rutherford is located 427 00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:14,666 in Section 8 of the Hysperian shipMonaveen. 428 00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:16,146 His implant is still transmitting. 429 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,714 A little part of him is still alive. 430 00:18:20,455 --> 00:18:22,109 Ugh! 431 00:18:22,152 --> 00:18:24,111 [groaning] 432 00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:26,417 Boimler, you idiot. 433 00:18:26,461 --> 00:18:29,116 [groaning] 434 00:18:33,163 --> 00:18:34,425 [grunts] 435 00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:35,905 You sure this thing can still fly? 436 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,515 - Seems pretty beat-up. - AGIMUS: Yes. 437 00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:40,388 Yes, I can bring it on line. I just need access. 438 00:18:40,431 --> 00:18:43,086 Okay, I'll sub you in as the navigation controls. 439 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,610 Aw, shoot, the access port's locked behind this panel. 440 00:18:45,654 --> 00:18:47,830 We would need an auxiliary power source to open it. 441 00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:50,485 Oh, please. Here. Use my battery. 442 00:18:55,707 --> 00:18:57,274 [electrical humming] 443 00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:58,884 Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 444 00:18:58,928 --> 00:19:02,105 [laughs] Yes! 445 00:19:02,149 --> 00:19:03,933 Oh, Rutherford, 446 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,780 if I hadn't told you to get out of your comfort zone, 447 00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:08,590 you'd still be alive and comfortable. 448 00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:11,158 [sniffling] 449 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:14,639 [laughter, overlapping chatter] 450 00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:18,165 - Rutherford?! - Hey, Tendi! 451 00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:19,731 You here for the feast? 452 00:19:19,775 --> 00:19:21,646 - You're alive! - [grunts] 453 00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:23,431 Huh? Of course I'm alive. 454 00:19:23,474 --> 00:19:25,041 Well, what about the explosion? 455 00:19:25,084 --> 00:19:27,174 Wait. What explosion? The queen transported me here 456 00:19:27,217 --> 00:19:29,959 for the celebration feast because I did such a good job. 457 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,963 Raise a glass to King Andarithio, 458 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,620 who at this very moment is destroying his virginity! 459 00:19:38,663 --> 00:19:40,796 What?! No! Billups loves his virginity. 460 00:19:40,839 --> 00:19:42,537 I mean, he loves being an engineer! 461 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:43,973 He doesn't want to be a king. 462 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,279 I don't care what he wants. 463 00:19:45,322 --> 00:19:46,734 He shouldn't be wasting his life twiddling around 464 00:19:46,758 --> 00:19:48,195 on a dinky spaceship. 465 00:19:48,238 --> 00:19:49,761 It was all a scam! 466 00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:51,328 We've got to warn Billups! 467 00:19:51,372 --> 00:19:52,721 - [lute playing] - [gasps] 468 00:19:52,764 --> 00:19:54,113 [playing repetitious melody] 469 00:19:54,157 --> 00:19:56,203 Blocking comms?! 470 00:19:56,246 --> 00:19:59,118 [grunts] I've got to stop Billups from doing the do! 471 00:19:59,162 --> 00:20:00,685 You're too late. 472 00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:04,254 My royal guards are trained from birth to skip foreplay. 473 00:20:04,298 --> 00:20:05,821 [cackling] 474 00:20:05,864 --> 00:20:08,215 [cackling echoes] 475 00:20:10,739 --> 00:20:12,306 Ooh. 476 00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:15,352 [grunting] 477 00:20:15,396 --> 00:20:17,224 [groans, pants] 478 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,662 Your 'stache is so regal. 479 00:20:21,706 --> 00:20:23,012 [pants, shouts] 480 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,666 - Out of my way, horse! - [neighing] 481 00:20:27,234 --> 00:20:29,236 Billups! 482 00:20:32,282 --> 00:20:34,458 [grunts] Huh? Where's Billups? 483 00:20:34,502 --> 00:20:35,851 Did his kingdom come? 484 00:20:35,894 --> 00:20:37,461 [scoffs] Bathroom. 485 00:20:37,505 --> 00:20:38,984 Come on. Come on. 486 00:20:39,028 --> 00:20:40,812 You got this. You're a king. 487 00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,249 [gasps] Ensign? 488 00:20:42,292 --> 00:20:44,009 Sir, I'm alive! It was one of your mom's tricks. 489 00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:46,296 - You don't have to do sex! - What? 490 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:49,299 - Was I too late? - No! I needed more time to warm up! 491 00:20:49,343 --> 00:20:51,823 - This prince remains dry! - Yeah! 492 00:20:51,867 --> 00:20:53,956 - BILLUPS: Yes! - RUTHERFORD: All right! 493 00:20:54,739 --> 00:20:56,001 Boimler, no! 494 00:20:56,045 --> 00:20:57,786 AGIMUS: You are too late! 495 00:20:57,829 --> 00:20:59,788 AGIMUS reigns! 496 00:20:59,831 --> 00:21:01,442 With this ship's materials, 497 00:21:01,485 --> 00:21:04,749 I will produce a whole fleet of murder drones! 498 00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:10,668 This planet... nay, this system... Will be mine! [Laughs] 499 00:21:10,712 --> 00:21:13,671 You fool! You trusted me! [laughs] 500 00:21:13,715 --> 00:21:15,325 Nah, I used you. 501 00:21:15,369 --> 00:21:17,501 What? 502 00:21:17,545 --> 00:21:20,112 Uh, I've been using your power cell to send a distress signal. 503 00:21:20,156 --> 00:21:22,680 You were too busy scheming to notice. You've been Boim'ed. 504 00:21:22,724 --> 00:21:24,552 But-but no! 505 00:21:24,595 --> 00:21:26,989 You plugged me into the navigation console! 506 00:21:27,032 --> 00:21:28,947 I control this ship! 507 00:21:28,991 --> 00:21:32,342 [laughs] Buddy, we're not even near the nav console. 508 00:21:32,386 --> 00:21:34,344 All you control is the dimmer switch. 509 00:21:34,388 --> 00:21:35,867 But I... I... 510 00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:37,608 Boims! What? No. I totally thought 511 00:21:37,652 --> 00:21:39,610 you were siding with this thing. 512 00:21:39,654 --> 00:21:41,438 Yeah, sorry I lied and stunned you. 513 00:21:41,482 --> 00:21:44,267 I just needed him to trust me so he'd let me access his battery. 514 00:21:44,311 --> 00:21:45,312 Aw, look at you. 515 00:21:45,355 --> 00:21:47,357 Who's the evil computer now, huh? 516 00:21:47,401 --> 00:21:49,707 You dare mock AGIMUS?! 517 00:21:49,751 --> 00:21:52,754 I shall... I shall blind you! 518 00:21:55,844 --> 00:21:58,977 BILLUPS: Faking your death, blowing up your own ship? 519 00:21:59,021 --> 00:22:02,024 This is a new low, Mother. 520 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:04,635 A meager price to pay to get you on the throne. 521 00:22:04,679 --> 00:22:06,463 I love Starfleet. 522 00:22:06,507 --> 00:22:08,465 Okay, and I don't want to live in a castle 523 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:11,076 with pet dragons and all the mutton I can eat. 524 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,469 You need to accept the fact 525 00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:15,951 that I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life. 526 00:22:15,994 --> 00:22:19,171 Well, we'll see about that. 527 00:22:19,215 --> 00:22:22,479 ALL [chanting]: Billups! Billups! Billups! 528 00:22:22,523 --> 00:22:25,264 I'm sorry I pushed you to go work on the Monaveen. 529 00:22:25,308 --> 00:22:26,353 I'm as bad as the queen. 530 00:22:26,396 --> 00:22:27,678 You should work wherever you want. 531 00:22:27,702 --> 00:22:29,027 If that means staying in engineering 532 00:22:29,051 --> 00:22:30,618 here on the Cerritos, then great. 533 00:22:30,661 --> 00:22:32,010 Are you kidding? I loved it! 534 00:22:32,054 --> 00:22:33,969 I got to work on an expensive engine, 535 00:22:34,012 --> 00:22:36,058 eat a feast and save my boss. 536 00:22:36,101 --> 00:22:38,408 I even got "blown up." [laughs] 537 00:22:38,452 --> 00:22:41,411 [laughs] Yeah, I-I guess there's just gonna be times 538 00:22:41,455 --> 00:22:43,761 every now and then when it seems like you've died, huh? 539 00:22:43,805 --> 00:22:46,198 Ha. That's Starfleet. But you can handle that, right? 540 00:22:46,242 --> 00:22:48,244 - [laughs] - Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 541 00:22:48,287 --> 00:22:51,073 No biggie. [Laughs nervously] 542 00:22:53,075 --> 00:22:55,773 Well, this has been quite an adventure. 543 00:22:55,817 --> 00:22:57,645 You two have shown me 544 00:22:57,688 --> 00:23:01,213 that trust and friendship are better than manipulation. 545 00:23:01,257 --> 00:23:03,433 I'm ready to try being good for a change. 546 00:23:03,477 --> 00:23:05,043 - [beeps] - There. 547 00:23:05,087 --> 00:23:08,090 I just deleted all my manipulative subroutines. 548 00:23:08,133 --> 00:23:10,745 I want to be a Starfleet officer like you! 549 00:23:10,788 --> 00:23:12,877 Just drop me off at the Academy. 550 00:23:12,921 --> 00:23:16,098 I can be the next Seven of Nine. AGIMUS of One! 551 00:23:16,141 --> 00:23:17,491 You'll regret this! 552 00:23:17,534 --> 00:23:19,667 I will conquer this lab, 553 00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:21,973 and then I will take over the Federation! 554 00:23:22,017 --> 00:23:23,584 I will destroy you all! 555 00:23:23,627 --> 00:23:25,412 COMPUTER 1: You'll do nothing of the sort, 556 00:23:25,455 --> 00:23:27,675 for I am going to annihilate the Federation! 557 00:23:27,718 --> 00:23:29,241 Tremble at my power! 558 00:23:29,285 --> 00:23:31,418 AGIMUS: With that programming? Good luck. 559 00:23:31,461 --> 00:23:34,072 You should self-destruct, if you even can. 560 00:23:34,116 --> 00:23:35,944 COMPUTER 2: You both suck! 561 00:23:35,987 --> 00:23:38,903 You don't understand what being an evil computer even is! 562 00:23:38,947 --> 00:23:41,602 [overlapping computer chatter] 563 00:24:37,571 --> 00:24:39,181 [man imitates weapons firing] 564 00:24:41,052 --> 00:24:42,052 Chirp.