1 00:00:12,163 --> 00:00:16,124 Captain's log, stardate 58105.1. 2 00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:18,082 The Pakleds continue their unprovoked attacks 3 00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:19,736 on Federation trade routes. 4 00:00:19,779 --> 00:00:21,564 Seeking a cease-fire, theCerritos 5 00:00:21,607 --> 00:00:24,001 is on a diplomatic mission to the Pakled homeworld, 6 00:00:24,045 --> 00:00:26,395 which they call Pakled Planet. 7 00:00:26,438 --> 00:00:29,137 Starfleet Command entrusted me with this mission 8 00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:32,618 because of our experience with the Pakleds last year. 9 00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:36,274 Negotiating a cease-fire would be a huge achievement. 10 00:00:36,318 --> 00:00:39,103 If you keep doing Picard-level peace-brokering like this, 11 00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:40,757 they might give you an Enterprise. 12 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,628 Well, I don't know about that. 13 00:00:42,672 --> 00:00:44,891 Remember, it's just the Pakleds. 14 00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:46,980 This shouldn't be too complicated. 15 00:00:50,288 --> 00:00:52,203 Ambassador Grubdin. 16 00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:54,162 Welcome, Captain Janeway. 17 00:00:54,205 --> 00:00:57,513 Pakled Planet is big and strong. 18 00:00:57,556 --> 00:01:01,038 Right. Well, I'm actually Captain Freeman of the Cerritos. 19 00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:03,084 I'm here to discuss a cease-fire. 20 00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:04,650 Oh, I was misinformed. 21 00:01:04,694 --> 00:01:06,826 I do not have a big enough helmet 22 00:01:06,870 --> 00:01:08,524 to make cease-fires. 23 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:11,875 Okay. Well, then I need to talk to someone with a bigger helmet. 24 00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:14,312 - Stay back. 25 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,752 Guys, the prisoner Rumdar. 26 00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:22,581 He ran away from Pakled Planet to her ship. 27 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:25,802 You! Why did you steal Rumdar? 28 00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:28,021 I can assure you, we did no such thing. 29 00:01:28,065 --> 00:01:30,589 Ransom, is there a Pakled on my ship? 30 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,069 - That's an affirmative, Captain. 31 00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:34,593 This ship is strong. I can live here now. 32 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:37,074 - We think he's requesting asylum. No! 33 00:01:37,118 --> 00:01:39,207 Until she gives Rumdar back, 34 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,861 Janeway stays here! 35 00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:58,851 Guys, it's pretty cool that the captain 36 00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:01,289 - gets to negotiate peace, right? - Uh, yeah. 37 00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:03,639 - I'm sure she's thinking the same thing. 38 00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:06,468 Nothing ruins breakfast like a work assignment. 39 00:03:06,511 --> 00:03:08,905 Oh, no, anomaly consolidation duty. 40 00:03:08,948 --> 00:03:10,689 - Oh, yes! Ugh. 41 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,343 - I got it, too. - So did I. 42 00:03:12,387 --> 00:03:15,259 - What's anomaly consolidation? - You get to go around the ship 43 00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:16,956 and collect the bridge crew's research materials 44 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,958 - from their missions. - It's trash day. 45 00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:21,134 It's our bosses, who have accumulated all sorts of stuff, 46 00:03:21,178 --> 00:03:23,833 saying, "Hey, peons, come pick up our trash." 47 00:03:23,876 --> 00:03:26,183 Dangerous science trash that can't just get recycled 48 00:03:26,227 --> 00:03:27,793 in a matter recombinator. 49 00:03:27,837 --> 00:03:29,621 We have to pack it up and send it to a facility. 50 00:03:29,665 --> 00:03:31,667 Could be a nice break from our usual duties. 51 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:32,798 Maybe it'll be fun. 52 00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:34,539 Oh, sweet, sweet Tendi, no. 53 00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:37,455 ACD is the most degrading day of the year. 54 00:03:37,499 --> 00:03:39,283 Don't listen to her. This is gonna be great. 55 00:03:44,897 --> 00:03:46,421 Sorry. 56 00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:47,944 I-It's just the face that you made. 57 00:03:47,987 --> 00:03:49,424 I couldn't help it. 58 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:51,817 Okay, all right. We're all having so much fun. 59 00:03:51,861 --> 00:03:53,732 - At my expense. 60 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:56,257 Hey. Boimler, right? 61 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,171 Heard a lot of buzz about your time on the Titan. 62 00:03:58,215 --> 00:04:00,130 Oh, uh, Ensign Casey. Hi. 63 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,611 - You guys heard about that? - You're a legend. Listen, 64 00:04:02,654 --> 00:04:04,917 we've got this little club where we help each other rank up, 65 00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:06,658 and right now we're down a member. 66 00:04:06,702 --> 00:04:09,008 P'jok got promoted to the Ventura. 67 00:04:09,052 --> 00:04:11,794 - What? No way. - That's what the Redshirts do. 68 00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:13,622 We help each other land promotions. 69 00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:16,059 One day we'll all be captains. 70 00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:17,974 You call yourselves Redshirts? 71 00:04:18,017 --> 00:04:20,585 Cool name, right? Makes us sound invincible. 72 00:04:20,629 --> 00:04:22,195 But why would you want me to be one? I mean, I got 73 00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:24,328 the red shirt, but is there, like, a form I need to fill out? 74 00:04:24,372 --> 00:04:25,808 You served with Riker. 75 00:04:25,851 --> 00:04:27,810 That kind of experience is super valuable. 76 00:04:27,853 --> 00:04:29,812 Listen, there's gonna be an acting captain's duty 77 00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:32,423 up for grabs later today. Only us Redshirts know about it. 78 00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:34,773 Acting captain? Like, l-like on the bridge? 79 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,558 You tell us Riker stuff today, 80 00:04:36,601 --> 00:04:38,299 I'll get you in the running for the big chair. 81 00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:40,039 But... I have ACD. 82 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,867 Anomaly duty? No sweat. 83 00:04:41,911 --> 00:04:44,653 - We'll pull some strings, get you out of it. - Uh... 84 00:04:44,696 --> 00:04:47,003 - I don't know. It's awesome that you served 85 00:04:47,046 --> 00:04:48,744 on the Titan, but there has to be a reason 86 00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:50,093 you're back on the Cerritos. 87 00:04:50,136 --> 00:04:52,182 You don't carry yourself like a leader. 88 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,618 We could help you with that. 89 00:04:53,662 --> 00:04:55,664 - But if you're not interested... 90 00:04:55,707 --> 00:04:57,230 Uh... wait. 91 00:04:58,144 --> 00:05:00,146 - I'm in. Let's do this. 92 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:02,845 Excelsior. 93 00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:06,457 Unbelievable. Boimler's cozying up 94 00:05:06,501 --> 00:05:08,938 with those brownnosers to get out of trash day? 95 00:05:08,981 --> 00:05:11,723 - Such a great call. - More trash for the rest of us. 96 00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:14,726 - I smell adventure. 97 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,815 So, what has you seeking asylum? 98 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,861 Religious persecution? Leading a rebellion? 99 00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,341 Some sort of sex stuff? 100 00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:22,647 I want to see how the shields work. 101 00:05:24,127 --> 00:05:26,521 You want to see our top secret defensive schematics? 102 00:05:26,564 --> 00:05:29,088 Yeah, and your crimson force field, too. 103 00:05:29,132 --> 00:05:32,004 Uh, I will see if it's operational. 104 00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:34,311 You getting "Bazminti when he pulled back the veil" vibes 105 00:05:34,355 --> 00:05:36,879 - from this guy? - Oh, yeah. Captain Freeman? 106 00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:39,577 Our Pakled refugee appears to be more of a Pakled spy. 107 00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:41,927 What?! He hasn't gotten anything, has he? 108 00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:43,929 - No, I think we'll be okay. 109 00:05:43,973 --> 00:05:46,149 He just took a photo of his own foot. 110 00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:48,151 -Hmm, this could work to our advantage. - Oh. Ah! 111 00:05:48,194 --> 00:05:50,414 Maybe he'll reveal something about the attacks. 112 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:51,676 Keep him talking. 113 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,375 - On it. Oh! 114 00:05:55,985 --> 00:05:57,943 Ransom's always going on fun away missions. 115 00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,729 You just know he'll have crazy anomalies we can check out. 116 00:06:00,772 --> 00:06:04,210 Oh, great. A pile of unlabeled crystals. 117 00:06:04,254 --> 00:06:06,474 You're supposed to keep stuff like this in a lab. 118 00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,040 Ignoring protocol. 119 00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,868 Yeah, one of the perks of being a commander. 120 00:06:11,957 --> 00:06:13,437 Oh, man! 121 00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:15,439 Ooh, this is neat. 122 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:16,962 You can tell from the occipital bone 123 00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:18,790 that this was one big froggy. 124 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,618 Tendi, whoa, easy. I think that's from the planet 125 00:06:20,662 --> 00:06:21,880 where everything evolved all weird. 126 00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,143 Uh... 127 00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:25,275 Oh! 128 00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:27,625 - Aah! Whoa! 129 00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,148 Whoa, Rutherford, you're blowing up. 130 00:06:29,192 --> 00:06:31,455 - It's altering his biomatrix! Whoa, whoa! 131 00:06:31,499 --> 00:06:32,891 - I got a big ole body. 132 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,240 - Stop moving around. - Oh! 133 00:06:34,284 --> 00:06:35,328 - I can't stop. 134 00:06:35,372 --> 00:06:37,287 I'm big beyond belief. Oh, no! 135 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,245 Tendi, grab the red vial. 136 00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:40,595 Got it. 137 00:06:40,638 --> 00:06:41,770 Smear that crap on his nose. 138 00:06:47,384 --> 00:06:49,212 Ugh. - You just experienced 139 00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:51,388 - full molecular engorgement in a matter of seconds! 140 00:06:51,432 --> 00:06:52,998 Did it feel amazing? 141 00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:55,479 Hey, Boimler, how often did Riker clean his trombone? 142 00:06:55,523 --> 00:06:56,654 - Oh! 143 00:06:56,698 --> 00:06:57,786 Oh, constantly. 144 00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,135 It was actually kind of disruptive. 145 00:06:59,178 --> 00:07:02,443 I need to learn to blow something brass. 146 00:07:02,486 --> 00:07:03,792 Okay. 147 00:07:03,835 --> 00:07:05,881 So, that was our top secret Starfleet gift shop. 148 00:07:05,924 --> 00:07:09,885 Next, how about we show you the, uh, high-security juice bar? 149 00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:12,670 No! Now I want to see the warp core. 150 00:07:12,714 --> 00:07:14,759 Sure, sure. We'll get you there, big guy. 151 00:07:14,803 --> 00:07:16,848 We're not exactly dealing with the Tal Shiar here. 152 00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:20,069 Let's see if we can get him to tell us about their systems. 153 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,246 Wait. 154 00:07:23,289 --> 00:07:25,857 Where'd he go? Computer, locate Pakled refugee. 155 00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:27,816 No Pakled detected. - What? 156 00:07:27,859 --> 00:07:30,079 Did he leave the ship? Did he somehow cloak himself? 157 00:07:30,122 --> 00:07:31,994 -Unknown. - Zinda, his eyes red. 158 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,212 I'll check engineering. 159 00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:41,482 Okay, let's see what the next awesome anomalies are. 160 00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,491 Um... 161 00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:00,544 Oh. 162 00:08:10,772 --> 00:08:12,948 You want a rotten mushfroot? 163 00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,558 Uh, no, thank you. 164 00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:17,169 I just want to talk cease-fire with whomever's in charge. 165 00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:20,521 Oh! Janeway turned down mushfroot. 166 00:08:22,392 --> 00:08:26,352 Her Mushesty the queen! 167 00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:28,529 Ah, Your Highness, allow me to... 168 00:08:28,572 --> 00:08:31,096 You can't kill Rumdar. Rumdar is our prisoner. 169 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,707 We will kill Rumdar. 170 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,839 I can assure you, Rumdar's in good hands. 171 00:08:34,883 --> 00:08:37,146 Nobody is killing Rumdar. 172 00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:39,975 Prove it. I want to talk to Rumdar. 173 00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:43,108 Ransom, put the Pakled refugee on the line. 174 00:08:43,152 --> 00:08:45,981 Uh, actually, we've temporarily lost track of him. 175 00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:47,330 What?! 176 00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,811 Rumdar is, uh, in the bathroom. 177 00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:53,597 But he said that you should negotiate a cease-fire. 178 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,600 Oh, I don't have a big enough helmet to do that. 179 00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:58,428 Are you me? 180 00:08:59,995 --> 00:09:01,605 Boimler, 181 00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:03,041 you need to look like a leader 182 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,608 if you want people to treat you like one. 183 00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,610 First, you've got to fix this posture. 184 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:08,046 You're like this 185 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:11,093 when you need to be like this. 186 00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:12,921 Oh, wow. 187 00:09:12,964 --> 00:09:15,314 I didn't realize my spine went that far. 188 00:09:15,358 --> 00:09:17,534 - That's new. - Now, this outfit? Oof. 189 00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:19,101 This is not a good look. 190 00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:21,625 We all wear this. It's a uniform. 191 00:09:21,669 --> 00:09:24,280 - The captain literally wears the same thing, and she's... - Right now 192 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:25,629 this uniform is wearing you. 193 00:09:25,673 --> 00:09:27,457 Easy to fix with a few modifications. 194 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,242 - Ooh, did Riker modify his uniform? - What? No. 195 00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:31,940 I mean, I guess they had to put a lot of extra room 196 00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:33,681 in his pants. For his legs, I mean. 197 00:09:33,724 --> 00:09:35,247 'Cause he's tall. 198 00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:36,858 - tall guy, big legs. - Oh, my God, your hair. 199 00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:38,511 Wow, I didn't even take in the hair. 200 00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:41,123 I like my hair. I'm a cutie. This is good hair. 201 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,255 But would you follow it into battle? 202 00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:47,085 Maybe just a trim? 203 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,174 Introducing the new and improved 204 00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:51,655 Bradward Boimler. 205 00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:55,964 Oh, I feel amazing. 206 00:09:56,007 --> 00:09:57,792 Oh, look at these shoulders! Damn. 207 00:09:57,835 --> 00:10:00,316 Starfleet royalty. 208 00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:02,971 - Oh! Aw. - Aah! 209 00:10:03,014 --> 00:10:04,755 Boimler? You look amazing. 210 00:10:04,799 --> 00:10:06,801 Thank you. The Redshirts gave me a makeover. 211 00:10:06,844 --> 00:10:08,541 I-I might have a shot at acting captain. 212 00:10:08,585 --> 00:10:11,196 Whoa, is that a Retroovian flask? 213 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,720 Uh, you know it. 214 00:10:12,763 --> 00:10:14,243 Careful. Those can release a gelatinous spray 215 00:10:14,286 --> 00:10:15,461 - that traps you in this... Yeah. 216 00:10:15,505 --> 00:10:17,768 - We know. 217 00:10:20,075 --> 00:10:21,424 Oh, uh, got to go. But I want to hear 218 00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:22,730 everything later. Watch out for that spray. 219 00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:25,384 - It'll mess you up. - Damn it, the Nanobots. 220 00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:26,908 Billups can calculate warp variance, 221 00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:29,171 but he can't remember to tighten the lid on a jar. 222 00:10:29,214 --> 00:10:32,130 Aw, but come on. How often do we get to be face-to-face 223 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,828 with these tiny terrors? 224 00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:36,569 they're not full-sized robots, right? Right? 225 00:10:36,613 --> 00:10:38,746 Tendi, this stuff is eating my fingerprints. 226 00:10:38,789 --> 00:10:42,097 There's no bright side! Stop trying to make this fun. 227 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,751 - But... - What is your deal, okay? 228 00:10:43,794 --> 00:10:47,232 Every day isn't gonna be some pristine, exploratory adventure. 229 00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:48,930 Sometimes it's work, and it sucks. 230 00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:50,061 Get used to it! 231 00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,281 Okay. Sorry. 232 00:10:52,324 --> 00:10:53,978 Where could he be? 233 00:10:54,022 --> 00:10:56,067 He's giant and brown. 234 00:10:57,025 --> 00:10:59,592 Being captain is the role of a lifetime. 235 00:10:59,636 --> 00:11:02,465 Leader. Fighter. 236 00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:03,814 Lover. 237 00:11:03,858 --> 00:11:05,424 The captain needs to always be prepared 238 00:11:05,468 --> 00:11:08,123 to give a rousing speech, so go ahead. 239 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:09,733 [rolls "R"]: Rouse them. 240 00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:12,214 Uh, what am I supposed to speech about? 241 00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:13,345 Ooh! A temporal rift. 242 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:14,695 Oh, oh! With a plasma grid. 243 00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:16,261 And the replicators are broken. 244 00:11:16,305 --> 00:11:19,569 Sounds like a crew that could use some inspiration. 245 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,049 Right now? 246 00:11:21,092 --> 00:11:22,485 Okay. Uh... 247 00:11:22,528 --> 00:11:24,792 Um, attention, crew. Um, 248 00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:27,229 I'm your captain. I'm Captain Boimler. 249 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:30,058 Uh, we've got a plasma grid and a temporal rift. 250 00:11:30,101 --> 00:11:32,713 Sorry, you said "temporal rift," right? 251 00:11:32,756 --> 00:11:34,453 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 252 00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:37,892 And, uh, lots of danger. But as sure as, uh, 253 00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:41,199 this is my captain's chair, um, 254 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,897 you can count on me 255 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:44,550 'cause I'm your captain. 256 00:11:44,594 --> 00:11:46,291 Yes, sirree. 257 00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:48,772 We should mutiny. 258 00:11:48,816 --> 00:11:50,600 Sorry, sorry, no, no, no. I know that wasn't good. 259 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,777 It's just this isn't the same as actually being on the bridge. 260 00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:56,301 The bridge is wherever you are. 261 00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:58,216 Close your eyes, think about Riker, 262 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,045 and say what he would say. From the heart. 263 00:12:01,089 --> 00:12:03,178 -His heart. 264 00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,920 Look, I may not know exactly what we're up against, 265 00:12:05,963 --> 00:12:08,836 but I do know that in this, our darkest hour, 266 00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:10,359 I'm grateful. 267 00:12:10,402 --> 00:12:14,232 Grateful to have a ship and a crew I trust with my life. 268 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,060 Now, I'll be honest. There's no guarantee 269 00:12:16,104 --> 00:12:18,367 we're gonna get out of this. But if we do, it'll be 270 00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:21,239 because of your combined talent and dedication. 271 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,894 It's been the honor of my life to serve as your captain. 272 00:12:23,938 --> 00:12:25,548 But we're not dead yet, 273 00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:28,203 so how about we go in and kick some ass. 274 00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:30,466 Red alert! Take us in. 275 00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:33,295 Now, 276 00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:34,905 that sounds like a captain. 277 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,606 Wow, even Dr. Migleemo has stuff? 278 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:41,825 I didn't know he even went on missions. 279 00:12:41,869 --> 00:12:43,261 That's a pile of random junk. 280 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,002 - Come on. Even you have to admit that. - No. 281 00:12:45,046 --> 00:12:47,396 And honestly, I'm getting tired of you guys whining all day. 282 00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:49,572 If you're so over anomaly collection, 283 00:12:49,615 --> 00:12:51,095 then I'll just do it myself. 284 00:12:51,139 --> 00:12:52,531 - Okay. Works for me. - Oh, great idea. 285 00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:57,841 Okay, let's see. There's this dusty goggles thing. 286 00:12:57,885 --> 00:13:00,104 Ooh, half of some sort of sword. 287 00:13:00,148 --> 00:13:02,498 - You guys are really missing out! Mm-hmm. 288 00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:04,413 Look, he's throwing out 289 00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,458 a perfectly good storybook. 290 00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:14,162 Oh, it's one of those energy field books 291 00:13:14,205 --> 00:13:15,250 that makes stories come to life. 292 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:16,599 Come here! 293 00:13:16,642 --> 00:13:19,254 Get back in this book! 294 00:13:20,255 --> 00:13:21,256 - Oh! 295 00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:23,345 Huh? 296 00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:25,826 - Oh, no. 297 00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:27,262 - Uh... - Crap, crap, crap! - Slug! 298 00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:29,786 - No! 299 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:32,615 - Tendi! - Ugh! Okay, we just got to find the right hypospray. 300 00:13:32,658 --> 00:13:33,921 - Uh, hang tight, Tendi! 301 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:35,923 Don't get digested! 302 00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:38,969 - Uh, uh... Ha! 303 00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:47,151 - Ugh. 304 00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,982 - Oh, my gosh. Are you okay? - D'Vana? 305 00:13:52,026 --> 00:13:55,290 You were right. 306 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:58,771 Anomaly consolidation day is the worst. 307 00:13:58,815 --> 00:14:00,817 Hey, we've all... I mean, who among us 308 00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:02,993 hasn't been pooped out by an alien creature? 309 00:14:03,037 --> 00:14:04,865 - It is not a... - Don't touch me! 310 00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:09,347 Captain, this is going sideways. 311 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,262 I recommend we beam out now. 312 00:14:11,306 --> 00:14:12,829 No. We have to make this work, 313 00:14:12,873 --> 00:14:15,484 or it'll turn into a big, brown, Pakled smear on my record. 314 00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,923 I am King Pakled. 315 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:23,013 - Finally. It is an honor to meet you, sir. 316 00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:27,626 I am emperor of the Pakleds. 317 00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:31,108 - Okay. Well, then, it's an honor to m... 318 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:35,460 Rebelution! 319 00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:47,559 The big-helmeted Pakleds 320 00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,997 will no longer control us! 321 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,563 Ooh. 322 00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:55,176 I am now Pakled leader. 323 00:14:55,219 --> 00:14:57,961 Behold my giant helmet! 324 00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,789 - He is strong. 325 00:15:06,578 --> 00:15:09,146 You know, I was a little skeptical at first, 326 00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,496 but I really am feeling way more captainy than usual. 327 00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,977 - Now you have to start living like one, too. - Oh, you mean, 328 00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:15,718 like sitting in a centered chair all day or...? 329 00:15:15,761 --> 00:15:18,199 Nothing tells you about a captain more than the officers 330 00:15:18,242 --> 00:15:19,765 they've chosen to have at their side. 331 00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,245 That's true in your social life 332 00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:23,247 - as much as it is on the bridge. - Oh. 333 00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:25,423 I've got that covered. My friends are awesome. 334 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,816 Look, that's them right there. 335 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,951 They've been consolidating anomalies all day. 336 00:15:30,994 --> 00:15:33,692 - It's pretty cool, right? - No, not cool. 337 00:15:33,736 --> 00:15:35,303 Those three are always elbow-deep 338 00:15:35,346 --> 00:15:36,957 in some kind of slime. 339 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,002 Yeah, we work in Starfleet. I mean, slime's a given. 340 00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:41,657 No, we work in Starfleet. 341 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,311 - They work for Starfleet. 342 00:15:43,354 --> 00:15:46,053 Okay, hold on. They're the same rank as you or me. 343 00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:47,793 And while we've been "playing captain" all day, 344 00:15:47,837 --> 00:15:49,665 they've been doing real work to help the ship. 345 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,059 This isn't a friendship. It's a starship. 346 00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,147 Are you a star 347 00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:55,149 - or not? - What? 348 00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:56,846 The bridge crew brought in this crap, 349 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,935 they should clean it up. I'm not their mom. 350 00:15:58,979 --> 00:16:01,198 Uh, I don't know. It's not that bad. 351 00:16:01,242 --> 00:16:03,766 It was the worst! I hate this stupid ship. 352 00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:06,247 Whoa, you love the Cerritos. 353 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,031 Ugh, I must have sounded so stupid. 354 00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:09,772 I thought we were gonna have so much fun 355 00:16:09,815 --> 00:16:11,078 picking up the trash. 356 00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:13,515 Ha! I even volunteered us for it. 357 00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:15,386 - Wait, you did? - Why? 358 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:17,432 You guys were always sad that we don't go on cool missions. 359 00:16:17,475 --> 00:16:18,955 So Ensign Genius over here 360 00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,000 figured it would be fun 361 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:21,523 to get closer to the action. 362 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,307 But you guys were right. It sucked! 363 00:16:23,351 --> 00:16:24,917 And being lower decks sucks! 364 00:16:24,961 --> 00:16:27,050 I wish I was still on Orion! 365 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,573 Uh, Tendi, that cube's kind of... 366 00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:30,749 Today has been totally degrading! 367 00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:32,969 Uh, maybe-maybe put down the cube before you... 368 00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:40,890 - We got a scorpion here! 369 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,326 What was that cube? 370 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,719 There has to be a way to reverse it. 371 00:16:44,676 --> 00:16:46,374 I'm getting tired of you guys 372 00:16:46,417 --> 00:16:48,767 whining all day! 373 00:17:02,607 --> 00:17:03,869 Is that Tendi? 374 00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:06,220 We got to do something. 375 00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:08,613 You're right. The crew depends on us. 376 00:17:08,657 --> 00:17:12,400 The Starfleet manual defines "danger" as "a force 377 00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:15,142 - which causes or tends to cause harm." - It is in times of doubt... 378 00:17:15,185 --> 00:17:17,231 - A ship that encounters no rough wind 379 00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:19,189 is a ship that's never sailed at all. 380 00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:20,973 Are any of you actually gonna do something? 381 00:17:21,017 --> 00:17:23,150 We're doing it. We're inspiring the crew. 382 00:17:23,193 --> 00:17:25,152 We are the crew! 383 00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:27,415 Tendi, 384 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:29,243 I know you're in there. You're gonna be okay. 385 00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:33,595 What happened? 386 00:17:33,638 --> 00:17:35,075 Did she touch a mysterious orb? 387 00:17:35,118 --> 00:17:36,467 What? No. It was a cube. 388 00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:38,078 Oh! Uh, I bet it was an Ataxian mood shifter. 389 00:17:38,121 --> 00:17:39,340 I've got this. 390 00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:41,429 Computer, big bowl of beans, 391 00:17:41,472 --> 00:17:42,952 hot. 392 00:17:45,128 --> 00:17:47,217 Hey, Tendi. Whoa! I sure hope 393 00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:49,611 I don't spill these beans on my... 394 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:51,700 Aah! Aah, God. 395 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,356 Computer, birthday cake, lit candles, 396 00:17:55,399 --> 00:17:57,009 various temperatures. 397 00:17:57,053 --> 00:17:58,924 Wow. 398 00:17:58,968 --> 00:18:01,144 It sure is hard carrying this birthday cake 399 00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:03,755 with all this bean slime on my... 400 00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:06,280 - What the hell is he doing? 401 00:18:06,323 --> 00:18:07,498 - Shut up. Look. 402 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:09,152 Oh, no, and now the candles 403 00:18:09,196 --> 00:18:11,285 have lit my uniform on fire. What a predicament. 404 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,116 It's working. 405 00:18:16,159 --> 00:18:17,769 Her emotional armor is weakening. 406 00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:22,948 Computer, taffy, honey, shrimp, 407 00:18:22,992 --> 00:18:24,472 soda, corn, steak, chicken nugget, 408 00:18:24,515 --> 00:18:25,864 crispy lemon rock candy, 409 00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:27,866 chili, gravy, chocolate sundae! Hot! 410 00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:37,572 That was such a waste of reassembled proteins. 411 00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:39,443 It really was. 412 00:18:39,487 --> 00:18:41,706 You okay? - Yeah. 413 00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,186 Geez, I was really out of control. 414 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,666 Thanks for saving me. 415 00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:47,756 Oh, of course. That's what we do. 416 00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:56,112 Oh, no. How long were we out? 417 00:18:56,156 --> 00:18:57,548 Rumdar could be anywhere. 418 00:18:57,592 --> 00:18:59,420 We never should have underestimated him. 419 00:18:59,463 --> 00:19:01,291 Shaka? 420 00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:06,253 Maybe we didn't underestimate him. 421 00:19:07,297 --> 00:19:10,039 Holy 422 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,868 I don't know how he was able to survive in the vacuum of space, 423 00:19:12,911 --> 00:19:16,480 - but he's totally fine. - Uh, Pakleds are strong. 424 00:19:16,524 --> 00:19:18,961 How did you get outside in the first place? 425 00:19:19,004 --> 00:19:22,182 I went to the bathroom. When I pressed the flush button, 426 00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,749 I got shot out of a little hatch. 427 00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:26,403 Are you sure you weren't in an air lock? 428 00:19:26,447 --> 00:19:29,580 Can I have all your codes now? 429 00:19:29,624 --> 00:19:32,757 Get him out of here. 430 00:19:35,282 --> 00:19:37,675 Janeway, die! Janeway, die! 431 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,809 Ah, Rumdar returns. 432 00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:43,464 Hi, everybody. 433 00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:44,900 We tricked you, Janeway. 434 00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:46,423 We never wanted peace. 435 00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:49,339 Rumdar was a spy. 436 00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:51,123 What did you learn, spy? 437 00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:53,952 The Enterprise has the biggest bathrooms ever, 438 00:19:53,996 --> 00:19:56,390 and she is not Captain Janeway. 439 00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,174 - She is Captain Freeman! 440 00:19:58,218 --> 00:20:00,611 - That's what I've been telling you. 441 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:02,657 I tricked you. 442 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,660 And I didn't give up any information, either. 443 00:20:05,703 --> 00:20:07,314 I'm a good spy. 444 00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:10,708 Well, yes, you are amazing. 445 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,668 I just wish I knew what information you kept secret 446 00:20:13,711 --> 00:20:16,279 so I could know how amazing you are. 447 00:20:16,323 --> 00:20:19,108 I didn't tell you anything about our big plan 448 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,850 to smuggle a Varuvian bomb onto Earth. 449 00:20:21,893 --> 00:20:23,634 - Is that right? 450 00:20:23,678 --> 00:20:28,248 Oh, Rumdar, you truly are a master spy. 451 00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:30,293 Two to beam up. 452 00:20:32,077 --> 00:20:33,862 Wait a minute. 453 00:20:33,905 --> 00:20:36,778 You just beat Captain Janeway! 454 00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:40,347 Rumdar! Rumdar! 455 00:20:43,611 --> 00:20:46,570 Sorry I requested anomaly consolidation duty 456 00:20:46,614 --> 00:20:48,964 - and, you know, went all scorpion. - Don't apologize. 457 00:20:49,007 --> 00:20:50,835 The truth is, collecting weird space crap 458 00:20:50,879 --> 00:20:52,533 is part of the fun of Starfleet. 459 00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:54,448 Ah, we were kind of being punks all day. 460 00:20:54,491 --> 00:20:56,101 We should have fed off your enthusiasm, 461 00:20:56,145 --> 00:20:57,929 not tried to tamp it down. 462 00:20:57,973 --> 00:20:59,757 Yeah, you know what? The best anomaly today 463 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,324 was all your silver linings. 464 00:21:01,368 --> 00:21:04,066 - And that skull thing. - Aw, thanks, guys. 465 00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:05,850 Oh, I still smell 466 00:21:05,894 --> 00:21:07,852 like slug-digested scorpion, don't I? 467 00:21:07,896 --> 00:21:10,072 Yeah. The smell of adventure. 468 00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:15,033 Whoever Ransom picks, remember to keep your cool. 469 00:21:15,077 --> 00:21:16,557 I don't want anyone freaking out. 470 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,342 Sorry, you can't come with us. 471 00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:20,952 That move you pulled in the mess hall 472 00:21:20,996 --> 00:21:23,041 - proves you don't belong in the Redshirts. - Hey. 473 00:21:23,085 --> 00:21:25,435 - My friend was in trouble. - You made a fool of yourself 474 00:21:25,479 --> 00:21:27,785 to make a bug laugh. It was shameful. 475 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,221 All right, you know what's shameful? 476 00:21:29,265 --> 00:21:31,354 Trying to build a persona by copying other captains. 477 00:21:31,398 --> 00:21:33,356 You think Riker did that? 478 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,793 You guys are wasting your time on this Redshirt stuff. 479 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,230 - Be your own captains. 480 00:21:38,274 --> 00:21:40,232 Cute speech. I'm sure it'll play great 481 00:21:40,276 --> 00:21:43,497 on the lower decks. Come on, guys. 482 00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:46,500 - Guys? - I, um, I think I'm gonna 483 00:21:46,543 --> 00:21:49,546 take a break from the Redshirts, focus on my duties. 484 00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:50,721 - Yeah. - Yeah. 485 00:21:50,765 --> 00:21:52,593 Fine. I'll try to remember you 486 00:21:52,636 --> 00:21:54,682 when I'm boldly going and you're not. 487 00:21:54,725 --> 00:21:57,685 Sir, I'd like to nominate myself for the acting captain position. 488 00:21:57,728 --> 00:21:58,947 - Huh? - I'm the best candidate 489 00:21:58,990 --> 00:22:00,731 to lead the Cerritos to victory. 490 00:22:00,775 --> 00:22:02,516 Oh. I don't care. Sure. 491 00:22:02,559 --> 00:22:04,256 Oh, my God, really? Sir, 492 00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:06,694 thank you. Sir, I won't let you down. 493 00:22:06,737 --> 00:22:09,044 Quick thinking in the mess today, Mr. Boimler. 494 00:22:09,087 --> 00:22:10,524 You showed some real leadership. 495 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:12,221 Thank you, sir. 496 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:15,485 Hey, do you want to catch a Winger Bingston show sometime? 497 00:22:15,529 --> 00:22:17,313 Now, that guy can deliver a speech. 498 00:22:17,357 --> 00:22:18,532 You ever see his one-man show 499 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:19,794 where he played all of Jupiter's moons? 500 00:22:19,837 --> 00:22:22,536 Just got off the comms with Starfleet. 501 00:22:22,579 --> 00:22:24,146 Sounds like we did a great job. 502 00:22:24,189 --> 00:22:27,192 - I think that deserves a drink. - Count me in. 503 00:22:27,236 --> 00:22:30,282 - Acting Captain, you have the conn. 504 00:22:39,204 --> 00:22:41,381 New shift on deck. Get out of my chair! 505 00:22:41,424 --> 00:22:43,557 Aah! Thank you. This-this was a great honor. 506 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,733 Go clean up Air Lock 17. 507 00:22:45,776 --> 00:22:48,388 Pakled did something unspeakable in there. 508 00:22:48,431 --> 00:22:49,867 Yes, sir. 509 00:22:52,566 --> 00:22:54,045 Ooh! And then 510 00:22:54,089 --> 00:22:55,917 he deflated back into regular-sized Rutherford. 511 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,876 Big-body Rutherford? Aw, I missed all the good stuff. 512 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,269 Not all the good stuff. 513 00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:02,010 Snagged this baby from Shaxs's pile. 514 00:23:02,053 --> 00:23:04,795 Oh, no way. This is a submanifold casting stone. 515 00:23:04,839 --> 00:23:06,797 - A what? - We can use it 516 00:23:06,841 --> 00:23:08,146 to broadcast our voices to other planets. 517 00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:09,626 - What's that good for? 518 00:23:09,670 --> 00:23:10,801 Yeah, like, what are we gonna do? 519 00:23:10,845 --> 00:23:12,847 Prank call Armus? 520 00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:20,332 I wish I had someone to torture. 521 00:23:20,376 --> 00:23:22,422 Hey, Armus! Shut up, shut up. 522 00:23:22,465 --> 00:23:25,120 You, uh, you look like a big bag of crap. 523 00:23:25,163 --> 00:23:26,948 Who said that? Show yourself. 524 00:23:26,991 --> 00:23:29,951 I am Armus. This is my domain. 525 00:23:29,994 --> 00:23:31,866 Yeah, we already know you're Armus, dummy. 526 00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:33,041 Come and find us. 527 00:23:33,084 --> 00:23:34,608 We're touching your stuff. 528 00:23:34,651 --> 00:23:35,870 What stuff? Stop that! 529 00:23:35,913 --> 00:23:38,176 When I find you, I'm gonna kill you 530 00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:39,917 with a flake of my power! 531 00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:42,920 I am a skin of evil. 532 00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:44,313 More like a puddle of 533 00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:46,576 Damn you! 534 00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:48,638 Chirp.