1 00:00:14,426 --> 00:00:18,082 And repairs are complete. Should we head back in? 2 00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:21,477 Wow, would you look at that? 3 00:00:23,348 --> 00:00:25,220 Captain, we just received a distress call 4 00:00:25,263 --> 00:00:26,482 from the Bakersfield. 5 00:00:26,525 --> 00:00:28,397 They're caught in a temporal causality loop. 6 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,616 Wait a minute, I'm getting the same distress call again. 7 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,357 Hold on. And now again. 8 00:00:32,401 --> 00:00:33,924 Sounds like a time loop all right. 9 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,621 We'd better hurry. Warp me. 10 00:00:35,665 --> 00:00:37,232 A view like this makes you realize 11 00:00:37,275 --> 00:00:38,798 it doesn't matter what deck you work on. 12 00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:40,278 We're all in it together. 13 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,152 And they left us. 14 00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,979 They left us. How much oxygen do we have? 15 00:00:46,023 --> 00:00:47,503 A lot, a little? Ballpark? 16 00:00:47,546 --> 00:00:49,113 Oh, I'm sure they'll turn back at any second 17 00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:51,811 and we'll have a good laugh about it. 18 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:01,343 See, guys? We're laughing. Ha-ha-ha-ha. 19 00:02:14,764 --> 00:02:17,941 There we go, nothing a little lung rejuvenation won't fix. 20 00:02:17,984 --> 00:02:19,334 See? You're fine. 21 00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:20,857 Oh, yeah, act like it's not a big deal 22 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,120 that you left us to die in the void. 23 00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:24,643 This all could have been avoided if you'd 24 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,298 followed protocol and signed out your magnet boots. 25 00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:28,560 Or maybe that wouldn't have even mattered 26 00:02:28,604 --> 00:02:31,128 since lower decks are so expendable to you. 27 00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:34,697 Ridiculous! We're all equals on this ship, right? 28 00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:36,960 - Uh, they sleep in a hallway. - Oh. 29 00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:38,309 I'm not going to argue with you, Beckett. 30 00:02:38,353 --> 00:02:40,137 I have to make impossible life-and-death decisions 31 00:02:40,181 --> 00:02:41,617 every day. 32 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,141 Yeah, no kidding, it's always our life or death. 33 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:46,970 Ditch the attitude! A Starfleet drill instructor 34 00:02:47,013 --> 00:02:49,407 is going to be testing the crew later today, 35 00:02:49,451 --> 00:02:52,236 and I don't need you messing up our score 36 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,151 because you've got a chip on your shoulder. 37 00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:55,979 Oh, great, yeah, well, I hope one of the drills 38 00:02:56,022 --> 00:02:59,461 tests to see if anyone on the bridge is a giant piece of... 39 00:02:59,504 --> 00:03:02,420 I heard the drill instructor's Pandronian. 40 00:03:02,464 --> 00:03:04,727 You know they can split their bodies into three parts? 41 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,947 - I thought I was a triple threat. - Ugh. 42 00:03:07,991 --> 00:03:09,558 Drills, what a waste of time. 43 00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:12,909 I'd even take real work over this, like fake pretend work. 44 00:03:12,952 --> 00:03:15,825 Good morning, Cerritos! 45 00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,914 This one is Shari Yn Yem, 46 00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:20,525 your friendly Starfleet drill administrator. 47 00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:23,702 Like many of you, this one started from the bottom, 48 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:27,445 but with hard work, and plenty of drills, this one is now... 49 00:03:27,489 --> 00:03:28,968 at the top! 50 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,017 These simulator holopods are each programed 51 00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:36,585 with individualized drills based on 52 00:03:36,628 --> 00:03:39,762 situations other Starfleet crews have experienced. 53 00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,852 Every pod has a certain amount of points you can earn 54 00:03:42,895 --> 00:03:44,288 for doing a good job. 55 00:03:44,332 --> 00:03:46,508 Everyone's score is displayed right here, 56 00:03:46,551 --> 00:03:49,511 so you can see how you stack up against your fellow crew. 57 00:03:49,554 --> 00:03:52,078 Almost seems unfair to make them compete with us. 58 00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:53,819 Gonna be a piece of cake. 59 00:03:53,863 --> 00:03:55,647 This one will be flipping your ranks. 60 00:03:55,691 --> 00:03:59,303 Low-level officers will be given command of the bridge, 61 00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:02,611 while senior officers will be placed on the lower decks! 62 00:04:02,654 --> 00:04:04,308 Excuse me. What?! 63 00:04:04,352 --> 00:04:07,093 Well, there's no better way to evaluate a crew's readiness 64 00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,791 than from the bottom up, Captain. 65 00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:11,968 - Or should I say, Ensign? 66 00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:15,232 Oh, yeah! This rules! 67 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,365 I get to be senior medical officer! 68 00:04:17,408 --> 00:04:20,063 Ooh, baby, I'm chief engineer! 69 00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:21,194 Good day to you, Captain Boimler. 70 00:04:21,238 --> 00:04:23,849 Good day to you, Captain Mariner. 71 00:04:23,893 --> 00:04:25,503 They actually think they're going to be able 72 00:04:25,547 --> 00:04:27,026 to handle our jobs? 73 00:04:27,070 --> 00:04:28,550 This is gonna be rich. 74 00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:30,378 All right, deck 12, follow the yellow line. 75 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:32,075 Move it along, lower decks. 76 00:04:32,118 --> 00:04:33,555 - Aw, son of a... 77 00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:38,037 - All right, let's get into it. 78 00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:39,996 I wanna rack up some points early so I can spend 79 00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:42,433 the rest of the day soaking in my commander's tub. 80 00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:45,610 Mirror Universe Encounter. - Mirror universe? 81 00:04:45,654 --> 00:04:49,701 This is easy. Yeah. I can pretend to be evil. Ha-ha-ha-ha! 82 00:04:49,745 --> 00:04:52,313 As captain, you must infiltrate the Terran Empire 83 00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:55,185 and find a way back to your own dimension. 84 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,796 Long live the Empire. 85 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:01,409 I love to hate. Whattup, Migleemo? 86 00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:03,889 - Yikes. 87 00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:08,241 Ugh, nothing makes me hornier than torturing someone. 88 00:05:08,285 --> 00:05:09,765 I'm horny all the time. 89 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,420 And being horny always gets me in the mood to torture. 90 00:05:12,463 --> 00:05:14,900 You can lose a whole day to that cycle. 91 00:05:14,944 --> 00:05:17,903 Okay, screw finding an ally, let's take over the ship and see 92 00:05:17,947 --> 00:05:19,949 if we can dismantle the Terran Empire from the inside. 93 00:05:19,992 --> 00:05:22,778 Deviation from mission parameters 94 00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:24,083 results in loss of points. 95 00:05:24,127 --> 00:05:25,346 Okay, all right, I get it, yeah. 96 00:05:25,389 --> 00:05:27,130 You're not exactly rewarding creativity. 97 00:05:27,173 --> 00:05:29,306 Who dareth bump into me?! 98 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:32,178 Oh, I dareth. I double-dog dareth. 99 00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,658 Ah! Ooh! 100 00:05:33,702 --> 00:05:35,356 Okay, good. Just checking. 101 00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:40,056 I need to figure out a way to impress or kill the captain 102 00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:42,363 so I can get on a more sinister ship. 103 00:05:44,582 --> 00:05:46,149 Long live the Empire. 104 00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:48,412 Long live the-- wait, did you just salute me 105 00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:49,631 with your left hand? 106 00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,372 Our Mariner is right-handed. 107 00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:54,418 Uh, no, I just, uh, I strained this shoulder 108 00:05:54,462 --> 00:05:55,854 flogging a Vulcan. 109 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,422 Get her! 110 00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:00,598 - Whoa! 111 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:04,907 Fail. 112 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,909 - Damn. - Don't worry, Commander. 113 00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:08,519 You'll have other opportunities 114 00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:11,000 to get a-head. 115 00:06:11,043 --> 00:06:13,829 - That's one of my faves. 116 00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:17,006 Medical ethics. Chief medical officer. 117 00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:20,139 navigate a paralyzed Klingon's request 118 00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:21,576 for an honorable death. 119 00:06:21,619 --> 00:06:23,186 Oh, uh, okay. 120 00:06:23,229 --> 00:06:24,840 You must help me kill myself. 121 00:06:24,883 --> 00:06:26,929 I broke my back picking up a peanut. 122 00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:29,453 Well, as head of medical, I'm not supposed to do any harm. 123 00:06:29,497 --> 00:06:30,585 - Huh? 124 00:06:30,628 --> 00:06:31,586 Points deducted. 125 00:06:31,629 --> 00:06:33,979 What? Oh. I guess in that case, 126 00:06:34,023 --> 00:06:36,678 let's send you off to Sto-vo-kor. 127 00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:39,245 No! You must use my ceremonial blade! 128 00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:41,509 Ew. No. It'll be quick and painless this way. 129 00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:43,119 Points deducted. 130 00:06:43,162 --> 00:06:45,295 Huh? I-I gotta hurt him? 131 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,253 You refuse to honor my culture?! 132 00:06:47,297 --> 00:06:49,081 Oh, no, no, sir, I-I wanna kill you, I... 133 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,519 Just give me the knife. Aah! 134 00:06:51,562 --> 00:06:53,869 Good God, what did you do? 135 00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,131 This Klingon isn't dead. 136 00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:57,002 I-I was trying to save him? 137 00:06:57,046 --> 00:06:59,657 - What? Come on. Come on. - Faster. Kill me. Kill! 138 00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:01,877 We have to get this warrior an honorable death, stat! 139 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,533 - Get me 300cc's of any type of poison. - I have to die! 140 00:07:05,576 --> 00:07:08,274 They have giant hearts, so many backup organs. 141 00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:11,669 Sir, it's done. There's nothing else we can do. 142 00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:13,628 Damn it. Call it. 143 00:07:13,671 --> 00:07:15,934 Time of life, 0900. 144 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,067 No! 145 00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:19,764 Sorry. Fail. 146 00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:27,076 Old West planet. 147 00:07:27,119 --> 00:07:29,644 As captain, you must survive a lawless frontier town 148 00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:31,820 in Earth's 19th century. 149 00:07:31,863 --> 00:07:33,604 But beware, for you are a wanted man... 150 00:07:33,648 --> 00:07:35,476 Yeah, yeah, I get it. Trapped in cowboy land. 151 00:07:35,519 --> 00:07:37,129 It's a Starfleet classic. Yeehaw. 152 00:07:37,173 --> 00:07:39,175 - Just gotta find the saloon... 153 00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:42,047 What? I haven't even done anything creative. 154 00:07:42,091 --> 00:07:44,180 Oh, we have to ride the horses. Okay. 155 00:07:44,223 --> 00:07:46,312 Seems kinda like a narrow parameter for a drill. 156 00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:51,230 Calm down, horses love me; I'm a maverick. 157 00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:53,972 Whoa! Aah! 158 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,714 Help! Aah! Ow! Bad horse. 159 00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:57,802 Fail. 160 00:07:59,543 --> 00:08:02,198 Mm-mm-mm. 161 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,897 The Good of the Many. Chief Engineer, 162 00:08:05,941 --> 00:08:08,421 enter the chamber and fix the warp core breach 163 00:08:08,465 --> 00:08:09,771 to save the ship. 164 00:08:09,814 --> 00:08:11,903 - Okey dokey. - Sir, the radiation! 165 00:08:11,947 --> 00:08:13,252 You can't go in there! 166 00:08:13,296 --> 00:08:16,429 I have to, son. I'm chief engineer. 167 00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,910 - Ooh, that sounds so good. 168 00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:22,261 Ow! Hot! Uh, maybe if I... Aah! Frickin' radiation. 169 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:23,741 Warp core breach imminent. 170 00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:25,526 I know, computer. But how am I supposed to-- Ow! 171 00:08:25,569 --> 00:08:28,311 Wow, this really shouldn't be that hard. 172 00:08:28,354 --> 00:08:30,226 Shut up, Ensign! Wait, my boot. 173 00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:31,575 Warp core critical. 174 00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:34,186 Ha-ha! Come on, come on. 175 00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:35,927 Got it! 176 00:08:39,017 --> 00:08:40,541 - Fail. 177 00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,763 -Borg Encounter. - Uh, could you be 178 00:08:45,807 --> 00:08:47,156 a little more specific than that? 179 00:08:47,199 --> 00:08:48,679 Resist the Borg. 180 00:08:48,723 --> 00:08:50,202 Okay, you know what, that's fine. I've read literally 181 00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,988 everything about the Borg; I've got this. 182 00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:55,556 Wow, the detail on this is amazing. 183 00:08:55,599 --> 00:08:59,081 We are Borg. Resistance is futile. 184 00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:01,083 Whoa, this is so cool! 185 00:09:01,126 --> 00:09:02,867 Oh, sorry. Please, keep going. Do the thing. 186 00:09:02,911 --> 00:09:05,783 We will add your biological distinctiveness to our own. 187 00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:07,089 You will be assimilated. 188 00:09:07,132 --> 00:09:08,438 Can't have that. 189 00:09:12,224 --> 00:09:15,488 All right, can't adjust the frequency anymore... Yoink. 190 00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:18,840 Yeah! 191 00:09:21,669 --> 00:09:24,628 - Ooh. Oh. 192 00:09:27,588 --> 00:09:30,112 Oh, an escape sphere. 193 00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,461 Woo-hoo! 194 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,419 Mission accomplished. 195 00:09:33,463 --> 00:09:36,640 Oh, yeah! That's right. Boimler's the Borg man. 196 00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:39,077 Your score is 79%. 197 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,732 79? No, no, no, no, no, I can do better than that. 198 00:09:41,776 --> 00:09:43,647 - Can I restart? - If you score below passing, 199 00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:45,214 you will be locked out. 200 00:09:45,257 --> 00:09:46,215 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hit me. 201 00:09:46,258 --> 00:09:47,216 Come on, let's go. 202 00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:49,958 We are... 203 00:09:52,961 --> 00:09:55,180 Come on, Borg baby, this time you're coming with me. 204 00:09:56,965 --> 00:09:58,270 Woo-hoo! 205 00:09:58,314 --> 00:10:00,142 83%. 206 00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:01,709 I can do better. 207 00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:06,801 Woo-hoo! 208 00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:09,542 84%. 209 00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:13,111 Do it again. Hit me! 210 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,417 Naked Time? 211 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,027 As captain, you must save your crew, 212 00:10:16,071 --> 00:10:17,420 who are under the influence of a virus 213 00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:20,118 that reduces their inhibitions. 214 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,599 Oh, no, this is that disease that made everyone 215 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,166 fight and have sex all over the place. 216 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:27,560 Can you resist your own temptations and save the ship? 217 00:10:27,604 --> 00:10:29,911 - Come on, girl. Last one. You got this. 218 00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:32,827 Wow, everyone's very slick and sliding around. 219 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:35,699 Keep your hands to yourselves. Hey, that's an anus! 220 00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:38,702 - Oh. Ooh. 221 00:10:38,746 --> 00:10:40,443 Oh! 222 00:10:40,486 --> 00:10:42,880 I can't tell where I end and you begin. 223 00:10:42,924 --> 00:10:45,317 It's naked time! 224 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:47,668 Oh, fail me, fail me! Seriously, 225 00:10:47,711 --> 00:10:49,670 why is this drill still going? Fail me. 226 00:10:49,713 --> 00:10:51,410 Put me back in the Western! 227 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,509 Ugh, I failed every single drill. 228 00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,381 At least you weren't responsible for the destruction 229 00:11:05,424 --> 00:11:06,730 of a whole ship. 230 00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:08,340 All those life-and-death decisions, 231 00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,952 I honestly don't know how Dr. T'Ana does it every day. 232 00:11:10,995 --> 00:11:13,476 Mmm. Computer, what is this? 233 00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:15,391 That is pesto. 234 00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:16,958 Where's Boimler? He lives for this kind of spread. 235 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:18,786 Last I heard, he was still doing his drill. 236 00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:20,962 Yeah, right. I bet he bombed out just like us 237 00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:22,703 and he doesn't want to admit it. 238 00:11:22,746 --> 00:11:24,313 -♪ 239 00:11:26,141 --> 00:11:27,229 We got your signal. How were you able to... 240 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:28,926 Just fly. 241 00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:33,583 -94%. - Again. 242 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,803 Your score is already in the top ten... 243 00:11:35,846 --> 00:11:37,065 I said again! 244 00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:40,546 It hurts me to say this, but... 245 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,898 maybe the bridge crew's jobs are actually harder than we thought. 246 00:11:43,941 --> 00:11:45,900 Yeah, well, I'm sure right now they're finding out 247 00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:48,554 just how hard it is to do our jobs, too. 248 00:11:50,948 --> 00:11:53,821 I almost forgot how easy being a lower-decker is. 249 00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:56,693 All I did was stand in the back of a banquet all day. 250 00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:58,477 I just waited in the transporter bay 251 00:11:58,521 --> 00:12:00,218 in case anybody needed to be transported. 252 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,133 Why did we ever rank up again? 253 00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:04,005 So what if their showers are a little cramped, 254 00:12:04,048 --> 00:12:05,310 or their replicators can only make 255 00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:07,443 one slice of pizza at a time? 256 00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:09,184 A small price to pay for no worries 257 00:12:09,227 --> 00:12:10,794 and no responsibilities. 258 00:12:10,838 --> 00:12:13,318 Even these close quarters don't bother me. 259 00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:16,844 Mmm. 260 00:12:16,887 --> 00:12:19,803 Yep, I could get used to this easy life. 261 00:12:21,805 --> 00:12:24,155 - Ow! What the [bleep]?! 262 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,030 Klingon Encounter. 263 00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:32,033 Really? I think I know how to handle one of those. 264 00:12:32,076 --> 00:12:35,471 Ensigns, your mission is to support your commanders. 265 00:12:37,038 --> 00:12:39,605 Stop goofing around, Ensigns! The ship's under attack! 266 00:12:39,649 --> 00:12:41,869 - What happened? - Don't worry about it. Get to work. 267 00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:44,175 These crates aren't gonna stack themselves. 268 00:12:44,219 --> 00:12:47,135 Really? There are Klingons on the other side of the hull, 269 00:12:47,178 --> 00:12:49,050 and this is our job? 270 00:12:49,093 --> 00:12:50,573 Aw, son of a... 271 00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,445 If they wanted us to stack these, 272 00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:55,491 then why are they shaped like this?! 273 00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:56,709 Quick! Have you seen a Q come through here? 274 00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:58,755 - Q is on the ship? - Forget I said anything. 275 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:01,192 Commander, wait. We're Starfleet officers. 276 00:13:01,236 --> 00:13:02,672 We can help you, just tell us what's... 277 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:05,370 The Jem'Hadar? Get to battle stations! 278 00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:06,719 Damn it! 279 00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:08,330 Aha! I got it. 280 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,290 Failed! 281 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:19,428 Now that both sides have been put through individual tests, 282 00:13:19,471 --> 00:13:22,823 your last drill will be 283 00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:24,128 a simulated experience 284 00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:26,522 that uses your real bridge. 285 00:13:26,565 --> 00:13:29,438 The true test of a crew is seeing how you can 286 00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:31,005 unite as a single team. 287 00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:33,398 "Steal the Cerritos from spacedock 288 00:13:33,442 --> 00:13:35,313 and use it to save Spock on the Genesis planet." 289 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,663 - Okay, yeah. - An oldie but a goodie. 290 00:13:37,707 --> 00:13:40,579 And just what do you think you're doing, Ensign Freeman? 291 00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,494 Force of habit. 292 00:13:42,538 --> 00:13:44,757 All right, look alive, people. Yeoman Ransom, 293 00:13:44,801 --> 00:13:46,890 let's get some fresh coffee on deck. 294 00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:48,370 Yes, sir. 295 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,502 Ensign Freeman, full thrusters, take us out. 296 00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:53,723 Aye, Captain. 90 seconds to spacedock. 297 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,987 Ensign Shaxs, what are you doing? 298 00:13:57,031 --> 00:13:59,076 Requesting permission to stretch, Captain. 299 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,210 My back's killing me from sleeping in those bunks. 300 00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:05,082 Oh, it's naked time! 301 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,519 Ugh! No. Stop that. Stop now. 302 00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:08,607 Geez, what's gotten into you? 303 00:14:08,651 --> 00:14:10,131 It's-it's just something 304 00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:11,436 I'm remembering from the drills. 305 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:12,568 The one where you couldn't even 306 00:14:12,611 --> 00:14:13,743 get on a horse? 307 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,092 How do you know about that? 308 00:14:15,136 --> 00:14:16,877 The drills are public, Beckett. 309 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,269 I watched the playback. 310 00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:20,706 I'm just saying, two and a half years of lessons 311 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,100 - and that's what you had to show for it? 312 00:14:23,144 --> 00:14:24,362 Congratulations, Ensign. 313 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,929 You've earned yourself a trip to the brig. 314 00:14:25,973 --> 00:14:27,235 - I've never been sent to the brig. 315 00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,411 - Well, now you have. - On what grounds? 316 00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:30,586 On my grounds! 317 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:34,720 Beckett, I am speaking! 318 00:14:34,764 --> 00:14:37,245 Captain, did you want your coffee with cream or... 319 00:14:37,288 --> 00:14:39,464 Dang. That's gotta be a record. 320 00:14:39,508 --> 00:14:41,205 Actually, it is. 321 00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:46,210 I can't believe we didn't even make it out of the spacedock. 322 00:14:46,254 --> 00:14:48,386 There's not even a numerical score for that. 323 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,997 Just "incomplete." 324 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,955 Oof, somehow that feels worse. 325 00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:53,652 - I guess I... - You know I... 326 00:14:53,696 --> 00:14:55,350 - Oh, you go. - No, no, no, you. 327 00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:57,961 You know, it's been so long since I've been an ensign, 328 00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,442 I forgot how hard it can be when you're not in the loop. 329 00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:04,402 In a lot of ways, taking orders is the more challenging job. 330 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:06,578 That's nice to hear, but ditto. 331 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,189 Commander-level stuff is hard. 332 00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:10,800 Just the constant tightrope walk of protocol. 333 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,280 Not worth the pesto. 334 00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:13,629 Guess the carpet's always grayer 335 00:15:13,672 --> 00:15:16,197 - on the other side of the ship. - Big-time. 336 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,982 Do they know what "stacked" means? 337 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:21,071 We're stacking for what reason? 338 00:15:21,115 --> 00:15:23,030 Hold on. 339 00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:25,119 That's what this has all been about. 340 00:15:25,162 --> 00:15:26,947 That drills consultant made us suffer 341 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,557 through all of this crap 342 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,038 just so we'd understand what the other ranks go through. 343 00:15:31,081 --> 00:15:32,561 That's the actual drill here. 344 00:15:32,604 --> 00:15:34,128 Ugh, you're right! 345 00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:36,260 Where is that tri-bodied little trickster? 346 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:38,001 I want to shake her hand. 347 00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:41,439 Yo, Shari Yingo Yango, 348 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,354 - we figured you out, girl. - You did? 349 00:15:43,398 --> 00:15:46,314 Yeah, these drills were secretly about team building. 350 00:15:46,357 --> 00:15:48,794 You came in to make us appreciate each other more. 351 00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:51,493 And it worked! Thanks to you, the Cerritos crew will 352 00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:53,321 move forward with greater empathy 353 00:15:53,364 --> 00:15:55,888 and a deeper appreciation for each other. 354 00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:03,853 Oh, no, you won't be moving forward at all. 355 00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:11,556 - What are you-- 356 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,950 what is she laughing about? 357 00:16:13,994 --> 00:16:15,169 Oh, come on. 358 00:16:15,212 --> 00:16:16,866 Your drills scores are well below failing. 359 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,955 Once they're submitted, Starfleet Command will 360 00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:21,871 relegate and reassign this entire crew. 361 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,438 So this wasn't about teamwork? 362 00:16:23,481 --> 00:16:25,222 Teamwork? No. 363 00:16:25,266 --> 00:16:26,789 This was about saving my job. 364 00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:29,313 The bigger ships always passed my drills with no problem. 365 00:16:29,357 --> 00:16:30,923 It was starting to seem like we didn't 366 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,273 need a drills program at all. 367 00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:34,275 This one needed a crew to fall short 368 00:16:34,318 --> 00:16:36,494 to prove the drills were still valuable, 369 00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,627 and, oh, did I find a crew. 370 00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,716 You targeted us for failure? 371 00:16:40,759 --> 00:16:42,979 This is a ship whose captain left four ensigns 372 00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:45,503 on a spacewalk to answer a distress call. 373 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,201 It was a pretty safe bet. 374 00:16:47,244 --> 00:16:50,378 And, of course, it didn't hurt to goose the drills a bit. 375 00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:53,207 Oh, I knew it. That mirror universe drill was rigged. 376 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,687 They were all rigged! 377 00:16:55,731 --> 00:16:58,821 And those horses. I would never get trampled by a horse. 378 00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:00,214 Oh, actually, no, the horses weren't rigged. 379 00:17:00,257 --> 00:17:01,824 I ran out of time. That one's on you. 380 00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:02,955 Horses love me. Shut up! 381 00:17:02,999 --> 00:17:05,088 We won't let you get away with this. 382 00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:07,308 Cerritos crew, we've got to do more drills 383 00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:08,787 - to get our scores up. - It's too late. 384 00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:11,094 Once the drills have been failed, 385 00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:12,400 you're locked out. 386 00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:14,880 Soon this one will submit your final scores 387 00:17:14,924 --> 00:17:16,534 to Starfleet, and that will be the end of... 388 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,493 Wait, shut up, the drills aren't over. 389 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,234 - One is still active. - What? Which one? 390 00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:21,670 - It's Boimler! - How? 391 00:17:21,713 --> 00:17:23,889 That Borg drill should've been over hours ago. 392 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,152 Well, it doesn't matter. 393 00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:27,328 One passing score will make little difference. 394 00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:30,679 - If the drills aren't finished... - Our scores aren't final! 395 00:17:30,722 --> 00:17:32,202 Boimler, can you hear me? 396 00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:34,596 Hey, Mariner, I was just about to close out this drill. 397 00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,772 - I finally got a perfect... Don't you finish that drill, Ensign. 398 00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,078 That's an order! 399 00:17:38,121 --> 00:17:39,731 Captain, but I beat the Borg Queen in chess, 400 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:41,994 - and I taught her empathy. - Just stay in that drill! 401 00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:44,084 The crew is counting on you. 402 00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:45,868 Yeah, Shari Bing Bang is trying to screw us, 403 00:17:45,911 --> 00:17:47,739 but she can't until your drill is over. 404 00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:49,567 -Just keep Borging! - I'm on it. 405 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,179 Resistance is futile. 406 00:17:52,222 --> 00:17:53,658 Aw, man. 407 00:17:53,702 --> 00:17:56,270 You know you've already lost, right? 408 00:17:56,313 --> 00:17:58,576 All you're doing is torturing that young officer. 409 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,361 He'll be fine. He's one of our best. 410 00:18:00,404 --> 00:18:02,145 - He is? - None of you are the best. 411 00:18:02,189 --> 00:18:04,016 You're on a California Class ship. 412 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,541 Most of the Federation doesn't even know you exist. 413 00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:08,499 The smaller the ship, the tougher the crew. 414 00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:10,240 Oh, please, face the truth. 415 00:18:10,284 --> 00:18:11,676 This one's made the drills. 416 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,896 This one's read all about life on starships. 417 00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,986 Exactly. You've read how to work in space, 418 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,945 but have you ever been in a real life-or-death situation? 419 00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:22,383 - That doesn't matter. - It's about to. 420 00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:24,733 Captain on deck! Real captain. 421 00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:28,128 Ensign Tendi, run a long-range scan for any potentially 422 00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:29,738 hazardous anomalies in this system. 423 00:18:29,781 --> 00:18:31,392 Yes, sir. Is this a new drill? 424 00:18:31,435 --> 00:18:33,350 Oh, no, this is real. 425 00:18:33,394 --> 00:18:35,526 What is that supposed to mean? 426 00:18:35,570 --> 00:18:38,225 All right, let's see, we've got a tetryon wormhole, 427 00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:39,878 chroniton radiation stream. 428 00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:41,184 Ooh, a loner crystalline entity, 429 00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:43,926 a crystalline entity consuming a rogue planet, 430 00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:45,971 a couple crystalline entities getting frisky-- huh. 431 00:18:46,015 --> 00:18:47,538 Lots of, lots of crystalline entities today. 432 00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:49,714 Must be crystalline entity season or something. 433 00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:51,499 Ensign, set an intercept course 434 00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:53,022 for one of those crystalline entities. 435 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,763 - Warp four. - Aye aye, Captain! 436 00:18:54,806 --> 00:18:57,722 "The Crystalline Entity" is drill number 89. 437 00:18:57,766 --> 00:18:59,420 A classic. Can't wait. 438 00:19:00,464 --> 00:19:02,292 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no! 439 00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:03,815 No, no, no, no, no. 440 00:19:03,859 --> 00:19:05,643 Come on, Mariner, whatever you're doing up there, hurry! 441 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,558 Aah! Borg Queen! 442 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,521 Uh, how-how's the empathy? 443 00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:15,479 We were able to assimilate it. 444 00:19:15,523 --> 00:19:18,787 No, no, no, no, no, my score! 445 00:19:20,832 --> 00:19:22,747 Captain, we've reached the crystalline entity. 446 00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:25,881 It appears to be feeding on unstable nebula radiation. 447 00:19:25,924 --> 00:19:28,231 Oh, my, it's bigger than this one thought. 448 00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:29,493 Unstable, huh? 449 00:19:29,537 --> 00:19:31,582 Seems like something we should investigate. 450 00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:33,018 Shields up, take us in. 451 00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:34,803 What? No! In my drill, you're never supposed to... 452 00:19:34,846 --> 00:19:36,108 This isn't a drill. 453 00:19:41,636 --> 00:19:43,377 Shields holding, Captain, 454 00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,988 but I'm reading transphasic energy within the perimeter. 455 00:19:46,031 --> 00:19:49,078 That's a new one. Let's get a closer look! 456 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:52,299 No! We don't know the effect of-- 457 00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:53,778 Controls are getting choppy. 458 00:19:53,822 --> 00:19:55,780 We're caught in an electromagnetic 459 00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:58,696 resonance belt. I think we're in trouble! 460 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,829 This is not good! 461 00:20:00,872 --> 00:20:03,092 Whoa! 462 00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:11,709 Mariner, I really need to get out of here. Like now! 463 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:12,971 - Ooh. 464 00:20:13,015 --> 00:20:14,146 Kinda tickles. 465 00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:15,887 A remarkable creature. 466 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:18,586 Your design very nearly passes as human. 467 00:20:18,629 --> 00:20:20,370 - I am human. - Oh! 468 00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:23,330 Wow. Then you need to drink more water. 469 00:20:23,373 --> 00:20:25,070 Your skin is a mess. 470 00:20:25,114 --> 00:20:28,639 But still, I think I should add your biological distinctiveness 471 00:20:28,683 --> 00:20:31,425 to our own; it's kind of our thing. 472 00:20:31,468 --> 00:20:33,165 Are-are you sure? Because I've got 473 00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:34,819 hay fever and acid reflux. 474 00:20:34,863 --> 00:20:38,170 Adding me might result in a net negative for the collective. 475 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,915 Oh, this one's gonna puke. 476 00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:46,918 We need to fire a graviton pulse to punch a hole out. 477 00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:50,270 On my mark. Mmm... 478 00:20:50,313 --> 00:20:52,750 Say "mark"! Say "mark"! What are you waiting for?! 479 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,710 Just making sure you're as scared as you're going to get. 480 00:20:55,753 --> 00:20:57,320 - You're crazy! - Mark! 481 00:20:57,364 --> 00:20:58,278 Full impulse! 482 00:21:05,372 --> 00:21:08,505 Mariner, find me something else dangerous to scan. 483 00:21:08,549 --> 00:21:10,768 I'm in the mood for a black hole. 484 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,204 - Why?! - We're gonna keep doing this 485 00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:14,337 until you change our score. 486 00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:16,600 There's a black hole feeding on a temporal rift 487 00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:18,907 just three systems over. Lots of time quakes. 488 00:21:18,950 --> 00:21:21,388 Sounds perfect. Maximum warp. 489 00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:25,217 You can't blackmail me at the expense of your crew. 490 00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:27,089 They do this kind of work every day. 491 00:21:27,132 --> 00:21:28,656 You gonna give us a passing grade, 492 00:21:28,699 --> 00:21:30,484 or are we just gonna keep seeking out 493 00:21:30,527 --> 00:21:32,268 dangerous situations for you 494 00:21:32,312 --> 00:21:34,357 to see up close? 495 00:21:36,794 --> 00:21:39,449 Stop! Stop! We can't! 496 00:21:41,669 --> 00:21:43,714 Get me out of here! Get me out of here! 497 00:21:43,758 --> 00:21:47,065 We could do this all day, lady! 498 00:21:48,371 --> 00:21:52,027 All right, fine. You win, you win! 499 00:21:52,070 --> 00:21:54,334 There, it's done. You've passed. 500 00:21:54,377 --> 00:21:56,161 Mr. Rutherford, stop our spin. 501 00:21:56,205 --> 00:21:57,119 Aye, Captain. 502 00:21:58,816 --> 00:22:01,819 What? But the temporal black hole... 503 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:04,605 Well, that was kind of a lie. It's just a regular black hole. 504 00:22:04,648 --> 00:22:05,910 Yeah, no biggie. 505 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,216 Which you would have known if you weren't 506 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,000 a total fraud. 507 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,133 I'll be sure to put that in my report. 508 00:22:14,092 --> 00:22:16,138 Boimler! We did it. Hey, it's all good. 509 00:22:16,181 --> 00:22:17,618 You can exit the drill now. 510 00:22:17,661 --> 00:22:19,010 Boimler? 511 00:22:28,455 --> 00:22:30,500 I can him hear him shuffling around in there. 512 00:22:30,544 --> 00:22:32,937 Mr. Boimler! You can come out now. 513 00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:34,330 You saved the ship! 514 00:22:34,374 --> 00:22:37,202 There is no Boimler. I am Excretus of Borg. 515 00:22:37,246 --> 00:22:38,073 Get him out of there! 516 00:22:41,468 --> 00:22:43,339 Assimilate. I must assimilate! 517 00:22:43,383 --> 00:22:46,168 I, uh-- Where am I? 518 00:22:46,211 --> 00:22:48,300 You're still on the Cerritos, Mr. Boimler. 519 00:22:48,344 --> 00:22:50,520 The crew owes you a debt of gratitude. 520 00:22:50,564 --> 00:22:53,305 I was assimilated. They-they put implants up my... 521 00:22:53,349 --> 00:22:55,003 Ear is where they put the implants. 522 00:22:55,046 --> 00:22:57,832 Right in your ear. Come on, pal, you need a drink. 523 00:22:57,875 --> 00:22:59,964 Did I, did I get my perfect score? 524 00:23:00,008 --> 00:23:02,227 You sure did. A hundred percent. 525 00:23:02,271 --> 00:23:06,014 Hell yeah. Hit me. Hit me again. 526 00:23:10,148 --> 00:23:12,194 Shari Yn Yem is no longer working for Starfleet. 527 00:23:12,237 --> 00:23:16,111 Apparently she stepped down because of on-the-job stress. 528 00:23:16,154 --> 00:23:17,852 Feels good, ruining a jerk's career. 529 00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:20,594 Agreed. And there was one thing she did manage 530 00:23:20,637 --> 00:23:22,117 to teach us today. 531 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,119 Whoa, new replicator? 532 00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:26,077 Let's just say we experienced 533 00:23:26,121 --> 00:23:27,557 what the lower decks have been eating, 534 00:23:27,601 --> 00:23:29,907 and noticed it could use some improvement. 535 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:33,607 We updated this one with most of the senior officer menu codes. 536 00:23:33,650 --> 00:23:34,825 We get pesto?! 537 00:23:34,869 --> 00:23:36,305 If you're going to be facing danger 538 00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:37,524 on a daily basis, 539 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:39,439 might as well get the good stuff. 540 00:23:39,482 --> 00:23:41,615 Thanks, guys. Aw, this is really nice. 541 00:23:41,658 --> 00:23:42,964 Ooh, ooh, does it make the lobster mac and cheese 542 00:23:43,007 --> 00:23:44,226 with the breaded top? 543 00:23:44,269 --> 00:23:45,445 Sounds like the one thing 544 00:23:45,488 --> 00:23:46,620 the Borg left you with 545 00:23:46,663 --> 00:23:48,448 -was your appetite. 546 00:23:48,491 --> 00:23:50,711 They took everything that I was. 547 00:23:57,761 --> 00:24:00,764 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 548 00:24:52,076 --> 00:24:52,903 Chirp.