1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ 2 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,293 We've arrived in the Portelo system, Captain. 3 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,164 Any idea what we're supposed to be doing? 4 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,732 Starfleet was unusually tight-lipped on the details. 5 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,343 The whole mission's classified. 6 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,562 Take us in. 7 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,522 MARINER: I wonder what the big mystery is. 8 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,655 Ugh, I hope it's not a Romulan Neutral Zone thing. 9 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:47,830 Spy stuff's so boring. 10 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:50,006 - [device trills] - Uh, ah, ah, man. 11 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,443 Whatever it is, I have to start with holodeck waste removal. 12 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:53,618 - Blech. - TENDI: I don't know, 13 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:54,793 but I can't wait to find out with you. 14 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,882 'Sup, ladies? How's science? 15 00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:59,711 We just catalogued some pretty cool hydrogen samples. 16 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,627 Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. 17 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,281 Sweet. See you guys at lunch. 18 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:07,023 Boimler, make sure you shower first. Holodeck duty. 19 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,286 Your odor will be repulsive. 20 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,332 Oh, thank you so much, T'Lyn. 21 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,942 You are welcome. 22 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,033 - [grunts] - Oh-ho-ho. 23 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,384 Don't get too used to this kind of work, Mr. Boimler. 24 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:23,344 Promotions are coming up, and I think you'll be very happy. 25 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,128 Wait, really? I-I... [clears throat] 26 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,999 I'm getting a promotion? 27 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,740 As long as nothing goes sideways today, 28 00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:30,307 you'll be a lieutenant junior grade. 29 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,657 - But stuff always goes sideways. - Relax. 30 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,877 You'd have to screw up in a historically significant way 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,184 - to mess this one up. - Okay, yeah. 32 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,621 What are the odds of that? [laughs] Oh, oh! 33 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:40,970 [yelps] 34 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,493 Uh... [whimpers] 35 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:50,283 Approaching the mystery station, Captain. 36 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,155 I hope this isn't a Romulan thing. 37 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,810 - I hate the Neutral Zone. - Right? Thank you. 38 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:57,247 Sorry for the secrecy, Captain, 39 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,423 but after all these years, we finally finished. 40 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:02,818 [clears throat] Beljo Tweekle, curator and historian. 41 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,473 Curator? What, are we transporting some type of art? 42 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,344 [scoffs] Perhaps the most beautiful work of art 43 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,824 in Starfleet history. 44 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:17,006 [gasps] Oh, my God, we get to do something on Voyager? 45 00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:20,140 Uh, you know, 'cause, I mean, Boimler's gonna flip. [Chuckles] 46 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,365 ♪ 47 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,440 ♪ 48 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,036 ♪ 49 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:40,045 FREEMAN: Captain's log, stardate 58724.. 50 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:42,091 In a pleasant surprise, theCerritos has been tasked 51 00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:45,529 with transporting the USSVoyager. 52 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:48,271 Captain Janeway and her crew spent seven years 53 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,404 trying to get home from the Delta Quadrant, 54 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:54,321 and they became Federation history in the process. 55 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:57,019 Since their return, Voyager has been decommissioned 56 00:03:57,062 --> 00:04:00,065 and preserved for future generations. 57 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,459 Her first stop is Starfleet Command, 58 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:03,939 where she'll spend some time on the ground 59 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,506 before being permanently 60 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,029 - stationed in orbit. - [yelps] 61 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,813 - [grunts] - CURATOR: Careful. 62 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,467 That's a mission-worn uniform. 63 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:13,644 My legacy depends on everything making it to Earth 64 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,342 in pristine condition. 65 00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,822 Unzak, when he guided the florkas to their roost. 66 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:20,521 Whatever. Just don't touch anything. 67 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,479 - Oopsie-doodle. - CURATOR: What are you doing? 68 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,612 Just taking a peek at the bio-neural circuitry. 69 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,309 One time, Neelix had this cheese, 70 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,658 and the bacteria almost destroyed... 71 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,791 I know all about the Neelix cheese. 72 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,619 There's a whole display for it on Deck Seven. 73 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,185 Don't open panels. 74 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:35,013 The ship was damaged by cheese? 75 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,581 It's Voyager. [bleep] got freaky. 76 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,804 Hmm. This ship is outdated and smells like Borg. 77 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,545 What about Tuvok? 78 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,024 You must be excited to see his quarters. 79 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,939 Perhaps. Are they austere? 80 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,942 These boxes are for a rotating exhibit. 81 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:54,598 Store them on the Cerritos, and please be careful. 82 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,122 Are you chewing gum? 83 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,734 TENDI: Ooh, after this, you want to get 84 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,127 a head start on tomorrow's titrations with me? 85 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,347 [gasps] We can label the test tubes. 86 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,306 T'LYN: I do enjoy an accurate label. 87 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,920 [air whistling] 88 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,965 ♪ 89 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,755 There we go, all calibrated. 90 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,887 Hey, Doc, uh, want a ride back? 91 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,324 [grunts] Beats taking a shuttle. 92 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,675 BILLUPS: You know, growing up, I had a dragon named Fiddlesticks. 93 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,067 He was such a good boy. 94 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,634 He protected me from all sorts of affectionate... 95 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,288 Oh [bleep]. Why is it people 96 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,595 always have to tell me about their [bleep] pets? 97 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,031 Right. Sorry. 98 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,511 Cerritos, two to beam up. 99 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,382 LUNDY [over comms]: Copy, Commander. Energizing. 100 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,212 - [computer trills] - Something is wrong, sir. 101 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,519 - There's only one pattern. - [gasps] 102 00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:48,522 [yowls] What the [bleep]? 103 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,654 Where am I? And, uh... 104 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:51,960 who am I? 105 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,832 Captain, we have a problem. 106 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,756 Something over there caused Billups and Dr. T'Ana 107 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,105 to merge in the transporter. 108 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,630 He's calling himself T'Illups. 109 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:12,502 This exact scenario happened to the Voyagercrew. 110 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,113 Everything is falling apart! 111 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,550 No need for panic. 112 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,639 I'm sure I can deal with this transporter situation 113 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:19,944 - on my own. - T'ILLUPS: Oh... 114 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,643 Just send me a copy of Janeway's logs. 115 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,035 I'll do whatever she did. 116 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:26,211 Sending now. Thank you, Captain. 117 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,349 She knows Janeway straight up murdered Tuvix, right? 118 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,959 Huh? Oh, I-I don't know. 119 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,657 What? Yes, you do. You're a know-it-all. 120 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,919 Get your head in the game. 121 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,747 This is a historically significant mission. 122 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,139 It's Voy, man. 123 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,011 I mean, it's not that historically significant. 124 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,621 What? Yes, it is. 125 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,623 [groans] I'm gonna make sure going to warp 126 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,233 didn't knock anything over. 127 00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,018 We've got inertial dampeners. I'm sure everything is fine. 128 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:53,238 It won't be fine until we're on the ground. [Yells] 129 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:56,111 Relax. They design these things to survive a photon blast. 130 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:58,766 Oops. Uh, let me just... Wait. 131 00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:01,333 There's something behind the neural gel. [Gasps] 132 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,509 - [yelping, gasping] - Somebody phaser it! 133 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:03,814 Look out! 134 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,207 Oh, God, it's on me! 135 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,338 Ugh, don't let it infect you. 136 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,297 - Don't shoot. - Why not? 137 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,168 It's a Tak Takian macrovirus. 138 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,474 It must've been dormant. 139 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,694 Macrovirus? Is it making me sick? 140 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:16,131 Everyone got inoculated years ago. It can't hurt you. 141 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,655 But it is perfect for the museum. 142 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,918 Good virus. Just stay right there. 143 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:23,530 Temba, his arms wide. 144 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:24,661 [gasps] 145 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:29,231 They're spraying DNA on my babies. 146 00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,320 - Don't let them off the bridge. - Right, um, so... 147 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,713 Just stand in front of the door. 148 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:35,803 [screams] 149 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,675 - Boimler, are you kidding me? - Come on, man. 150 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,590 Shaka, when the walls fell, Ensign. 151 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:43,985 - Sokath, his eyes uncovered. - I pay attention. 152 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,856 - [glass shatters] - [alarm blaring] 153 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:48,859 How can you be this distracted over an empty ship? 154 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,732 Uh, you know, Chakotay served here. 155 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,256 Dude, this is nothing compared to, you know, that Pike thing 156 00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:55,823 we aren't supposed to talk about. 157 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:57,868 Let's get these chunky cold sores under control 158 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,740 so we can get back to enjoying this. 159 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,089 RANSOM: They're self-replicating again! 160 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,177 - Mr. Boimler, get out here. - [gasps] 161 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,483 This is your fault. 162 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,095 T'ILLUPS: I told you, I feel [bleep] great. 163 00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,923 Here, let me boost the range on that scanner. 164 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,925 He's been symbiogenetically merged 165 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,753 on a subcellular level, Captain. 166 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,929 It's called being Tuvixed. 167 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,713 The same thing happened to Commander Tuvok 168 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:17,845 and Neelix back in the '70s. 169 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,324 They beamed out with this flower, 170 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,196 and it caused them to merge into Tuvix, 171 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,415 a combination of their DNA and memories. 172 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,853 [gasps] That orchid was in one of the boxes we moved. 173 00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,811 It must've gotten into the transporter. 174 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:30,379 And that's how T'Illups was born. 175 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:33,730 Captain, I caution against socializing with the organism. 176 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,298 Organism? [Scoffs] I'm a totally unique sentient being. 177 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,647 Plus, I'm cool as [bleep]. 178 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,126 We're gonna be best friends fast. 179 00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:41,259 Yeah, T'Lyn, it doesn't hurt to be friendly, 180 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,740 since Mr. T'Illups didn't ask to be created. 181 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,002 Sure didn't, but here I am. 182 00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,352 I love being alive. 183 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,659 Well, I'm sure that Janeway had a solution to this. 184 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,313 [chuckles] I'll be back shortly. 185 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,099 How many physical memories 186 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,449 do you have from before? 187 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,802 [gasping, whimpering] 188 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,412 Don't let them touch the exhibits! 189 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,848 No! 190 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,459 [computer trills] 191 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,636 COMPUTER: Initiating programs Chaotica, 192 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,333 Clown and Michael Sullivan. 193 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,857 Safety protocols set to random. 194 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,120 Random? No. Computer, set them to safety. 195 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:19,254 - Ooh. [Laughs] - Surrender now, 196 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,952 or face the wrath of Chaotica. 197 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,824 [panting, whimpering] 198 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:25,477 These are, like, Voy'sdeepest cuts. 199 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,436 Not as deep as my cuts. Yah! 200 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,264 - [laughs] - [grunts] 201 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,050 [grunts] How are these guys even getting off the holodeck? 202 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,270 I installed holo-emitters all over the ship. 203 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:37,141 I thought you were preserving, not adding. 204 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,709 Oh, subtle updates that don't impact historical consistency 205 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,712 are an acceptable compromise for conservation. 206 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,018 Wha... Chaotica isn't subtle, 207 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,846 and the Clown wasn't even a holodeck pro... 208 00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,325 [moans] 209 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,458 I love you, but I can't be with you. 210 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,546 Ooh, I like this guy, though. 211 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,809 [Clown laughing] 212 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,115 - [panting] - [others gasp] 213 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:56,247 - Watch out! The Borg display! - I got it! 214 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:57,640 [screams] 215 00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,425 [whimpers, screams] 216 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,907 That promotion is starting to seem 217 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,127 a little less likely, Mr. Boimler. 218 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,303 - [sighs] - [curator screaming] 219 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,831 Did Janeway figure it out? 220 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,877 No, she just murdered him. 221 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,269 [stammers] There has to be more to it. 222 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,837 She isolated the genomes and split 'em up. 223 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,273 He begged her to live. 224 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:25,015 Holy [bleep]. Janeway didn't mess around. 225 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,887 [sighs] I don't want to kill the guy. 226 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,410 I mean, he didn't do anything wrong. 227 00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,368 We aren't stranded in the Delta Quadrant. 228 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:32,283 We could take him to Earth and get some help. 229 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,024 Good call. Let's hurry. 230 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,766 Captain, do you think Dr. T'Ana will be okay? 231 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,986 [sighs] I think so, but it didn't take us long 232 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,857 to look up Janeway's solution. 233 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:43,294 Let's just hope Mr. T'Illups doesn't do the same. 234 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,557 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 235 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,176 Dr. Migleemo, I need your help, uh, 236 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,917 processing my existence. 237 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,396 MIGLEEMO [over comms]: Oh, what a dream. 238 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,138 Don't do any self-care until I get there. 239 00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,837 CURATOR: Help! [Screams] Help! 240 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,230 I can feel it trying to regenerate me. 241 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,580 Uh, maybe if I cut power, we can... [screams] 242 00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,973 Stop helping, Ensign Boimler. 243 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,540 Why don't you take a break. 244 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,889 [grunting] 245 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,198 The alcove's activated. Look. 246 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,635 MARINER: What the hell is that? 247 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,159 RUTHERFORD: It's a Borg nanite. We must have missed one. 248 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,075 BOIMLER: It's supposed to be microscopic. 249 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,077 It must have assimilated to the macrovirus. 250 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,079 RANSOM: It's a macro-nanite? 251 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,734 - [Clowns laughing] - Congratulations. 252 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,736 You've won more Clowns. 253 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,390 I can't resist your touch. 254 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,739 - Let me hold you. - Computer! 255 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:37,914 Delete this guy. Come on, computer. 256 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,917 - [laughing] - [screams] 257 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,440 [whimpers] 258 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:48,055 We just want to talk, Mr. T'Illups. 259 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,839 T'ILLUPS: I don't think so. You're gonna kill me. 260 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,973 I promise you I'm not killing anyone, 261 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,322 but I am coming in. 262 00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:55,845 T'ILLUPS: Help! 263 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,064 She's trying to kill me! 264 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,630 We're going to figure this out. 265 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:01,024 What? I can't hear you. 266 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,940 The Cerritosisn't stuck in the Delta Quadrant, 267 00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,855 and Starfleet has the best doctors in the... 268 00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,335 I know how this goes down. 269 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:10,425 - [both gasp] - Which is why I need allies. 270 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,035 [Freeman and Shaxs gasp] 271 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,341 FREEMAN: No, wait! 272 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:14,429 [screams] 273 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:19,434 Behold, Captain Dr. Frigleeman. 274 00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:22,785 Bring me more scrumptious senior staff. 275 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,005 That's an order. 276 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:25,832 No! 277 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,400 Water, room temperature. 278 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,316 So, you're really okay with killing T'Illups? 279 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,972 I am here to hydrate, not debate on an anomaly's agency. 280 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,192 Well, I don't know. I just don't think it's ethical 281 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,281 to end someone's life to get our friends back. 282 00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,370 I hardly know anyone here at all. 283 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,720 - I am impartial. - But we're friends. 284 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,287 [chuckles] Right? 285 00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,679 - [weapon fires] - [gasps] 286 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:50,987 - [people screaming] - The bartender. 287 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,423 Tuvix him with Lundy. 288 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,990 [gasps] 289 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,644 [people screaming] 290 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,560 [door whooshes open] 291 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,041 TENDI: He's making more hybrids. 292 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,304 That appears to be an accurate assessment. 293 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,742 [grunts] 294 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,224 My career is ruined! 295 00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,269 [crying] 296 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,974 [groans] Some of this stuff got in my mouth. 297 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,976 I'm getting you out of here. Just hang tight. 298 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,021 Dude, you don't need me. 299 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,284 Did Chaotica's ray gun steal all your confidence or something? 300 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:28,633 No, I'm just... [sighs] 301 00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,026 - I'm having an off day. - Ugh! 302 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,072 This was supposed to be fun, and you ruined it. 303 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,378 - Voyager'sjust a ship, man. - [sighs] It's not that. 304 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:35,640 [sighs] 305 00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,338 Ransom was gonna promote me today, 306 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,079 but I don't want it. 307 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,210 What are you talking about? 308 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,342 Did you eat some of that virus slime? 309 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,387 I'm worried it'll be like the Titan. 310 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,694 It took us months to repair our friendship. 311 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,304 I... I can't do that again. 312 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,219 [scoffs] This is a totally different situation. 313 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,526 It's not just that. I should've believed you 314 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,528 when the captain sent you to Starbase 80. 315 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,183 I have bad judgment. I-I don't deserve a promotion. 316 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,489 [laughs] You adorable idiot. 317 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,665 I'm the one who told Ransom to promote you. 318 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,145 - You did? - Yes. 319 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,452 I was just keeping my mouth shut so it'd be a surprise. 320 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,583 You aren't mad at me? 321 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,411 No. Look, I am really touched, 322 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:08,891 but this is why we can't keep secrets. 323 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,067 One of us always ends up covered in slime. 324 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,156 Yeah, and it's not coming up. 325 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,942 Would you just go save the ship already? You don't need me. 326 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,205 Thanks, Mariner. I'm glad we're friends. 327 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,338 Ew! Did you just pat me on the head? 328 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:23,079 Yeah, it felt weird to me, too. I'm sorry. 329 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:31,392 You are Chondus, and you're with friends. 330 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,046 This is Shabarnes and Swhale Swhalens. 331 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:36,005 He's a combination of Steve Stevens and Matt the whale. 332 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,312 I want a fish. [Squeaks] 333 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:41,837 He's not my best work, but it matters not. 334 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:47,147 Soon, the entire [bleep] crew will be a Tuvix army! 335 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:47,930 [gasps] 336 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,284 Prepare to energize. 337 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,113 We have to do something. 338 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,420 I am already taking control of the transporters. 339 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:03,076 - You can do that? - Starfleet systems are easily circumvented. 340 00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,729 Hey, what are you doing? 341 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,081 [yowls] 342 00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:16,263 [gasps] 343 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:20,006 You combined all of them into one big Tuvix-y meatball? 344 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,355 Perhaps I could still split them 345 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,878 into their individual components. 346 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,533 Why isn't it working? 347 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,274 I cannot isolate their genetic signatures. 348 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:28,884 There are too many merged hybrids. 349 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,973 [Tendi gasps] 350 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,850 COMPUTER: Confirm new heading. 351 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:42,071 Setting a course to Borg Cube 858779. 352 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,377 Computer, cancel! 353 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,074 [both laughing] 354 00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:54,083 [sighs] I miss my wife. 355 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,432 [door whooshes open] 356 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,868 RANSOM: Mr. Boimler. 357 00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,001 Zap this stuff and get me down from here. 358 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,524 No time. I need an engineer. 359 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,136 - [gasps] Ow. - Sorry. 360 00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,659 Wait! Free us, too! 361 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,661 If we survive this, we're having a long talk, 362 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,445 - Mr. Boim... Uh... - [door whooshes open] 363 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,925 - [door whooshes shut] - BOIMLER: Okay, 364 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,013 the macro bots have locked us out, 365 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,449 but we need to shut down main systems. 366 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:14,321 Um, um, uh, we got to break Voyager. 367 00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:16,453 I got to break Voyager. Ooh, I have just the thing. 368 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,151 Yes, I knew you would. 369 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,414 The method employed by the Voyager'sEMH can only mark 370 00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:21,850 one individual. 371 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,026 High command will not be impressed with my error. 372 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,202 TENDI: That scanner T'Illups suggested 373 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:29,249 picks up all sorts of stuff, including personality traits. 374 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,077 That's how we can fix this. 375 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,340 I fail to see how that helps me differentiate a whale 376 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:34,515 from Steve Stevens. 377 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:35,951 Because you don't know them. Look. 378 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,606 This area is proud, confident and a little silly. 379 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:39,868 Oh, that's the captain. 380 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,478 If I isolate genetic code 381 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,132 and you mark their personalities... 382 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,481 We can get everyone back. 383 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:45,917 Why are you helping me? 384 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,832 Do you not have ethical problems with this solution? 385 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,660 Well, yeah, I did, but, uh, 386 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,532 this is a non-sentient blob of meat, 387 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,708 so I'm willing to go outside my comfort zone. [Chuckles] 388 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,188 I mean, for our friends. 389 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,364 Hmm. Thank you. 390 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,896 Are you sure this is gonna work? 391 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,854 Nope, but it feels like a kooky Voyagersolution, 392 00:17:09,897 --> 00:17:11,943 - so it's worth a try. - COMPUTER: Bridge. 393 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:20,300 - [screams, grunts] - CHAOTICA: Any last words 394 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:24,173 before you feel the sting of my Electro Luger? 395 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,394 Ha! There's only one thing 396 00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:29,918 you haven't thought of, Dr. Chaotica. 397 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:33,748 [laughs] Please, I think of everything at all times. 398 00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:36,272 [laughs] That's what you think. 399 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,187 What are you babbling about, fool? 400 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,189 I am not a Starfleet ensign. 401 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:43,192 I am the son of Captain Proton. 402 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,020 [gasps] No. 403 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,413 [laughs] I got it. 404 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,632 How could that be-be-be? 405 00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,243 - [glitching continues] - It's working. 406 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:53,115 What the hell is wrong with you, Chaotica? 407 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,118 COMPUTER: Alert. Bio-neural systems shutting down. 408 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,424 [glitching]: Wh-Wh-Wh-What? 409 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:58,947 Saints preserve us. 410 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:01,210 I am full of love. 411 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,038 Ooh, I'll cut off your head! 412 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,649 - [screams] - [glitching laugh] 413 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,043 Oh, we did it. We broke Voyager. 414 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,741 What did you do to my beautiful ship? 415 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,178 I used the Neelix cheese. 416 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,049 It gummed up the neural network just the way it likes. 417 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,877 [screams] 418 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,794 [grunts] Let's get this bad boy locked up. 419 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,231 We should still have time to clean before we get to Earth. 420 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,451 Well done. [Groans] 421 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:27,976 Now I have to add another exhibit to the Voyagerstory. 422 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,761 ♪ 423 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,036 FREEMAN: Captain's log, supplemental. 424 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,388 After an embarrassing day 425 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,303 of being merged on a subcellular level 426 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,348 with my senior staff, 427 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,437 we are putting the awkwardness behind us 428 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,352 with a promotion ceremony. 429 00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:58,659 [clears throat] Today's, uh... 430 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,923 frankly bizarre series of Voyagerthemed obstacles 431 00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:06,362 only prove that you are all creative, accomplished officers. 432 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:10,018 Commander, please announce our new lieutenant junior grades. 433 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,542 RANSOM: Ensign Brad Boimler. 434 00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:16,416 [others whooping] 435 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,721 Quick thinking today, Mr. Boimler. 436 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:18,809 Thank you, sir. 437 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:24,293 - Provisional Ensign T'Lyn. - [others whooping] 438 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:27,383 Unexpected, but appreciated. 439 00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,994 - RANSOM: Ensign D'Vana Tendi. - Oh, my gosh! What? No way! 440 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,648 [others cheering] 441 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:34,564 Thank you, sir. Guys, I got a pip! 442 00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,697 All right, that's what I'm talking about. 443 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:40,309 My main objective here is to prove to the High Council 444 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,703 that I should be reinstated to the Vulcan fleet. 445 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,487 But after today, 446 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,881 I have grown to respect your skills as a scientist. 447 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,492 I'm so excited we got promoted together. 448 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:52,321 Now we really can be best science friends. 449 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:55,150 That is not the lesson to take from this moment. 450 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,458 Damn, looks like half of Beta shift will be ensigns no more. 451 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,111 Ooh, let's hit the bar and celebrate. 452 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,636 And, finally, Ensign Beckett Mariner. 453 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,028 - Wait, wh-what? - [gasps] 454 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,465 - [applause] - [laughs] 455 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,423 Sir, I... No, this has to be a mistake. 456 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,512 Congratulations, Lieutenant. 457 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,737 - [door chimes] - Yo, yo. 458 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,391 Sir, this is wrong. 459 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,044 I don't want to get promoted. 460 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,481 I know you don't. 461 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:24,571 Okay, then stop sliding it back to me and throw it out. 462 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,137 Did you know Voyager's full of cameras? 463 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,444 Came in handy when putting together the old mission log. 464 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,360 I saw you help Boimler be the best he could be. 465 00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,970 So what? Boimler loves being encouraged. 466 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,189 It's, like, his favorite thing. 467 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,886 I went back and dug through your record. 468 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,714 You've had a lot of small-minded commanders 469 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,586 who promoted then demoted you. 470 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:42,371 But now, you're with Jack Ransom. 471 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,417 I'm twice as smart as any of those other guys, 472 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:47,202 and I know you just need someone to believe in you. 473 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,856 Consider yourself lucky 474 00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:51,206 that you have an amazing commanding officer. 475 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,382 Sir, I am refusing this promotion. 476 00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:55,428 - You can't do this to me. - No, not gonna hear it. 477 00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,604 - You're dismissed, Lieutenant. - No, this isn't over. 478 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:58,692 I'm not leaving. 479 00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,389 For real. I-I'm staying right here 480 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,739 - until you listen to reason. - [grunts] You do you. 481 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:05,176 - [grunts] Feel the burn. - [groaning] 482 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:12,183 - Mm. - Yeah, I... 483 00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:14,011 I couldn't even talk him out of it. He's such an idiot. 484 00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:15,491 What are you so bummed about? 485 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:16,666 Now we get to be lieutenant JGs together. 486 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,842 [sighs] All of us except Rutherford. 487 00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:21,192 I mean, I did break Voyager. 488 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:23,064 Engineers can't get promoted for breaking stuff. 489 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:24,500 We always fix things. 490 00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,110 Shouldn't you be drunk and chanting 491 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,590 with a fist in the air right now? 492 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:30,550 Come on, no more bunks, no more holodeck duty! 493 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,594 We did it! 494 00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:33,466 I know. I just, I-I can't believe 495 00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,511 we're not lower decks anymore. 496 00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:37,165 We're lieutenant junior grades, 497 00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,515 the least important mid-level officers. 498 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,038 We do all the grunt work with none of the perks. 499 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,431 We're still lower decks. 500 00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:44,868 Yeah, maybe you're right, and-and, hey, 501 00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:47,480 maybe from now on, our lives will be a lot easier. All right. 502 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:48,785 MARINER and BOIMLER: Lower decks! 503 00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,787 ALL: Lower decks! Lower decks! 504 00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,354 - Lower decks! - Come on, T'Lyn. 505 00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,835 Lower decks! Lower decks! 506 00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:56,402 - [chanting continues] - TENDI: This is going to be great! 507 00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:59,579 New jobs and no mysterious threats to get in our way. 508 00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:00,623 GROUP: No mysterious threats! 509 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:12,940 [groans] 510 00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:15,595 Cease that nervous honing and let me sleep. 511 00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,727 I am not nervous. I am restless. 512 00:22:17,771 --> 00:22:20,556 Eager to ram my blade through my enemies. 513 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,819 That's not a blade. It's a spear. 514 00:22:22,863 --> 00:22:25,300 A coward's weapon used to poke a foe at a distance. 515 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,780 It has no honor. 516 00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:30,000 Nobody calls me a coward and lives to tell the tale. 517 00:22:30,044 --> 00:22:31,045 [grunts] 518 00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:33,526 [both grunt] 519 00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:34,962 Are you free for lunch today? 520 00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:37,530 They are serving eyes or hearts or something. 521 00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:39,183 [sighs] I cannot make it. 522 00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:42,622 The captain has ordered me to sit with Commander Vekras 523 00:22:42,665 --> 00:22:45,320 and transcribe his tedious battle tales. 524 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,887 It is a waste of time. 525 00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:50,194 Ma'ah lucked his way into that captain's chair. 526 00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:52,283 He forgets who his true allies are. 527 00:22:52,327 --> 00:22:54,764 He won't be captain much longer. 528 00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:56,418 - [alarm blaring] - [both gasp] 529 00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:59,595 We are in battle. Who was wrong to sharpen their spear now? 530 00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:00,727 [grunts] 531 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,685 ♪ 532 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:09,257 I read one life sign on board, Captain. 533 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,260 Unknown vessel, you have drifted into Klingon space. 534 00:23:12,303 --> 00:23:13,609 Identify yourself. 535 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,136 No response. Should we fire on them? 536 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:22,662 We gain no honor in destroying an incapacitated ship. 537 00:23:22,705 --> 00:23:25,142 Mark their location and resume our course to Qo'noS. 538 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,928 Sir, it's moving. 539 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:30,452 KEY'LOR: They're charging weapons. 540 00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,019 Destroy those qoHpu'. 541 00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:33,977 I said fire. 542 00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:35,152 I'm trying, but weapons are down. 543 00:23:35,196 --> 00:23:36,153 What? 544 00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:37,720 All systems are losing power. 545 00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:38,765 That's impossible. 546 00:23:42,116 --> 00:23:44,031 [all scream] 547 00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:01,135 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 548 00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:48,704 [man imitates weapons firing] 549 00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:51,707 Chirp.