1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ 2 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,860 Ugh, why do we always get cleanup duty 3 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,340 when they've tortured a Reman? 4 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,821 They leave behind the biggest mess. 5 00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:41,998 Sub-Commander Vrek takes pleasure in our misery. 6 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,305 Hopefully, he doesn't get too comfortable, 7 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:47,003 for soon my plans will come to fruition 8 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,571 and his life will be disrupted. 9 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,791 You are betraying Sub-Commander Vrek? 10 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,315 That is a pity 11 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:57,405 because I am already betraying him 12 00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:01,104 and my plans will come to fruition first. 13 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,846 [scoffs] Oh, please, don't make me scoff. 14 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,674 Your plans are barely even schemes. 15 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,720 You wouldn't know a scheme from a conspiracy. 16 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,505 - [alert chiming] - Ooh, an alert. 17 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,637 Our sinister plans will have to wait. 18 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,204 [chuckles] 19 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:17,164 Ugh, Reman juice never comes out. 20 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,295 Status report. 21 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,341 An unknown ship seems to have 22 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,864 intentionally blocked our path. 23 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,431 VREK: How did they detect us? 24 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:27,390 Assassination plots against me are one thing, but sabotage? 25 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,698 Is this your doing, Malok? 26 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,265 How dare you. 27 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:34,006 Of course I crave your demise, but not like... 28 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,313 Silence. I've been stabbing commanders in the back 29 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,186 since before your mother killed her first traitor. 30 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,360 Wipe this crumb 31 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,840 from our path so I can focus 32 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,538 on being suspicious. 33 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,410 Commander, our systems... They're not responding! 34 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,369 That's impossible. Fire disruptors! 35 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,936 No, it's true. Our shields are deactivating. 36 00:01:50,979 --> 00:01:52,155 Go to cloak! [Gasps] 37 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,943 [all scream] 38 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,997 ♪ 39 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,363 ♪ 40 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,439 ♪ 41 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,286 [Shaxs screams] 42 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,983 Let me die! 43 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:24,465 No, no, no. Stay with me, Shaxs. You're gonna get through this. 44 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,162 We're exploring the galactic frontier, 45 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,772 we need to stay flexible. 46 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:30,297 - [grunts] - Wow, you're really tight today. 47 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,994 What's got you so tense, amigo? 48 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,823 [groans] One minute, T'Ana's all over me, 49 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,781 the next, she says I'm too clingy 50 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,392 and she won't come out from under the bed. 51 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,829 Have you tried scratching your fingers on the covers and going 52 00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,309 - "pss-pss-pss-pss"? - Of course I have! 53 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:45,050 [grunts] How's it going with the new lieutenants? 54 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,183 - [grunts] - Good, except for Mariner. 55 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,316 - Mm-hmm. - I've got her right where I want her. 56 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,274 She thinks she knows the score, but trust me, 57 00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:53,363 she won't be my problem for long. 58 00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:55,452 - [both laugh] - [groans] 59 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:58,107 - Hot fudge sundaes after this? - Oh, yeah. 60 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,022 [laughs] Cheat day. 61 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,330 [sighs] 62 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:06,115 We put a lot of light-years on these orange slabs. 63 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,509 [sniffles] I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. 64 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,945 Aw, how could you not? 65 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,599 We spent so much time hanging out, 66 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,079 staying up late ranking captains by cuteness, 67 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,517 swapping bodies because of those cosmic rays. 68 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,822 [shudders] We learned too much about each other that day. 69 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,130 I'm even gonna miss the dent I made from all the times 70 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,524 I slammed my head on the ceiling during a red alert. 71 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,308 [sniffles] Goodbye, Denty. 72 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744 You okay, Mariner? Need any help packing? 73 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,529 No thanks. 74 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,965 Ransom's just gonna knock me back down to ensign anyway. 75 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,619 He promoted you last week. 76 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,707 I just heard him bragging to Shaxs that he's messing with me. 77 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,449 - What? Why? - I mean, who knows. His brain 78 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,581 is, like, the only part of his body he doesn't work out. 79 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,888 But didn't he say he was going to support you? 80 00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:42,499 No, they always do, and then the second I speak my mind? Bam. 81 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,109 Right back to being an ensign. 82 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,155 They always think it's, like, a learning experience. 83 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,852 Wait, is he dumb or playing mind games? 84 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,724 Well, who cares. I'm not falling for it. 85 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,553 Ransom's just waiting for me to mess up, huh? Fine. 86 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,555 I'm gonna become an insubordination supernova 87 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:55,991 and control my own fate. 88 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,558 But you're not actually gonna blow anything up, right? 89 00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,735 No. I'm gonna talk back, break the rules, 90 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,824 crack some inappropriate jokes in front of an ambassador. 91 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:06,523 When I get demoted, it'll be because I earned it. 92 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,003 Well, that should prove to be a disaster. 93 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,091 Should we go check out our rooms? 94 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,354 Yeah, come on Rutherfor... Oh, right. 95 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,573 I'm sorry. 96 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,097 You guys go ahead. I'm still a lowly ensign. 97 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,404 Ugh, I totally forgot you didn't get promoted with us. 98 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,493 You exude lieutenant junior grade energy. 99 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,146 [sighs] I don't know if I'm going to like 100 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,235 not bunking five feet away from you. I mean, how will I sleep 101 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,412 without someone muttering about the warp threshold? 102 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,935 Aw, Tendi, don't worry, 103 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,893 I'll just get a promotion today so I can join you guys. 104 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,548 I... don't know if it's that easy. 105 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,507 I just have to do some amazing engineering. 106 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,073 How hard could it be? 107 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,380 Oof. What I would give for his confidence. 108 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,817 Huh. Maybe you'd have it if you didn't hit your head so much. 109 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,385 [gasps] Don't say stuff like that in front of Denty. 110 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,865 [Tendi laughs] 111 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,962 What up, nerds? 112 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:54,963 Who's ready to get mission-y? 113 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,791 Almost on time, Mariner. Well done. 114 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,836 This is Ensign Gary's first away mission, 115 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,404 so I'd like you to take him under your wing. You know, 116 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,058 once you change into your uniform. 117 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,452 No, you know, I thought I'd keep it "caszh" today. 118 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:08,063 Simple mission, simple outfit. This guy gets it. 119 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,935 Okay. Speaking of the mission, 120 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,503 please fill Ensign Gary in on the particulars. 121 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,331 Can do, hoss. Boom. 122 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,638 Today we're dealing with a classic "menage." 123 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,466 - "Menage"? - A menagerie. 124 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,729 Well, it's basically just a big-ass alien zoo 125 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,513 full of aliens run by another alien. 126 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,123 This one scooped up a couple of humans... 127 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,951 [short chuckle] "by accident," so 128 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,344 we got to bust them the [bleep] out. 129 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,564 Oh, I-I didn't know it would be dangerous. 130 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:34,306 It's not. And this place has a strict no-weapons policy. 131 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,221 Eh, menageries are always capturing humans 132 00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,049 then turning them back over to Starfleet. 133 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:41,052 We'll be in and out, no biggie. Right, Jack? 134 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,663 Let's just get in the shuttle. 135 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,491 Wait, when you're a lieutenant JG 136 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,188 you can call him Jack? 137 00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,494 I always call him Jack because, you know, 138 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,930 socially, we're equals. 139 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,366 Right, Jack? 140 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,846 We're leaving now. 141 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,674 - [chuckles] - BOIMLER: Oh, boy, 142 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,676 Mirror Universe Archer, you're gonna love our new room. 143 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,678 Aah... 144 00:06:57,721 --> 00:07:00,376 [groans] 145 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,986 The nacelle is right there? 146 00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,684 Okay, 147 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,555 not the best view, 148 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,905 but I'm sure I'll get used to it. 149 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,994 Aah! Lil' Archer! Ah... 150 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,346 Take her in nice and easy. 151 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:18,002 Aye aye, sir. Nice and easy. 152 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,266 - What are you doing?! - Slow down, slow down, 153 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,137 slow down! 154 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,573 [grunts] 155 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:25,836 [exclaims] 156 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,359 I don't want to die! 157 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,449 [screams] 158 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,366 - Was that nice and easy enough? - That... 159 00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:37,239 was some great piloting. Let's get to work. 160 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,982 [yelps] I need to replicate some new pants. 161 00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,768 Oh-ho, greetings. 162 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,291 Narj is happy to welcome you 163 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:49,730 to Narj's Miraculous Menagerarium, 164 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,732 recently voted one of the top thousand menageries 165 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:52,950 in the quadrant. 166 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,952 - [whinnies] - Narj will be sad to lose the humans. 167 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,693 They're incredibly popular. 168 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,521 How did they even get locked up here in the first place? 169 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,697 Accidentally scooped up with a shipment of bipedals. 170 00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,003 [laughs] 171 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,788 Narj has to admit that Narj does have a hard time 172 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,355 telling non-botanical creatures apart. 173 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,791 [laughs] Happens all the time. 174 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,880 Humans are always getting stuck in menageries. 175 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,969 But don't worry, I brought my best team with me. 176 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,929 We'll be out of your leaves lickity split. 177 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:17,235 His best team? What the hell is that supposed to mean? 178 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,063 I guess the commander likes us. 179 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,457 What? No, he doesn't. He's messing with me. 180 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,937 He's setting me up for humiliation 181 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,025 when he comes down on me later. 182 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,680 Are you guys breaking up or something? 183 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,812 Yeah, we are, as coworkers. 184 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,422 And we're gonna force it right now. 185 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:31,772 I'm having a little trouble 186 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:32,816 decoding the dynamic here, 187 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,297 but I'd really like to be left out of it. 188 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,823 Hey, Narj. 189 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,609 What got you in the prison business, huh? 190 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,611 Just a cruel weirdo who loves locking people up? 191 00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,048 A prison is a place for criminals. 192 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:50,268 - I've given these sweet creatures a safe home. - What about this little guy? 193 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,575 He doesn't deserve to be in your [bleep]-up hobby. 194 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,621 NARJ: Hobby? The Moopsy is Narj's favorite. 195 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,013 Moopsy. 196 00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,449 Do you imprison everything you like? 197 00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,713 - Of course. - [laughs] Mariner, 198 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,845 it's not our place to judge the menagerie. 199 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,673 We're just here to collect the humans. 200 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,066 No, you're here to collect humans. 201 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,111 I'm here to behuman, 202 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,026 which means calling bull[bleep] when I see it. 203 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,593 Narj does not understand. 204 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,726 Narj abides by Federation law. 205 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,032 [chuckles] Don't worry about it. She's a firebrand, 206 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,947 but I trust her with my life. 207 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,688 No, you're not getting in my head. 208 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,560 Moopsy. 209 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,656 And I can't wait until we're the same rank again because then 210 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,875 we can get back to praising people behind their backs. 211 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,878 [chuckles] I think Boimler's gonna be a great lieutenant. 212 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,663 I don't want you to pressure yourself to get a promotion 213 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,013 just so we can hang out. It can take years. 214 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,929 Don't worry, I've been working on something pretty impressive. 215 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,408 Billups is gonna love it. 216 00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,889 Commander Billups. Can I run something by you, sir? 217 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,761 Of course, Mr. Rutherford. What's up? 218 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,197 For the past year, I've been working 219 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,938 to decrease vibration in the warp manifold 220 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,201 by a factor of .05. 221 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,116 .05? That can't be right. 222 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,640 Well, it wasn't easy, but with a little ingenuity... [chuckles] 223 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,946 BILLUPS: No, I mean it can't be right 224 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,904 because, a few minutes ago, Ensign Livik 225 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,646 decreased the vibration by a factor of .06. 226 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,082 Ensign Livik? Who's that? 227 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,344 - The new guy. - [whooping, cheering] 228 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,911 [chanting]: Livik! Livik! 229 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,521 Livik! Livik! 230 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:10,697 Livik. 231 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,742 [groaning] 232 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,836 Ha! Stupid bussard light. 233 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,316 You ain't so tough now. 234 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,926 I'll tell you, if Livik keeps this up, 235 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,232 he'll have a promotion in no time. 236 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,537 Let's fire up his protocol right now. 237 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,844 I want to see that .06 in action. 238 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,064 [screaming] 239 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,806 Help. 240 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,115 And right this way. 241 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,030 Hello, humans. 242 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,554 Narj hopes you have enjoyed your stay in the "menage." 243 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,775 Now, it is time for you to return to your natural habitat. 244 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,734 I know you're taking a hit losing these guys. 245 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,126 We appreciate the positive attitude. 246 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,781 Not to worry. My real moneymakers 247 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,914 are the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers over there. 248 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,046 [roars] 249 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,526 [whines] 250 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,875 Moopsy. 251 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,224 Hm? 252 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,965 Oh, [bleep]! The Moopsy is free! 253 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,967 Oh, no, your cuddliest prisoner is loose. 254 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,360 Whatever shall we do? 255 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:06,970 NARJ: You don't understand. 256 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,580 Everything here is incredibly dangerous. 257 00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,930 MOOPSY: Moopsy. 258 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,540 RANSOM: Can't be worse than the Swamp Gobblers. 259 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,456 Of course it's worse! They only gobble you. 260 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,197 The Moopsy drinks your bones! 261 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,938 How does something drink bones? 262 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,680 [roars] 263 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,899 Holy [bleep]! 264 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,596 NARJ: Run! Run for your lives! 265 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,295 [others screaming] 266 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,430 [fussing] 267 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,302 Moopsy. 268 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,347 RUTHERFORD: Come on, come on, come on, show me that sweet 269 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,914 incremental improvement. 270 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,220 Yes! 271 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,265 Commander Billups? You might want to sit down. 272 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,006 I increased the power output 273 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,661 of the Tucker Tubes by seven pico-cochrans. 274 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,271 That's great, Rutherford. 275 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,273 I just hope those adjustments can apply to the Billups Tubes. 276 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,361 The what now? 277 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,320 Ensign Livik figured out how to add 278 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,975 a third tube without triggering a Heisenberg collapse. 279 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,193 A third tube? 280 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,979 Yeah, and he named it the Billups Tubes. 281 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545 [laughs] Classic Livik. 282 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:01,982 -I-I don't even know what we use these for, -[grunts] 283 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:02,939 but I love them. 284 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,811 - GROUP [chanting]: Livik! Livik! - Livik. 285 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:09,598 Wow, so close to the holodecks. This is gonna be awesome. 286 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,862 [sighs] That's more like it. 287 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,951 Thanks for helping me get my new quarters, sir. 288 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,605 Happy to help, baby bear. 289 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,129 Well, have fun getting settled in. I've got to run. 290 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,697 Dr. T'Ana and I have a date on the holodeck. 291 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,133 Have fun. 292 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,483 You ready to get disgusting? 293 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:28,182 Has that ever stopped you before? 294 00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:33,491 T'ANA: Computer, activate T'Ana program 35. 295 00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:36,973 Uh, how thin are these walls? 296 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,192 ROBIN HOOD: With me, my merry men. 297 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,933 We must make haste to the castle 298 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,717 to save the Maid Marion. 299 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,458 Ow! What are you doing? 300 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,069 T'ANA: Shut your [bleep] face. I'm Robin Hood now. 301 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,593 Toodley doo! Shaxs, hold him down. 302 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,378 SHAXS: You've already hurt him pretty bad. 303 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,815 - T'ANA: Kick his head! - ROBIN HOOD: Help! A cat 304 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:56,253 - has stolen my hat and arrows. - [thumping] 305 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,603 SHAXS: Can't we just do the program as intended for once? 306 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,388 T'ANA: Oh! 307 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,520 - [loud banging] - [sighs, clears throat] - [microphone feedback] 308 00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:05,045 FREEMAN: And now that I am president 309 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,481 -of all Starfleet, -[groans] 310 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,091 allow me to present 311 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,877 my inaugural scatting. [scatting] 312 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,618 Why is there a room between two holodecks? 313 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,229 - T'ANA: Don't make me arrow you! - [scatting continues] 314 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,491 SHAXS: Ow! Stop that. 315 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,232 - T'ANA: Make me! - SHAXS: Ow! 316 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:20,060 T'ANA: I steal from the [bleep] and give to my [bleep]! 317 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,062 [Narj screaming] 318 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,240 [fussing] 319 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,937 Moopsy. 320 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,460 [all panting] 321 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,984 [screams] 322 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,422 [thud] 323 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,728 [grunts] 324 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:39,731 So much... [gasps] for these new pants. 325 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:40,907 MARINER: Uh, no-weapons policy 326 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,952 in a death-trap zoo? [bleep] genius. 327 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,999 - What's your problem? - Do I really have to say it? 328 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,696 Wait, you think I let that thing out? 329 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,393 You've been pulling insubordinate crap all day. 330 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:50,568 Oh, that is rich. 331 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:51,613 You're the one who let 332 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,223 a bone-eating monster out of its cage. 333 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,529 Uh, Narj will make sure the Moopsy 334 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,096 is still attacking the door. 335 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,488 Yeah, I've been pushing your buttons, because 336 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,316 I knew you were looking for a reason to demote me, 337 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,057 and of course it's for something I didn't even do. 338 00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,580 Wait, why would I want to demote you? 339 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:05,714 Gee, I don't know, how about our entire working relationship? 340 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,194 What? I'm a good boss. 341 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:09,065 You stabbed me in the foot with a battle blade, 342 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,286 you-you turned into a giant head and tried to eat me, 343 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,722 you tried to trick me into messing up 344 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,506 - on that space elevator... - That was an orbital lift. 345 00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,813 And then, after you promised you would believe in me, 346 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,032 I heard you tell Shaxs in the gym 347 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,903 that I wasn't gonna be your problem anymore. 348 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,036 W-What? The gym? You heard that? 349 00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,559 Ha! You admit it. 350 00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,127 All I meant is that you're not gonna be my problem 351 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,390 because I'm not gonna take the bait with your insubordination. 352 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,174 Bait? What-what are you talking about? 353 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,219 Ugh, it's all in your file. 354 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,003 You've been promoted a dozen times, 355 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,136 then you always get demoted for acting out. 356 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,051 - Yeah, 'cause I'm a, you know, I'm a free spirt. - No. 357 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:40,401 Because you're manipulating your commanding officers. 358 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,403 I'm gonna be the first one who doesn't fall for it. 359 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,970 Trust me, it's not easy. 360 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,407 [scoffs] I do not try to get demoted. 361 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,409 What have you been doing all day? 362 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,411 No. I... I was... You... 363 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,369 Uh... Okay, fine, that was just today. 364 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,763 - You always do. - No, I don't. I... 365 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:57,113 Shut up. [Sighs] 366 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,115 - Why would I do that? - I don't know. 367 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:02,031 But I'm sorry to say you still have my unwavering support, 368 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,598 no matter how hard you make it. 369 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,382 [sighs] 370 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,818 I didn't let the Moopsy out. 371 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,559 I believe you. 372 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,518 Okay. Thank you. 373 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,868 I'm glad you two worked your whole thing out, 374 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,262 but can we maybe focus on the bone-drinking monster 375 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,307 this plant guy probably set loose? 376 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,527 You accuse Narj of Moopsy freeing? 377 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,268 Narj would never do such a thing. 378 00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:24,184 Not even if we got killed and you kept your valuable humans? 379 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,490 Plus, you're a tree... you probably don't even have bones. 380 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,971 Ridiculous! Narj is ossified. Narj... 381 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,103 - [gasps] - Hm? 382 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,235 Moopsy. 383 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,540 - [growls] - [screaming] 384 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,197 GARY: It's chugging him! 385 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,679 Wait, the door. 386 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,466 - [yawns] - Phew, no ladders. 387 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,120 Now it can't get back through those vents. 388 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,774 Yeah. Now it's trapped in the... 389 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,864 station's main control room. 390 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,955 Moopsy. 391 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,752 Ah, this is perfect. 392 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,841 A nice, dark Jefferies Tube 393 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,670 where we can't hear anyone decapitate Peter Pan. 394 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,889 Ah, this is much better than the bunks. 395 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,239 - Hey, Boimler. - Aah! 396 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,240 What you doing in here? 397 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,545 Hey, Rutherford. 398 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:25,245 Uh, I live here now. You doing a systems check? 399 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:26,855 Nah, I'm trying to find a way to diffuse heat conduction 400 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,248 by a few nanojoules. 401 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,380 Oh, some ensign just came through here 402 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,382 doing the exact same thing. 403 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,123 Seemed like a real wunderkind. I was impressed. 404 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,516 [scoffs] Livik. 405 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,432 Leave some minor improvements for the rest of us, guy! 406 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,042 - Dinner later? - Sure. 407 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,698 [Gary screaming] 408 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,265 Hey, calm down. 409 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,876 You calm down! If you two hadn't been bickering, 410 00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,313 we wouldn't be falling into a planet! 411 00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,923 Nobody's dying today 412 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,274 because I'm gonna crawl through the vents, unlock the door, 413 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,405 and get the Moopsy to chase me out, 414 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,711 so you two can rush in and stabilize 415 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,582 the orbit while it drinks my bones. 416 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,280 - [grunts] - Stand down, Mariner. 417 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,455 Jack, we are plummeting. 418 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,457 Even if this works, we'll only stop re-entry 419 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,198 by the skin of our teeth. 420 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,722 Wait, that's it. Mariner, 421 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,028 punch me in the face. 422 00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:11,377 That's an order, Lieutenant. 423 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,944 Okay. [Grunts] 424 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,338 Come on, as hard as you can. [grunts] 425 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,297 [grunts] 426 00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:18,646 - That thing wants bones? - [exclaiming] 427 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:19,820 We'll give it bones. 428 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,300 MARINER: Oh, you're a genius. 429 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,346 - [grunting] - [both laughing] 430 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:28,176 I should have been an outpost scientist. 431 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,310 - [panting] - Wait, Rutherford, 432 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,876 you've been working yourself to death all day. 433 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,661 - You don't have to do this. - No. 434 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,315 This time I nailed it. 435 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,143 I sped up the replicators by nine whole femtoseconds. 436 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,883 I'm definitely getting a promotion now. 437 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:41,451 You and I'll be the same rank and stay friends forever. 438 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,931 Billups. Whew. It took an unbelievable 439 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,802 amount of engineering, but I finally 440 00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,717 - managed... - I'm sure whatever you did is great, Mr. Rutherford, 441 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,329 - but it'll have to wait until after the pip ceremony. - Huh? 442 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,112 [cheering] 443 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,855 Livik! 444 00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,381 I'm sorry, Tendi. 445 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,688 I let you down. 446 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:03,256 - Mr. Rutherford, stand at attention. - What? 447 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,736 I am your superior, Ensign. Do it. 448 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,651 We'll be friends no matter what our ranks are. 449 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,392 We're going to spend tons of time hanging out 450 00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,612 and talking about science and telling jokes and, you know, 451 00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,831 do all the things we used to do. And that's an order. 452 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,443 - Yes, ma'am. - [both laugh] 453 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,358 Oh, my gosh, I just gave my first order. 454 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,925 - Oh. - Man, now I wish 455 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,580 I hadn't turned down all those promotions. 456 00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,625 Sorry, what? 457 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,061 You know, for saving the Cerritos 458 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,236 from the Pakleds 459 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,890 and the Rubidoux from the space jellyfish, 460 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,934 stuff like that. 461 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,023 Wait, why did you turn them all down? 462 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,635 [sighs] Because I didn't want my own room 463 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,202 where I wouldn't be near you. 464 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:39,814 Aw, Rutherford, but can't you just go accept one right now? 465 00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:42,251 Nah, they took it really seriously in engineering. 466 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,384 - You have to earn it with a scientific... - Hey, Billups! 467 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:45,428 Can Rutherford have his promotion 468 00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,256 for that time he removed the hull? 469 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,694 Oh, sure. Ah, sorry, Livik, maybe next time. 470 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,438 Wait, I can just ask for stuff I deserve? 471 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,659 -I guess. -[chanting]: Rutherford! Rutherford! 472 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,836 Hooray! [Laughs, whoops] Thanks, everyone. 473 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,447 Rutherford. 474 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,406 And also Tendi. 475 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,147 [alarm blaring] 476 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,413 Moopsy. 477 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,505 [grunting] 478 00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,511 Moopsy. 479 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:27,601 [grunts] Got you, you cuddly little murderer. 480 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,821 [laughs] We say-bih-eye da say-sa orbih! 481 00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,475 [snorts] What's that, Gummy? 482 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,260 We stabilized the station's orbit. 483 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:37,567 Oh, man, victory really is that much sweeter 484 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,265 when you almost got killed. 485 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,614 I just wish we could have figured out 486 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,703 how this little guy got out in the first place. 487 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,966 I mean, it clearly wasn't Narj, dude was brimming with bones. 488 00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,402 [lisping]: Let's get these humans 489 00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,535 out of here. Starfleet security can figure it out. 490 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,798 Well, at least it wasn't our fault. 491 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,626 You know, humans are always being blamed 492 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:55,716 for being dangerous, but we don't have claws or fangs 493 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,021 - or... - Hey, that umbrella 494 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,632 is upside down, yeah? 495 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,074 Did you [bleep] rewire the Moopsy door? 496 00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,163 - You could've got us all killed. - RANSOM: Wow. 497 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,340 I guess humans really are the most dangerous game. 498 00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,299 Damn it. 499 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,128 MARINER: Lieutenant junior grade's log.. 500 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:20,001 Nope, no, too weird. Uh, let's go with. 501 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,917 Mariner's log. So, yeah, of course 502 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,310 it was the humans in the menagerie 503 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:25,963 that set the Moopsy free. 504 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,052 They'd seen how profitable they were as an attraction, 505 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:31,186 so they wanted to kill Narj and keep the station for themselve. 506 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,493 Humans... we really are the worst. 507 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:34,885 - [laughs] - MARINER: So, anyway, 508 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,366 instead of bringing them to theCerritos, we left them 509 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,934 in the menagerie until somebody else has time to pick them up. 510 00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,327 Could take a while. 511 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,503 As for Ransom, it took some doing, 512 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,505 but Dr. T'Ana was able to fix him up 513 00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:46,897 with a new set of chompers. 514 00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:48,595 Just don't eat any hard stuff for a few days 515 00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:51,119 while the veneers set. Now, if you'll excuse me, 516 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:53,034 I have to go kill the sheriff of Nottingham 517 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,427 for being a little [bleep] face. 518 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,689 [laughs] 519 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,995 So, uh, sorry I knocked all your teeth out. 520 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,736 I ended up only needing, like, ten of them. 521 00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:02,130 I was just happy you were following my orders. 522 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:04,175 I'm sorry I doubted you, sir. 523 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:06,308 I haven't always been the most supportive over the years, 524 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,354 but at least now you know I'm definitely not gonna let you 525 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,920 self-sabotage anymore. 526 00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:12,358 So, maybe we can cool it on the reign of terror. 527 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:15,056 Yeah. Yeah. That'll be, uh, interesting. 528 00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:16,144 Trust me, Mariner, 529 00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,146 you're gonna be a great officer. 530 00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:19,887 Just like me. 531 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,195 - Congrats on the promotion, man. - Thanks. 532 00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:25,806 And great call on us being roommates. 533 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,982 We're gonna get even better quarters than if we were alone. 534 00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:30,550 Oh, really? No way. 535 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,768 [chuckles] Aah! 536 00:21:31,812 --> 00:21:34,205 No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening. 537 00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,468 Whoa! That's bright. 538 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,209 Just got to dim the view ports, 539 00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:40,168 and we're all set. 540 00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,822 [whimpers] 541 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,215 Hope you don't mind me tinkering on projects all night. Ow! 542 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:47,131 [chuckles] If you see any sparks, just stamp them out. 543 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,350 [sighs] 544 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,134 Ooh! Ah... 545 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:53,921 Huh. 546 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,270 You know what? 547 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,925 This is already starting to feel like home. 548 00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:03,365 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 549 00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,291 [man imitates weapons firing] 550 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,252 Chirp.