1 00:00:02,284 --> 00:00:04,024 ♪ 2 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:32,314 We've arrived in the Portelo system, Captain. 3 00:00:32,357 --> 00:00:34,185 Any idea what we're supposed to be doing? 4 00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:36,753 Starfleet was unusually tight-lipped on the details. 5 00:00:36,796 --> 00:00:39,364 The whole mission's classified. 6 00:00:39,408 --> 00:00:40,583 Take us in. 7 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,543 MARINER: I wonder what the big mystery is. 8 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,676 Ugh, I hope it's not a Romulan Neutral Zone thing. 9 00:00:46,719 --> 00:00:47,851 Spy stuff's so boring. 10 00:00:47,894 --> 00:00:50,027 -[device trills] -Uh, ah, ah, man. 11 00:00:50,071 --> 00:00:52,464 Whatever it is, I have to start with holodeck waste removal. 12 00:00:52,508 --> 00:00:53,639 -Blech. -TENDI: I don't know, 13 00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:54,814 but I can't wait to find out with you. 14 00:00:54,858 --> 00:00:56,903 'Sup, ladies? How's science? 15 00:00:56,947 --> 00:00:59,732 We just catalogued some pretty cool hydrogen samples. 16 00:00:59,776 --> 00:01:02,648 Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. 17 00:01:02,692 --> 00:01:04,302 Sweet. See you guys at lunch. 18 00:01:04,346 --> 00:01:07,044 Boimler, make sure you shower first. Holodeck duty. 19 00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,307 Your odor will be repulsive. 20 00:01:09,351 --> 00:01:11,353 Oh, thank you so much, T'Lyn. 21 00:01:11,396 --> 00:01:12,963 You are welcome. 22 00:01:16,227 --> 00:01:18,054 -[grunts] -Oh-ho-ho. 23 00:01:18,099 --> 00:01:20,405 Don't get too used to this kind of work, Mr. Boimler. 24 00:01:20,449 --> 00:01:23,365 Promotions are coming up, and I think you'll be very happy. 25 00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:25,149 Wait, really? I-I... [clears throat] 26 00:01:25,193 --> 00:01:27,020 I'm getting a promotion? 27 00:01:27,064 --> 00:01:28,761 As long as nothing goes sideways today, 28 00:01:28,804 --> 00:01:30,328 you'll be a lieutenant junior grade. 29 00:01:30,372 --> 00:01:32,678 -But stuff always goes sideways. -Relax. 30 00:01:32,722 --> 00:01:34,898 You'd have to screw up in a historically significant way 31 00:01:34,941 --> 00:01:37,205 -to mess this one up. -Okay, yeah. 32 00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:39,642 What are the odds of that? [laughs] Oh, oh! 33 00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:40,991 [yelps] 34 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,514 Uh... [whimpers] 35 00:01:47,389 --> 00:01:50,304 Approaching the mystery station, Captain. 36 00:01:50,348 --> 00:01:52,176 I hope this isn't a Romulan thing. 37 00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:54,831 -I hate the Neutral Zone. -Right? Thank you. 38 00:01:54,874 --> 00:01:57,268 Sorry for the secrecy, Captain, 39 00:01:57,312 --> 00:01:59,444 but after all these years, we finally finished. 40 00:01:59,488 --> 00:02:02,839 [clears throat] Beljo Tweekle, curator and historian. 41 00:02:02,882 --> 00:02:05,494 Curator? What, are we transporting some type of art? 42 00:02:05,537 --> 00:02:07,365 [scoffs] Perhaps the most beautiful work of art 43 00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:08,845 in Starfleet history. 44 00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:17,027 [gasps] Oh, my God, we get to do something on Voyager? 45 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:20,161 Uh, you know, 'cause, I mean, Boimler's gonna flip. [chuckles] 46 00:02:26,384 --> 00:02:28,386 ♪ 47 00:02:57,459 --> 00:02:59,461 ♪ 48 00:03:29,055 --> 00:03:31,057 ♪ 49 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:40,066 FREEMAN: Captain's log, stardate 58724.. 50 00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:42,112 In a pleasant surprise, theCerritos has been tasked 51 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,550 with transporting the USSVoyager. 52 00:03:45,594 --> 00:03:48,292 Captain Janeway and her crew spent seven years 53 00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,425 trying to get home from the Delta Quadrant, 54 00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:54,342 and they became Federation history in the process. 55 00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:57,040 Since their return, Voyager has been decommissioned 56 00:03:57,083 --> 00:04:00,086 and preserved for future generations. 57 00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,480 Her first stop is Starfleet Command, 58 00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:03,960 where she'll spend some time on the ground 59 00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:05,527 before being permanently 60 00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:07,050 -stationed in orbit. -[yelps] 61 00:04:07,093 --> 00:04:08,834 -[grunts] -CURATOR: Careful. 62 00:04:08,878 --> 00:04:10,488 That's a mission-worn uniform. 63 00:04:10,532 --> 00:04:13,665 My legacy depends on everything making it to Earth 64 00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:15,363 in pristine condition. 65 00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:17,843 Unzak, when he guided the florkas to their roost. 66 00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:20,542 Whatever. Just don't touch anything. 67 00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:22,500 -Oopsie-doodle. -CURATOR: What are you doing? 68 00:04:22,544 --> 00:04:24,633 Just taking a peek at the bio-neural circuitry. 69 00:04:24,676 --> 00:04:26,330 One time, Neelix had this cheese, 70 00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:27,679 and the bacteria almost destroyed... 71 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:29,812 I know all about the Neelix cheese. 72 00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:31,640 There's a whole display for it on Deck Seven. 73 00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:33,206 Don't open panels. 74 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,034 The ship was damaged by cheese? 75 00:04:35,078 --> 00:04:37,602 It's Voyager. [bleep] got freaky. 76 00:04:39,865 --> 00:04:42,825 Hmm. This ship is outdated and smells like Borg. 77 00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:44,566 What about Tuvok? 78 00:04:44,609 --> 00:04:46,045 You must be excited to see his quarters. 79 00:04:46,089 --> 00:04:47,960 Perhaps. Are they austere? 80 00:04:48,004 --> 00:04:50,963 These boxes are for a rotating exhibit. 81 00:04:51,007 --> 00:04:54,619 Store them on the Cerritos, and please be careful. 82 00:04:54,663 --> 00:04:57,143 Are you chewing gum? 83 00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,755 TENDI: Ooh, after this, you want to get 84 00:04:59,798 --> 00:05:02,148 a head start on tomorrow's titrations with me? 85 00:05:02,192 --> 00:05:04,368 [gasps] We can label the test tubes. 86 00:05:04,412 --> 00:05:06,327 T'LYN: I do enjoy an accurate label. 87 00:05:09,286 --> 00:05:11,941 [air whistling] 88 00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,986 ♪ 89 00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:20,776 There we go, all calibrated. 90 00:05:20,819 --> 00:05:22,908 Hey, Doc, uh, want a ride back? 91 00:05:22,952 --> 00:05:24,345 [grunts] Beats taking a shuttle. 92 00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:27,696 BILLUPS: You know, growing up, I had a dragon named Fiddlesticks. 93 00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:29,088 He was such a good boy. 94 00:05:29,132 --> 00:05:30,655 He protected me from all sorts of affectionate... 95 00:05:30,699 --> 00:05:32,309 Oh [bleep]. Why is it people 96 00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:34,616 always have to tell me about their [bleep] pets? 97 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,052 Right. Sorry. 98 00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:37,532 Cerritos,two to beam up. 99 00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:39,403 LUNDY [over comms]: Copy, Commander. Energizing. 100 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,233 -[computer trills] -Something is wrong, sir. 101 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,540 -There's only one pattern. -[gasps] 102 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:48,543 [yowls] What the [bleep]? 103 00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:50,675 Where am I? And, uh... 104 00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:51,981 who am I? 105 00:05:52,024 --> 00:05:54,853 Captain, we have a problem. 106 00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:05,777 Something over there caused Billups and Dr. T'Ana 107 00:06:05,821 --> 00:06:07,126 to merge in the transporter. 108 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,651 He's calling himself T'Illups. 109 00:06:09,694 --> 00:06:12,523 This exact scenario happened to the Voyagercrew. 110 00:06:12,567 --> 00:06:15,134 Everything is falling apart! 111 00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:16,571 No need for panic. 112 00:06:16,614 --> 00:06:18,660 I'm sure I can deal with this transporter situation 113 00:06:18,703 --> 00:06:19,965 -on my own. -T'ILLUPS: Oh... 114 00:06:20,009 --> 00:06:22,664 Just send me a copy of Janeway's logs. 115 00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:24,056 I'll do whatever she did. 116 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,232 Sending now. Thank you, Captain. 117 00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:33,370 She knows Janeway straight up murdered Tuvix, right? 118 00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:34,980 Huh? Oh, I-I don't know. 119 00:06:35,024 --> 00:06:36,678 What? Yes, you do. You're a know-it-all. 120 00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:37,940 Get your head in the game. 121 00:06:37,983 --> 00:06:39,768 This is a historically significant mission. 122 00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:41,160 It's Voy,man. 123 00:06:41,204 --> 00:06:43,032 I mean, it's not that historically significant. 124 00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:44,642 What? Yes, it is. 125 00:06:44,686 --> 00:06:46,644 [groans] I'm gonna make sure going to warp 126 00:06:46,688 --> 00:06:48,254 didn't knock anything over. 127 00:06:48,298 --> 00:06:50,039 We've got inertial dampeners. I'm sure everything is fine. 128 00:06:50,082 --> 00:06:53,259 It won't be fine until we're on the ground. [yells] 129 00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:56,132 Relax. They design these things to survive a photon blast. 130 00:06:56,175 --> 00:06:58,787 Oops. Uh, let me just... Wait. 131 00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:01,354 There's something behind the neural gel. [gasps] 132 00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:02,530 -[yelping, gasping] -Somebody phaser it! 133 00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:03,835 Look out! 134 00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:05,228 Oh, God, it's on me! 135 00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:06,359 Ugh, don't let it infect you. 136 00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:08,318 -Don't shoot. -Why not? 137 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,189 It's a Tak Takian macrovirus. 138 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,495 It must've been dormant. 139 00:07:11,539 --> 00:07:13,715 Macrovirus? Is it making me sick? 140 00:07:13,758 --> 00:07:16,152 Everyone got inoculated years ago. It can't hurt you. 141 00:07:16,195 --> 00:07:18,676 But it is perfect for the museum. 142 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,939 Good virus. Just stay right there. 143 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,551 Temba, his arms wide. 144 00:07:23,594 --> 00:07:24,682 [gasps] 145 00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:29,252 They're spraying DNA on my babies. 146 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,341 -Don't let them off the bridge. -Right, um, so... 147 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,734 Just stand in front of the door. 148 00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:35,824 [screams] 149 00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,696 -Boimler, are you kidding me? -Come on, man. 150 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,611 Shaka, when the walls fell, Ensign. 151 00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:44,006 -Sokath, his eyes uncovered. -I pay attention. 152 00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:45,877 -[glass shatters] -[alarm blaring] 153 00:07:47,226 --> 00:07:48,880 How can you be this distracted over an empty ship? 154 00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:51,753 Uh, you know, Chakotay served here. 155 00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:54,277 Dude, this is nothing compared to, you know, that Pike thing 156 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,844 we aren't supposed to talk about. 157 00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:57,889 Let's get these chunky cold sores under control 158 00:07:57,933 --> 00:07:59,761 so we can get back to enjoying this. 159 00:07:59,804 --> 00:08:01,110 RANSOM: They're self-replicating again! 160 00:08:01,153 --> 00:08:02,198 -Mr. Boimler, get out here. -[gasps] 161 00:08:02,241 --> 00:08:03,504 This is your fault. 162 00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:07,116 T'ILLUPS: I told you, I feel [bleep] great. 163 00:08:07,159 --> 00:08:08,944 Here, let me boost the range on that scanner. 164 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:10,946 He's been symbiogenetically merged 165 00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:12,774 on a subcellular level, Captain. 166 00:08:12,817 --> 00:08:14,950 It's called being Tuvixed. 167 00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:16,734 The same thing happened to Commander Tuvok 168 00:08:16,778 --> 00:08:17,866 and Neelix back in the '70s. 169 00:08:17,909 --> 00:08:19,345 They beamed out with this flower, 170 00:08:19,389 --> 00:08:21,217 and it caused them to merge into Tuvix, 171 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,436 a combination of their DNA and memories. 172 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,874 [gasps] That orchid was in one of the boxes we moved. 173 00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,832 It must've gotten into the transporter. 174 00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:30,400 And that's how T'Illups was born. 175 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:33,751 Captain, I caution against socializing with the organism. 176 00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:36,319 Organism? [scoffs] I'm a totally unique sentient being. 177 00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:37,668 Plus, I'm cool as [bleep]. 178 00:08:37,712 --> 00:08:39,147 We're gonna be best friends fast. 179 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:41,280 Yeah, T'Lyn, it doesn't hurt to be friendly, 180 00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:43,761 since Mr. T'Illups didn't ask to be created. 181 00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,023 Sure didn't, but here I am. 182 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,373 I love being alive. 183 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:49,680 Well, I'm sure that Janeway had a solution to this. 184 00:08:49,724 --> 00:08:51,334 [chuckles] I'll be back shortly. 185 00:08:52,553 --> 00:08:55,120 How many physical memories 186 00:08:55,164 --> 00:08:57,470 do you have from before? 187 00:08:59,516 --> 00:09:01,823 [gasping, whimpering] 188 00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:03,433 Don't let them touch the exhibits! 189 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,869 No! 190 00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:07,480 [computer trills] 191 00:09:07,524 --> 00:09:09,657 COMPUTER: Initiating programs Chaotica, 192 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,354 Clown and Michael Sullivan. 193 00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:13,878 Safety protocols set to random. 194 00:09:13,922 --> 00:09:16,141 Random? No. Computer, set them to safety. 195 00:09:16,185 --> 00:09:19,275 -Ooh. [laughs] -Surrender now, 196 00:09:19,318 --> 00:09:21,973 or face the wrath of Chaotica. 197 00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:23,845 [panting, whimpering] 198 00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,498 These are, like, Voy'sdeepest cuts. 199 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:27,457 Not as deep as my cuts. Yah! 200 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,285 -[laughs] -[grunts] 201 00:09:30,591 --> 00:09:33,071 [grunts] How are these guys even getting off the holodeck? 202 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:35,291 I installed holo-emitters all over the ship. 203 00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:37,162 I thought you were preserving, not adding. 204 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:39,730 Oh, subtle updates that don't impact historical consistency 205 00:09:39,774 --> 00:09:42,733 are an acceptable compromise for conservation. 206 00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,039 Wha... Chaotica isn't subtle, 207 00:09:44,082 --> 00:09:45,867 and the Clown wasn't even a holodeck pro... 208 00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:47,346 [moans] 209 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:49,479 I love you, but I can't be with you. 210 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,567 Ooh, I like this guy, though. 211 00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:52,830 [Clown laughing] 212 00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:54,136 -[panting] -[others gasp] 213 00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:56,268 -Watch out! The Borg display! -I got it! 214 00:09:56,311 --> 00:09:57,661 [screams] 215 00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:00,446 [whimpers, screams] 216 00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:03,928 That promotion is starting to seem 217 00:10:03,972 --> 00:10:06,148 a little less likely, Mr. Boimler. 218 00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:08,324 -[sighs] -[curator screaming] 219 00:10:13,285 --> 00:10:14,852 Did Janeway figure it out? 220 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,898 No, she just murdered him. 221 00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:18,290 [stammers] There has to be more to it. 222 00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,858 She isolated the genomes and split 'em up. 223 00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:22,294 He begged her to live. 224 00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:25,036 Holy [bleep]. Janeway didn't mess around. 225 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,908 [sighs] I don't want to kill the guy. 226 00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:28,431 I mean, he didn't do anything wrong. 227 00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:30,389 We aren't stranded in the Delta Quadrant. 228 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,304 We could take him to Earth and get some help. 229 00:10:32,348 --> 00:10:34,045 Good call. Let's hurry. 230 00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:36,787 Captain, do you think Dr. T'Ana will be okay? 231 00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:39,007 [sighs] I think so, but it didn't take us long 232 00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:40,878 to look up Janeway's solution. 233 00:10:40,922 --> 00:10:43,315 Let's just hope Mr. T'Illups doesn't do the same. 234 00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:45,578 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 235 00:10:52,673 --> 00:10:55,197 Dr. Migleemo, I need your help, uh, 236 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,938 processing my existence. 237 00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:58,417 MIGLEEMO [over comms]: Oh, what a dream. 238 00:10:58,461 --> 00:11:01,159 Don't do any self-care until I get there. 239 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,858 CURATOR: Help! [screams] Help! 240 00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:06,251 I can feel it trying to regenerate me. 241 00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:08,601 Uh, maybe if I cut power, we can... [screams] 242 00:11:08,645 --> 00:11:09,994 Stop helping, Ensign Boimler. 243 00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,561 Why don't you take a break. 244 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:12,910 [grunting] 245 00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:17,219 The alcove's activated. Look. 246 00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:19,656 MARINER: What the hell is that? 247 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,180 RUTHERFORD: It's a Borg nanite. We must have missed one. 248 00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:25,096 BOIMLER: It's supposed to be microscopic. 249 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,098 It must have assimilated to the macrovirus. 250 00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:29,100 RANSOM: It's a macro-nanite? 251 00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:31,755 -[Clowns laughing] -Congratulations. 252 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:33,757 You've won more Clowns. 253 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:35,411 I can't resist your touch. 254 00:11:35,454 --> 00:11:36,760 -Let me hold you. -Computer! 255 00:11:36,804 --> 00:11:37,935 Delete this guy. Come on, computer. 256 00:11:37,979 --> 00:11:40,938 -[laughing] -[screams] 257 00:11:40,982 --> 00:11:42,461 [whimpers] 258 00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:48,076 We just want to talk, Mr. T'Illups. 259 00:11:48,119 --> 00:11:49,860 T'ILLUPS: I don't think so. You're gonna kill me. 260 00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:52,994 I promise you I'm not killing anyone, 261 00:11:53,037 --> 00:11:54,343 but I am coming in. 262 00:11:54,386 --> 00:11:55,866 T'ILLUPS: Help! 263 00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:57,085 She's trying to kill me! 264 00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,651 We're going to figure this out. 265 00:11:58,695 --> 00:12:01,045 What? I can't hear you. 266 00:12:01,089 --> 00:12:03,961 The Cerritosisn't stuck in the Delta Quadrant, 267 00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:05,876 and Starfleet has the best doctors in the... 268 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,356 I know how this goes down. 269 00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:10,446 -[both gasp] -Which is why I need allies. 270 00:12:10,489 --> 00:12:12,056 [Freeman and Shaxs gasp] 271 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,362 FREEMAN: No, wait! 272 00:12:13,405 --> 00:12:14,450 [screams] 273 00:12:14,493 --> 00:12:19,455 Behold, Captain Dr. Frigleeman. 274 00:12:19,498 --> 00:12:22,806 Bring me more scrumptious senior staff. 275 00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:25,026 That's an order. 276 00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:25,853 No! 277 00:12:26,897 --> 00:12:29,421 Water, room temperature. 278 00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:32,337 So, you're really okay with killing T'Illups? 279 00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:35,993 I am here to hydrate, not debate on an anomaly's agency. 280 00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:38,213 Well, I don't know. I just don't think it's ethical 281 00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:40,302 to end someone's life to get our friends back. 282 00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,391 I hardly know anyone here at all. 283 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:44,741 -I am impartial. -But we're friends. 284 00:12:44,785 --> 00:12:46,308 [chuckles] Right? 285 00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:47,700 -[weapon fires] -[gasps] 286 00:12:47,744 --> 00:12:51,008 -[people screaming] -The bartender. 287 00:12:51,052 --> 00:12:52,444 Tuvix him with Lundy. 288 00:12:52,488 --> 00:12:54,011 [gasps] 289 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,665 [people screaming] 290 00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:58,581 [door whooshes open] 291 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:01,062 TENDI: He's making more hybrids. 292 00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,325 That appears to be an accurate assessment. 293 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:06,763 [grunts] 294 00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:10,245 My career is ruined! 295 00:13:10,288 --> 00:13:12,290 [crying] 296 00:13:18,427 --> 00:13:20,995 [groans] Some of this stuff got in my mouth. 297 00:13:21,038 --> 00:13:22,997 I'm getting you out of here. Just hang tight. 298 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,042 Dude, you don't need me. 299 00:13:25,086 --> 00:13:27,305 Did Chaotica's ray gun steal all your confidence or something? 300 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:28,654 No, I'm just... [sighs] 301 00:13:28,698 --> 00:13:30,047 -I'm having an off day. -Ugh! 302 00:13:30,091 --> 00:13:32,093 This was supposed to be fun, and you ruined it. 303 00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:34,399 -Voyager'sjust a ship, man. -[sighs] It's not that. 304 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:35,661 [sighs] 305 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:37,359 Ransom was gonna promote me today, 306 00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:39,100 but I don't want it. 307 00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:40,231 What are you talking about? 308 00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:41,363 Did you eat some of that virus slime? 309 00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:43,408 I'm worried it'll be like the Titan. 310 00:13:43,452 --> 00:13:45,715 It took us months to repair our friendship. 311 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,325 I... I can't do that again. 312 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,240 [scoffs] This is a totally different situation. 313 00:13:49,284 --> 00:13:51,547 It's not just that. I should've believed you 314 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,549 when the captain sent you to Starbase 80. 315 00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:56,204 I have bad judgment. I-I don't deserve a promotion. 316 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:58,510 [laughs] You adorable idiot. 317 00:13:58,554 --> 00:14:00,686 I'm the one who told Ransom to promote you. 318 00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:02,166 -You did? -Yes. 319 00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,473 I was just keeping my mouth shut so it'd be a surprise. 320 00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:05,604 You aren't mad at me? 321 00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:07,432 No. Look, I am really touched, 322 00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:08,912 but this is why we can't keep secrets. 323 00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,088 One of us always ends up covered in slime. 324 00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:13,177 Yeah, and it's not coming up. 325 00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:15,963 Would you just go save the ship already? You don't need me. 326 00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:18,226 Thanks, Mariner. I'm glad we're friends. 327 00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:21,359 Ew! Did you just pat me on the head? 328 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,100 Yeah, it felt weird to me, too. I'm sorry. 329 00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:31,413 You are Chondus, and you're with friends. 330 00:14:31,456 --> 00:14:33,067 This is Shabarnes and Swhale Swhalens. 331 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:36,026 He's a combination of Steve Stevens and Matt the whale. 332 00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:38,333 I want a fish. [squeaks] 333 00:14:38,376 --> 00:14:41,858 He's not my best work, but it matters not. 334 00:14:41,902 --> 00:14:47,168 Soon, the entire [bleep] crew will be a Tuvix army! 335 00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:47,951 [gasps] 336 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:54,305 Prepare to energize. 337 00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:57,134 We have to do something. 338 00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,441 I am already taking control of the transporters. 339 00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:03,097 -You can do that? -Starfleet systems are easily circumvented. 340 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,750 Hey, what are you doing? 341 00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:08,102 [yowls] 342 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,284 [gasps] 343 00:15:16,327 --> 00:15:20,027 You combined all of them into one big Tuvix-y meatball? 344 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:21,376 Perhaps I could still split them 345 00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:22,899 into their individual components. 346 00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,554 Why isn't it working? 347 00:15:25,597 --> 00:15:27,295 I cannot isolate their genetic signatures. 348 00:15:27,338 --> 00:15:28,905 There are too many merged hybrids. 349 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:30,994 [Tendi gasps] 350 00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:38,871 COMPUTER: Confirm new heading. 351 00:15:38,915 --> 00:15:42,092 Setting a course to Borg Cube 858779. 352 00:15:42,136 --> 00:15:43,398 Computer, cancel! 353 00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:45,095 [both laughing] 354 00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:54,104 [sighs] I miss my wife. 355 00:15:54,148 --> 00:15:55,453 [door whooshes open] 356 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,889 RANSOM: Mr. Boimler. 357 00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:59,022 Zap this stuff and get me down from here. 358 00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:00,545 No time. I need an engineer. 359 00:16:01,982 --> 00:16:03,157 -[gasps] Ow. -Sorry. 360 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,680 Wait! Free us, too! 361 00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,682 If we survive this, we're having a long talk, 362 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:08,466 -Mr. Boim-- Uh... -[door whooshes open] 363 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,946 -[door whooshes shut] -BOIMLER: Okay, 364 00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:11,034 the macro bots have locked us out, 365 00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:12,470 but we need to shut down main systems. 366 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,342 Um, um, uh, we got to break Voyager. 367 00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:16,474 I got to break Voyager. Ooh, I have just the thing. 368 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,172 Yes, I knew you would. 369 00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:20,435 The method employed by the Voyager'sEMH can only mark 370 00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:21,871 one individual. 371 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,047 High command will not be impressed with my error. 372 00:16:24,091 --> 00:16:26,223 TENDI: That scanner T'Illups suggested 373 00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:29,270 picks up all sorts of stuff, including personality traits. 374 00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:31,098 That's how we can fix this. 375 00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:33,361 I fail to see how that helps me differentiate a whale 376 00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:34,536 from Steve Stevens. 377 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:35,972 Because you don't know them. Look. 378 00:16:36,016 --> 00:16:38,627 This area is proud, confident and a little silly. 379 00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:39,889 Oh, that's the captain. 380 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,499 If I isolate genetic code 381 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,153 and you mark their personalities... 382 00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:44,502 We can get everyone back. 383 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,938 Why are you helping me? 384 00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:47,853 Do you not have ethical problems with this solution? 385 00:16:47,897 --> 00:16:49,681 Well, yeah, I did, but, uh, 386 00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:51,553 this is a non-sentient blob of meat, 387 00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:53,729 so I'm willing to go outside my comfort zone. [chuckles] 388 00:16:53,772 --> 00:16:55,209 I mean, for our friends. 389 00:16:55,252 --> 00:16:57,385 Hmm. Thank you. 390 00:17:06,307 --> 00:17:07,917 Are you sure this is gonna work? 391 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,875 Nope, but it feels like a kooky Voyagersolution, 392 00:17:09,918 --> 00:17:11,964 -so it's worth a try. -COMPUTER: Bridge. 393 00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:20,321 -[screams, grunts] -CHAOTICA: Any last words 394 00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:24,194 before you feel the sting of my electro Luger? 395 00:17:25,239 --> 00:17:27,415 Ha! There's only one thing 396 00:17:27,457 --> 00:17:29,939 you haven't thought of, Dr. Chaotica. 397 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:33,769 [laughs] Please, I think of everything at all times. 398 00:17:33,812 --> 00:17:36,293 [laughs] That's what you think. 399 00:17:36,337 --> 00:17:38,208 What are you babbling about, fool? 400 00:17:38,252 --> 00:17:40,210 I am not a Starfleet ensign. 401 00:17:40,254 --> 00:17:43,213 I am the son of Captain Proton. 402 00:17:43,257 --> 00:17:45,041 [gasps] No. 403 00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:46,434 [laughs] I got it. 404 00:17:46,477 --> 00:17:48,653 How could that be-be-be? 405 00:17:48,697 --> 00:17:50,264 -[glitching continues] -It's working. 406 00:17:50,307 --> 00:17:53,136 What the hell is wrong with you, Chaotica? 407 00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:56,139 COMPUTER: Alert. Bio-neural systems shutting down. 408 00:17:56,183 --> 00:17:57,445 [glitching]: Wh-Wh-Wh-What? 409 00:17:57,488 --> 00:17:58,968 Saints preserve us. 410 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,231 I am full of love. 411 00:18:01,275 --> 00:18:03,059 Ooh, I'll cut off your head! 412 00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,670 -[screams] -[glitching laugh] 413 00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:08,064 Oh, we did it. We broke Voyager. 414 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:10,762 What did you do to my beautiful ship? 415 00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:12,199 I used the Neelix cheese. 416 00:18:12,242 --> 00:18:14,070 It gummed up the neural network just the way it likes. 417 00:18:14,114 --> 00:18:15,898 [screams] 418 00:18:17,247 --> 00:18:19,815 [grunts] Let's get this bad boy locked up. 419 00:18:19,858 --> 00:18:22,252 We should still have time to clean before we get to Earth. 420 00:18:22,296 --> 00:18:24,472 Well done. [groans] 421 00:18:24,515 --> 00:18:27,997 Now I have to add another exhibit to the Voyagerstory. 422 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,782 ♪ 423 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,057 FREEMAN: Captain's log, supplemental. 424 00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:48,409 After an embarrassing day 425 00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,324 of being merged on a subcellular level 426 00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:52,369 with my senior staff, 427 00:18:52,413 --> 00:18:54,458 we are putting the awkwardness behind us 428 00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:56,373 with a promotion ceremony. 429 00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:58,680 [clears throat] Today's, uh... 430 00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:01,944 frankly bizarre series of Voyagerthemed obstacles 431 00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:06,383 only prove that you are all creative, accomplished officers. 432 00:19:06,427 --> 00:19:10,039 Commander, please announce our new lieutenant junior grades. 433 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,563 RANSOM: Ensign Brad Boimler. 434 00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:16,437 [others whooping] 435 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,742 Quick thinking today, Mr. Boimler. 436 00:19:17,786 --> 00:19:18,830 Thank you, sir. 437 00:19:20,441 --> 00:19:24,314 -Provisional Ensign T'Lyn. -[others whooping] 438 00:19:24,358 --> 00:19:27,404 Unexpected, but appreciated. 439 00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:30,015 -RANSOM: Ensign D'Vana Tendi. -Oh, my gosh! What? No way! 440 00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:31,669 [others cheering] 441 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,585 Thank you, sir. Guys, I got a pip! 442 00:19:34,629 --> 00:19:36,718 All right, that's what I'm talking about. 443 00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:40,330 My main objective here is to prove to the High Council 444 00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:42,724 that I should be reinstated to the Vulcan fleet. 445 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,508 But after today, 446 00:19:44,552 --> 00:19:46,902 I have grown to respect your skills as a scientist. 447 00:19:46,945 --> 00:19:49,513 I'm so excited we got promoted together. 448 00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:52,342 Now we really can be best science friends. 449 00:19:52,386 --> 00:19:55,171 That is not the lesson to take from this moment. 450 00:19:55,215 --> 00:19:58,479 Damn, looks like half of Beta shift will be ensigns no more. 451 00:19:58,522 --> 00:20:00,132 Ooh, let's hit the bar and celebrate. 452 00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:02,657 And, finally, Ensign Beckett Mariner. 453 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,049 -Wait, wh-what? -[gasps] 454 00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,486 -[applause] -[laughs] 455 00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:07,444 Sir, I... No, this has to be a mistake. 456 00:20:07,488 --> 00:20:09,533 Congratulations, Lieutenant. 457 00:20:14,973 --> 00:20:16,758 -[door chimes] -Yo, yo. 458 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,412 Sir, this is wrong. 459 00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:20,065 I don't want to get promoted. 460 00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:21,502 I know you don't. 461 00:20:21,545 --> 00:20:24,592 Okay, then stop sliding it back to me and throw it out. 462 00:20:24,635 --> 00:20:26,158 Did you know Voyager's full of cameras? 463 00:20:26,202 --> 00:20:28,465 Came in handy when putting together the old mission log. 464 00:20:28,509 --> 00:20:31,381 I saw you help Boimler be the best he could be. 465 00:20:31,425 --> 00:20:32,991 So what? Boimler loves being encouraged. 466 00:20:33,035 --> 00:20:34,210 It's, like, his favorite thing. 467 00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,907 I went back and dug through your record. 468 00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:37,735 You've had a lot of small-minded commanders 469 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,607 who promoted then demoted you. 470 00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:42,392 But now, you're with Jack Ransom. 471 00:20:42,436 --> 00:20:44,438 I'm twice as smart as any of those other guys, 472 00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:47,223 and I know you just need someone to believe in you. 473 00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:48,877 Consider yourself lucky 474 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,227 that you have an amazing commanding officer. 475 00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:53,403 Sir, I am refusing this promotion. 476 00:20:53,447 --> 00:20:55,449 -You can't do this to me. -No, not gonna hear it. 477 00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:57,625 -You're dismissed, Lieutenant. -No, this isn't over. 478 00:20:57,668 --> 00:20:58,713 I'm not leaving. 479 00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,410 For real. I-I'm staying right here 480 00:21:00,454 --> 00:21:02,760 -until you listen to reason. -[grunts] You do you. 481 00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,197 -[grunts] Feel the burn. -[groaning] 482 00:21:10,464 --> 00:21:12,204 -Mm. -Yeah, I... 483 00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:14,032 I couldn't even talk him out of it. He's such an idiot. 484 00:21:14,076 --> 00:21:15,512 What are you so bummed about? 485 00:21:15,556 --> 00:21:16,687 Now we get to be lieutenant JGs together. 486 00:21:16,731 --> 00:21:18,863 [sighs] All of us except Rutherford. 487 00:21:18,907 --> 00:21:21,213 I mean, I did break Voyager. 488 00:21:21,257 --> 00:21:23,085 Engineers can't get promoted for breaking stuff. 489 00:21:23,128 --> 00:21:24,521 We always fix things. 490 00:21:24,565 --> 00:21:26,131 Shouldn't you be drunk and chanting 491 00:21:26,175 --> 00:21:27,611 with a fist in the air right now? 492 00:21:27,655 --> 00:21:30,571 Come on, no more bunks, no more holodeck duty! 493 00:21:30,614 --> 00:21:31,615 We did it! 494 00:21:31,659 --> 00:21:33,487 I know. I just, I-I can't believe 495 00:21:33,530 --> 00:21:35,532 we're not lower decks anymore. 496 00:21:35,576 --> 00:21:37,186 We're lieutenant junior grades, 497 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,536 the least important mid-level officers. 498 00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,059 We do all the grunt work with none of the perks. 499 00:21:41,103 --> 00:21:42,452 We're still lower decks. 500 00:21:42,496 --> 00:21:44,889 Yeah, maybe you're right, and-and, hey, 501 00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:47,501 maybe from now on, our lives will be a lot easier. All right. 502 00:21:47,544 --> 00:21:48,806 MARINER and BOIMLER: Lower decks! 503 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,808 ALL: Lower decks! Lower decks! 504 00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:52,375 -Lower decks! -Come on, T'Lyn. 505 00:21:52,419 --> 00:21:54,856 Lower decks! Lower decks! 506 00:21:54,899 --> 00:21:56,423 -[chanting continues] -TENDI: This is going to be great! 507 00:21:56,466 --> 00:21:59,600 New jobs and no mysterious threats to get in our way. 508 00:21:59,643 --> 00:22:00,644 GROUP: No mysterious threats! 509 00:22:11,699 --> 00:22:12,961 [groans] 510 00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:15,616 Cease that nervous honing and let me sleep. 511 00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:17,748 I am not nervous. I am restless. 512 00:22:17,792 --> 00:22:20,577 Eager to ram my blade through my enemies. 513 00:22:20,621 --> 00:22:22,840 That's not a blade. It's a spear. 514 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:25,321 A coward's weapon used to poke a foe at a distance. 515 00:22:25,365 --> 00:22:26,801 It has no honor. 516 00:22:26,844 --> 00:22:30,021 Nobody calls me a coward and lives to tell the tale. 517 00:22:30,065 --> 00:22:31,066 [grunts] 518 00:22:31,109 --> 00:22:33,547 [both grunt] 519 00:22:33,590 --> 00:22:34,983 Are you free for lunch today? 520 00:22:35,026 --> 00:22:37,551 They are serving eyes or hearts or something. 521 00:22:37,594 --> 00:22:39,204 [sighs] I cannot make it. 522 00:22:39,248 --> 00:22:42,643 The captain has ordered me to sit with Commander Vekras 523 00:22:42,686 --> 00:22:45,341 and transcribe his tedious battle tales. 524 00:22:45,385 --> 00:22:46,908 It is a waste of time. 525 00:22:46,951 --> 00:22:50,215 Ma'ah lucked his way into that captain's chair. 526 00:22:50,259 --> 00:22:52,304 He forgets who his true allies are. 527 00:22:52,348 --> 00:22:54,785 He won't be captain much longer. 528 00:22:54,829 --> 00:22:56,439 -[alarm blaring] -[both gasp] 529 00:22:56,483 --> 00:22:59,616 We are in battle. Who was wrong to sharpen their spear now? 530 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:00,748 [grunts] 531 00:23:00,791 --> 00:23:02,706 ♪ 532 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:09,278 I read one life sign on board, Captain. 533 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,281 Unknown vessel, you have drifted into Klingon space. 534 00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:13,630 Identify yourself. 535 00:23:17,242 --> 00:23:19,157 No response. Should we fire on them? 536 00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:22,683 We gain no honor in destroying an incapacitated ship. 537 00:23:22,726 --> 00:23:25,163 Mark their location and resume our course to Qo'noS. 538 00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:27,949 Sir, it's moving. 539 00:23:29,037 --> 00:23:30,473 KEY'LOR: They're charging weapons. 540 00:23:30,517 --> 00:23:32,040 Destroy those qoHpu'. 541 00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:33,998 I said fire. 542 00:23:34,042 --> 00:23:35,173 I'm trying, but weapons are down. 543 00:23:35,217 --> 00:23:36,174 What? 544 00:23:36,218 --> 00:23:37,741 All systems are losing power. 545 00:23:37,785 --> 00:23:38,786 That's impossible. 546 00:23:42,137 --> 00:23:44,052 [all scream] 547 00:23:58,153 --> 00:24:01,156 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 548 00:24:47,289 --> 00:24:48,725 [man imitates weapons firing] 549 00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:51,728 Chirp.